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Later Starters Support thread - Page 11

post #201 of 281

new late starter!

I'm a new late starter to ds, 10 months. My husband is quickly getting frustrated with it, as I'm not catching the pees and poops just yet. I think he expects me to have him potty trained like in a month with this. I know EC-ing isn't about just getting your baby potty trained.. I am enjoying the chance to be better in tune with ds, and he loves being "free". But I was wondering, to appease my husband, has anyone had success with late-start EC-ing that results in a potty-trained baby, earlier than normal?
post #202 of 281
-- has anyone had success with late-start EC-ing that results in a potty-trained baby, earlier than normal? --

Certainly. However, as with all potty training methods, some EC late-starters finish relatively fast while others do not. Since there is no way to know in advance, it's wise to not have any fixed expectations or high hopes, as these can lead to frustration or giving up. Your ds will move along at his own natural pace, along with your gentle assistance.

You said your husband is getting frustrated with EC. If this happens to be because you are leaving your baby without diapers or other protection and that your dh dislikes accidents and messes, remember that it is fine to use diapers or training pants in between potty visits. Perhaps your dh will be less frustrated if you do.

Or if you are spending loads of time on trips to the bathroom or potty, you could reduce some of the time spent doing this to focus on other things, especially while dh is around. Remember that infant pottying is NOT an all-or-nothing thing. If you find it causes stress in the home, cut back on the time spent EC'ing for a while.

In any case, it is unreasonable and impossible for anyone to catch all elimination for many, many months. It's a gradual process. It's fine to EC part-time, meaning, if you only potty him a few times a day for a while, this is okay.

The key is stay relaxed and enjoy!

Laurie
www.white-boucke.com/IPTstuff.html
post #203 of 281
Hi Everyone!

Wow! I'm so excited to find this forum!!: My twins are almost 16 months old so I thought that it was too late. What's the difference between EC and toilet learning?

My sons are in cloth diapers with velcro covers. They have been driving my DH and I crazy because they constantly pull their diapers off. This is fine with us if we're downstairs on our wood floor, but not if they're on carpet or on our bed!! We also have a potty chair that they like to sit on but they've never used. We let them run around naked, but they end up going on the floor most of the time. With two I have a very difficult time chasing them both around!

What would you all recommend for containing urine/bm when we're just hanging out at home and I don't have time to be cleaning up accidents? I saw online some gerber training underwear. That would be a mess with the bm but at least they wouldn't be able to pull their diaper off. Anyone have suggestions? I also have 2 snap fitted dipes that I thought I could buy more of but they are so expensive.

TIA!!! BTW-Laurie Boucke- we're in CO too!!
post #204 of 281
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post
What's the difference between EC and toilet learning?
Hi there!

In my opinion, EC is a form of toilet learning. Medical professionals classify it this way. For late-starters, many of the tactics are the same as with toilet learning. With EC there is a lot of emphasis on communication and responsiveness, plus there is no punishment or coercion involved.

You are already off to a good start with your twins. It's good that you are using cloth and that they enjoy being diaper-free at times. As you are finding, it can be a little tricky to get them to go in a potty at first. Keep trying at the most likely times.

It sounds like training pants would be helpful to contain elimination, or else some sort of waterproof cover with disposable linings. One brand is G-diapers.

It might also be helpful to have two potties (one for each boy) in a few different rooms for a while, so they don't have to go far at potty time.

If you're not too far from Boulder, there are monthly DiaperFreeBaby playgroup meetings there.

Laurie
post #205 of 281

feeling discouraged

DD is 18 mo and about a month and a half ago we went diaper free around the house and outside so she could feel what her body was doing and I could watch for signs. The second day she went twice outside when I asked her to try peeing, I was soooooo excited with this immediate success. She doesn't seem to want to pee on the toilet, we have several kinds and I have tried every conceivable combination, I can occasionally get her to sit on it (read stories, play, sit next to mom, etc.), but 98% of the time she won't pee, then 2 minutes later she pees on the floor. I know she has to go, but can't get her to try in an "acceptable" location. Anyway, a couple weeks into this she was pooping on the toilet (she has been great at realizing when she has to poop and telling me) and looked between her legs and saw the poop coming out and FREAKED out, saying "ALL DONE, ALL DONE!" She held it for two days and has slowly come back to being okay pooping in her diaper (if she is wearing underwear it seems to bug her and she comes and tells me she is pooping, but refuses to sit on the toilet or anywhere, I clean her up and 5 minutes later we repeat until the entire BM is out in tiny increments).

Sorry for the novel, I am just getting really frustrated...She is a pretty stubborn little lady and I wonder if I waited too long to start. Should I just go back to diapers?

Any suggestions? Advice?
post #206 of 281
With late-starters, it's perfectly normal and very very common for a child to sit on the toilet or potty for a while, then to get up and go on the floor. You need to be patient and give her time to learn. It might take her some weeks or a few months to catch on, or she might surprise you and start sooner. It takes practice and gentle encouragement. Most important of all is for you to remain relaxed, relaxed, relaxed.

From your description, it sounds like she might do better with cloth diapers or training pants for now. You can still try to potty her at likely times, as long as she doesn't get too upset by this. If it toally upsets her, I'd stop offering for a day or two but would keep talking about potties, toilets, staying dry, etc. Let her watch you use the toilet and ask if she wants to sit there just for fun. I assume you have a child's attachable toilet seat for her but if not, be sure to get one.

There are some kids' toilet learning books you could check out from the library, maybe even some DVDs. We have a DVD called "Potty Whispering" that you could request your library to get for you, or if you want to acquire a book or DVD, here's a link: http://www.white-boucke.com/IPTstuff.html

Good luck!

Laurie
post #207 of 281
thanks for the advice! she has done really well in the mornings the past few days. I hope that DH can stay relaxed about it when I head back to work on wednesday.
post #208 of 281

Late starter and dont know where to start

Hi everyone my emilie is almost 8 motnhs old and i am starting to potty train her, i have just bought her a potty and put her on it a couple of times and she plays a whiel and is fine but has not done anything on it yet. Also after i take her of it seh goes in her diapers, i do know when she is actually pupping and i tried to taker her but was a bit late ( i just started saturday). i kinda know her pooping hours and i will try to get her there at those times. Also i've been thinking of taking her to try number right after she wakes up from her naps and in the morning.

I am currently a stay at home mom who is working on her thesis and i do have time to watch my girl, also she is bundle of energy who is incredibly active. Any tips or advice on how i must get started or what to do?
post #209 of 281
Hi all! DD is 11 months and we started maybe six weeks ago? A friend on another forum introduced me to it and we thought we'd try it! DD poops probably 50% of the time in her little potty and/or big potty with me sitting behind her. And pees maybe 1 or 2 times a day. I WOH F/T, so it's hard to go fully EC, but part-time is working for us. DD is great about letting us know when she needs to potty, and DH is great at being supportive with it.
post #210 of 281

help please

I have 8 month old baby girl i've been ECing for 2 almost 3 weeks now, so far i have only managed to catch 3 pees a day the ones that are very obvious like after sleep and naps and as for poop not one, i know when she is pooping but when i take her she looses it and stops. Any ideas? Also the pees i dont catch every day only every other day. I still havent caught any signs as to before she pees only after that she shudders.

I try to take her when i think she mught be due for pee but most of the time she doesnt relieve herself, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Claudia
Mother to hurricane Emilie
post #211 of 281
Hi everyone. DS is 15 months old and he was doing really good about sitting on his potty for good stretches of time while we looked at a book, only peed once but I was still thrilled. Now he gets irritated pretty quickly and wants off the potty even though I know its getting close to time for him to go. I take him off and he immediately goes on the floor. I know this is normal and I've read some good EC books. PG with #2 right now and have a better idea of how to go about this EC stuff with a little baby. I was wondering if anyone had good recs on a book/books that talk more about how to instead of why to especially with older babies/toddlers? Most everything I've read gives good instructions for newborns, but a lot of reasons why to EC. I'm sold on EC, I was just hoping to find some helpful tips for a toddler. Thanks!
post #212 of 281
This isn't an EC book but it's not a traditional potty training book, either (she never calls it EC but her own babies were put on the potty at 6 mos ). Anyway, the title is Diaper Free Before Three (cheesy, I know). I found it pretty helpful for practical information re: older babies. Hope that helps!
post #213 of 281
Thank! I'll take a look at it.
post #214 of 281
Hi Mamas, I am so glad I found this thread - it's wonderful!

DD is almost 9 months and I want to start EC because, well, it just makes complete sense.I wish I had known about it 9 months ago

I have been reading so much that my head is kinda spinning and it seems a little overwhelming but I am trying to take some first 'baby steps' and work on trying to figure out her signs better as I can't always read them very well. I try and change her dipe often so she doesn't get used to being wet and to give her lots of opportunities to pee on the potty.

Her BM signs are very clear and we can catch 95% of them in the potty/toilet and she seems happy to go there.But her pees are harder to catch and often I end up sitting her on for a while and she pees on the floor as soon as she gets off or else in her dipe a while later. 'm not sure what I am doing wrong here...I think I have lousy timing for pees and yet I seem to be offering it all day!

I want to try EC at night as she has become very restless and wakes up more frequently. Lately, I have had to change her diaper several times in the night as it is soaked and I have a gut feeling that she is waking up because she needs to pee ( I get the sense that she hates peeing in her dipe at night) and if I offered her the potty at it would allow her to sleep better for a little longer.

I was wondering how often both during the day and night should I offer her the potty? What are the most likely times they need to pee?

TIA
post #215 of 281
A RE-starter
Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchfry View Post
Hi everyone. DS is 15 months old and he was doing really good about sitting... Now he gets irritated pretty quickly and wants off the potty even though I know its getting close to time for him to go. I take him off and he immediately goes on the floor. I know this is normal and I've read some good EC books. PG with #2 right now and have a better idea of how to go about this EC stuff with a little baby.
I'm in a similar boat. Tho, My dd is 25 m and was EC'd daylite- f/t from 9d to 9m, w/total #2 success. by 12 ms I was missing every #2- basicallly I knew when she had to go, but as soon as I put the diapie back on, she went. she started throwing fits if i held her on over the toilet, after we had a week of diarrhea at 9 m-which was the end of EC . now she's 2 and I want her out of diapers. she's just lazy, she's smart and knows all about the potty...even cheers me after I go! mama! lol.
I have another one coming in Nov and plan to do EC full-time w/ that baby, once home from the hosp. I didn't know of early nighttime EC til much later.
I will try to do that w/ this baby.. so long as *I* am getting adequate rest. (my dh is gone a lot- school and work)
I now have dd butt nakey when home. today dh entertained her (sat) and I coached him on some tips I rec'd. she asked to sit on the potty x2 today.. big improvement from last week. she missed a #2- spoke it "potty poo poo" while she made tiny one on the flr. . and missed the pee that came b4. I tried to give her as much juice today as I could. (thank goodness for "shark" steam vac!)
She has a bm or 2 everyday, but I see she's holding it w/the diapie off days. I am okay w/ that as long as she doesn't get constipated. tomorrow we have plans out, so she will probably relieve herself in her diapie. when she turned 2, i started putting her in cotton trainers- after her nap and she loves them & rejects a diapie, but still soils them and doesn't seem to mind; even gets mad if i stop her play to change her!
i've ordered some potty/EC books- I hope I can get to read them by nov.
*tips: make on and off 'sssh' sound 'while' pushing on her pelvic/bladder. push fluids (she loves to drink so i dont even have to) don't sit and read books, try to talk about poo more so she's concentrating on her goal. she is making the sssh sound and asked me and dh to do it more and even pushed on her bladder herself today.
she stands up to see what's in the potty -just like the kids in her story books do.

: : :
post #216 of 281
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver's Mama View Post
I'm a new late starter to ds, 10 months. My husband is quickly getting frustrated with it, as I'm not catching the pees and poops just yet. I think he expects me to have him potty trained like in a month with this. I know EC-ing isn't about just getting your baby potty trained.. I am enjoying the chance to be better in tune with ds, and he loves being "free". But I was wondering, to appease my husband, has anyone had success with late-start EC-ing that results in a potty-trained baby, earlier than normal?

I would not include dh if he is expressing frustration- bc it will reflect onto you... then onto the goal.
find out why he is and if its not fixable, take over 100%.
i was lucky that i had 99.9% support. dh and my parents, but only one non-caretaker thought ec was silly. didnt matter to me bc that person wasn't involved at all.
all the other (-) "support" i rec'd i just closed the door on it.
good luck!!
post #217 of 281

Hmm 17+ months and starting EC?

I can't believe I didn't know about this until now!:
I'm going to spend ALL day searching this forum in hopes that I too can start DS with EC.. is it harder for boys?:
post #218 of 281

Late starting at 16 months

Hi everyone,
my DD is almost 17 mo and I started EC/early PL at 16 months when through a few stories of foreign born moms which made me see just what a ridiculous crock the diaper industry has pulled upon moms in this country. It makes soooo much sense that a baby should at least not be in diapers if possible after 2 yrs. when I see my DD running around; and it's getting really hard to change her! Some moms I know were saying they had to WRESTLE their kids to change them, and it is not pretty when it's a #2.

I started right away after then, and am glad to have this forum of other late starting moms. It is pretty frustrating to have this little person who seems to know what's going on, but often refuses to do it.

I read earlier posts, and it seems common that my DD hates to/gets bored with sit on the Baby Bjorn Potty (after a very exciting first 2 days - caught almost ALL the pees and one poo), then go and pee alot somewhere else. And she loves to PLAY with it. I believe she may even be holding it so she can play with it.

However, I don't pressure her too much now. I tried to coerce a bit more the first week, and she started to HATE it. So I put the potty away and after a week or so, when I pulled it out and was very casual about it, she went on it by herself AGAIN, but that again lasted only a few pees. I just try to give her as much naked time as possible part time, when I'm not feeling so frazzled and can pay attention.

I try not to get discouraged and realize that at this age, the challenge is to UNLEARN them from over a year of diaper training. And feel hopeful that if I can get her at least day trained by the terrible 2's, we'll have a large hurdle past us!

Hope to see alot more activity and support. It seems a little slow to find other late ECers!
post #219 of 281
Hi - yes, this thread does seem slow. I do "occasional" EC and conciensious (sp?) diapering with my boys - meaning I do look for cues, and give potty-tunities, and change frequently to try to maintain dryness as best I can with 2 little ones. My just-turned-2-year-old is now in underwear (actually the gerber ones with some extra cotton padding) except for naps and night. I feel we did well not pushing him too hard, but just keeping the dialogue about pee, poop, and potties open. We will continue to let him go gradually with the nap and night pees. Usually he is dry until right when he is waking up and then he goes before he fully wakes and gets out of bed. Hopefully that will keep progressing. I know he's "late" in terms of EC'ing, but he's VERY early in terms of everybody else we know IRL. I'm sure our own mothers would consider it "on time" though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chloe.speaks View Post
Hi everyone,
my DD is almost 17 mo and I started EC/early PL at 16 months when through a few stories of foreign born moms which made me see just what a ridiculous crock the diaper industry has pulled upon moms in this country. It makes soooo much sense that a baby should at least not be in diapers if possible after 2 yrs. when I see my DD running around; and it's getting really hard to change her! Some moms I know were saying they had to WRESTLE their kids to change them, and it is not pretty when it's a #2.

I started right away after then, and am glad to have this forum of other late starting moms. It is pretty frustrating to have this little person who seems to know what's going on, but often refuses to do it.

I read earlier posts, and it seems common that my DD hates to/gets bored with sit on the Baby Bjorn Potty (after a very exciting first 2 days - caught almost ALL the pees and one poo), then go and pee alot somewhere else. And she loves to PLAY with it. I believe she may even be holding it so she can play with it.

However, I don't pressure her too much now. I tried to coerce a bit more the first week, and she started to HATE it. So I put the potty away and after a week or so, when I pulled it out and was very casual about it, she went on it by herself AGAIN, but that again lasted only a few pees. I just try to give her as much naked time as possible part time, when I'm not feeling so frazzled and can pay attention.

I try not to get discouraged and realize that at this age, the challenge is to UNLEARN them from over a year of diaper training. And feel hopeful that if I can get her at least day trained by the terrible 2's, we'll have a large hurdle past us!

Hope to see alot more activity and support. It seems a little slow to find other late ECers!
post #220 of 281
Quote:
Originally Posted by aept View Post
I know he's "late" in terms of EC'ing, but he's VERY early in terms of everybody else we know IRL. I'm sure our own mothers would consider it "on time" though.
Exactly. Potty training actually seems like it might be harder if you are starting after 2, which most moms are doing. By that time, they have been diaper-trained for alot longer. Some ECing moms started really early but gave up because it was hard for them, but found that even that early idea made late potty training easier.

Good job on sticking with it however part time. I admire all moms and especially those with more than one trying to do one more thing! I'm sure our moms would think it was par the course, but really I think modern moms have even more on their plates to think about! (I mean my mom didn't know and wouldn't have been able to manage "playdates")
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