Later Starters Support thread - Page 3

[SomerG]

We just started EC'ing with our 6 1/2 mo. old. The last couple days we have caught a couple of pees each day, but no poops yet. Most of the pees are right after waking up from naps. I really have not figured out any signals yet, but we're working on the timing. He has been going all day with just a loose prefold on, so that I can tell as soon as he's wet. We have wall to wall carpeting, and he is very mobile, so I'm not comfortable totally going without. It's good to hear other success stories, and know that we're not too late to start!

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by Siana

I've been wanting to EC my son since he was around 6 months. After reading about missing the window of opportunity that comes before 6 months, I didn't pursue the idea further.

Gosh, there is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO window of opportunity! Anybody who claims otherwise is welcome to travel to Russia and see with their own eyes like alot of moms introduce a potty to their babies at age of 5-6 months and they get fully potty-trained by 1year of age!

[Siana]

I'm glad to hear that Yulia_R. It makes me feel less defeated

Pen. BBLP is Baby Bjorn Little Potty. I got them used from a mom here... all the way from the US just for my little guy (in the US new they are US$10, in Canada CA$20! Go figure). Anyway the BBLP is so compact that I can take one with us when travelling (I took one when we visited a friend the other day). My aim is to show DS that no matter where he goes the potty will be there for him. Does that make sense? It made sense to me when I thought of it earlier!

Anyway everything much more relaxed around here. I've determined I'm going to focus on nakky-bum time in the morning hours, though I'm not afraid to change that a bit if I'm too tired in the morning (like today. I feel like crap, so DS is in a diaper ).

GTG

[Yulia_R]

take it easy

Just don't get too stressed over the whole thing and do not stress your baby by pushing too hard. Take it nice and slow, so your baby will have FUN experience with the potty, not a negative one. And you will be cool !

[Pen]

Our best time is in the AM and our worst is at dinner. Somehow when I sit down to eat, my pee radar shuts down.

Here's a funny story: (well I think it's funny) I usually don't diaper at night anymore but last night, after a long day and no body was feeling right, I thought it best to diaper. Well at 5am, dd is thrashing around on the bed and didn't want to nurse but was still sort of asleep. So, I took out the pot and placed her on it on my lap. I am waiting and waiting and wondering why I'm not hearing anything. I had forgotten the diaper but dd hadn't. She was awake now and looking at me waiting for me to take off the diaper.

I am also glad to hear there is no magic window of opportunity. Now, I wish people didn't say that babies have no bladder control.

[UllaBulla]

Starting late

My DS is 10 months, We're ready to start! I am another that has read about it and thought it was a great idea- just didn't get around to it....
I have been taking care of another baby, but just quit, I'm ready to focus just on my son. I've got a lot of prefolds, but he can also go nakies for a while
Here we go

[sarajane]

Beachrock, you asked if anyone was doing it part-time, I am! I am wanting to switch to full-time though.

I just found this thread and I am glad I did.

I started part-time ec with Neveah at 3 months and we took a few breaks here and there. Once when she just always cried when we tried and another when I was ill, very very ill. I couldn't do anything at ALL, it was horrible!

Anyway, I have been trying to switch to full-time but every time I do I get impatient and stop. Don't want to stress about it. It is so hard to catch her pees! And she has been constipated too so that is a different battle altogether. AT least I think she is. She will go 4 days without pooing! I asked about this over in life with a babe and mostly I heard it was normal. Is it? It just seems so wierd to me because it happened all of a sudden. Before she was going 1 to 3 times a day, every single day. Twice most days. 1 and 3 were rare. It was just so regular and now it is every 4 days. I am making sure to drink enough water and eat fruit and I give her fruit (when she will take it). She seems ok so I guess it is nothing.....

Well, I guess I got off topic a bit there. What types of signs do your little ones give they need to go pee? I haven't noticed anything from Neveah with peeing, ever. I can tell when she needs to poo but that is about it. She will go when I put her on the potty. I just sit her on there, I have one of those little seats you set on the big potty and she will sit there all by herself, I'm just there to make sure she doesn't fall. I'm glad because she is so heavy!

Good luck fellow late-starters!

[sarajane]

I am also glad to hear there is no magic window of opportunity. Now, I wish people didn't say that babies have no bladder control.

:

[Realrellim]

Hi everyone, I'm a late starter too!

We "officially" started at 12-1/2 months, but we were teaching DD the ASL "toilet" sign started at 10 months. Once she started signing back when she saw a toilet or we were on a toilet or whatever, we were ready to go. We've had pretty good success, catching a number of pees and for the first time today, a poop (probably only b/c the only thing she wanted to do today was sit on the toilet). It's kind of a casual EC for us.

The best part is that she almost always signs "toilet" now, even if we don't make it to the potty in time. We'd been CDing since birth, so I'm sure she's been aware she's been wet, even if she couldn't communicate it.

Ruth doesn't really give any signs that she's about to pee, so I only know if she signs "toilet' to me. And of course, I put her on the potty after she's been sleeping because she's likely to go and I like to be ready.

Anyhow, I was glad to see this site. Yahoo also has a group for late starters that I've been a part of, but I think this will be a nice cozy group.

Other late starters--do your children want to sit on the potty all the time? I've had that with Ruth lately, not sure why.

[sarajane]

Other late starters--do your children want to sit on the potty all the time?

Not really but she does really like to sit there. We haven't done the whole sign thing, what is the purpose in this? How do you teach it to them, I don't even know what the sign is....

[Realrellim]

Well, sign language isn't necessarily associated with EC, but it does make it easier for us.

We started doing baby sign language (ASL, in our case) for two reasons: (1) babies usually can sign earlier than they can talk, so they ended up with a larger vocabulary. Ruth currently has two words, maybe three: mama, dada, hi, but she has about 21 signs at this point. So, she can tell us if she wants bread or cheese or milk or water, and it makes things like mealtimes much easier. Plus, she can communicate about other things she thinks/hears/sees, like signing "dog" when she hears a dog bark, or "phone" when she hears the phone ring. (This was useful once when my cell phone was ringing, and she was down by my purse and could hear it, but I didn't. ) (2) She had basically started signing to us anyhow (a sort of "gimmie" sign, which is very similar to the ASL sign for "want"), so we thought it would be easier if we didn't have to guess at what her made-up signs meant.

For EC purposes, we figured we'd teach "toilet" and we also taught her to sign "change" for a diaper change. It means that we don't spend time watching to see what her personal cues are for needing to go, and works better for me since I'd rather have her be able to tell me that she needs to go than be guessing it. It's not for everyone.

The ASL sign for toilet is to make the T handsign (put your thumb between your pointer and middle finger in a fist), and then wiggle your fist back and forth a few times. When Ruth does it, she usually just smooshes her thumb up into her pointer finger or sometimes between them and waves either side to side or more commonly, back and forth. When people see it, they tend to think she has a "cute goodbye" wave--but of course, that's not what she's saying. (I just smile and start making my way toward a bathroom.) To teach it, I just signed "toilet" (and said "toilet" or "I'm going potty" or something like that) every time I went to the bathroom and let her watch and all (she was already pretty interested in what I was doing). And then when we got her potty, we also signed "toilet" while saying the word. And whenever she was obviously pooping, I'd sign "toilet" and she even started signing back in agreement.

[sarajane]

Interesting. Thanks.

[Siana]

Blatant show-off

Yesterday -- after about 3 months of informal/part-time EC -- my LO went to the potty on his own, sat by himself and then peed

Yes it could have been a fluke, but it just gives me so much hope that the process if working. Yeah!

Since then, we've had almost nothing but accidents (well I pick him up midstream and then he pees the rest in the potty) but it's a start. I'm so glad this finally feels like it's really working

[Realrellim]

YAY Siana! That's great news. Congratulations!

Did you have him going naked butt, or in split-crotch pants or something? Ruth will crawl into the bathroom herself or drag me along sometimes instead of signing "toilet," but she can't get her pants down or diaper off, or, for the most part, manage to get on her little potty by herself yet either.

Speaking of split-crotch pants, does anyone have a pattern to knit these?

[Pen]

Originally Posted by Siana

Yesterday -- after about 3 months of informal/part-time EC -- my LO went to the potty on his own, sat by himself and then peed ]
: :
[well I pick him up midstream and then he pees the rest in the potty]

but it's a start. I'm so glad this finally feels like it's really working

This is so exciting!!! yah!!!

[Siana]

Aww. Thanks mamas for the support

I had him going nakey-butt that morning, like I do most mornings (except when I'm too tired). DP is still getting used to the idea of DS going nakey-butt because his pee is a bit smelly now (he's really getting in to solid foods!). DP puts a diaper on DS the first chance he gets, but I was so glad that the morning our first big success happened, DP was right there observing it all.

I never thought EC would be this exciting!

[janebug]

anybody still out there? I had posted when my ds was about 16 mos but didn't get any response but i just checked again and there was an invitation to come over here!!!! Thank you, Siana!

If anybody is still around, would love to hear how things are going and what you think about our situation.

we felt kinda overwhelmed by EC and just kinda thought about it even though ds is at home and dh and I trade off caring for him. i geuss we liked the idea but felt we weren't capable of it. He's now 21 mos.

Back when it was warm we did some nakey time and bought a BBLP and he kinda liked to sit on it and i think we got two pees but it was more an accident of timing than anything and my husband got a poop one time but we think it was b/c ds was too sick to get off the potty when dh put him on.

fast forward to now: it is starting to warm up here again ( i just didn't feel good about having him runa round with few clothes all day in our winters but we'd usually extend nakey time before bath and do stuff like that.) OK, so ds knows when he pees if he is naked and will come and get me right away and show me where it is and he knows we gotta clean it up and he will help. But so far, no amount of "you can go in the potty" seems to encourage him to try. He knows about wet diapers and dry diapers and will sometimes tell you when he as peed with a diaper on (like after a big nursing!) I also got an insert but he seems scared up there. If he is about to go poop we can usually tell and have tried asking him if he wants to use the potty or sometimes putting him on it but that makes him very unhappy and he always says no. he seems to prefer to stand up. but he is getting to where he knows we need to know and change diapers right away and he has sometimes told me himself. And if he does just go standing up on the floor, he is fine to let me wipe and clean things up.

I don't know. maybe i am doing potty learning but i feel like it is more EC and i'd rather do EC but i'm not sure of the difference. maybe a little potty with handles that he could settle himself on would be more comfortable. I 'm so nervous about creating an issue and just always make sure that he knows it is no big deal if poop gets on the floor etc. ( he gets really upset if he thinks he has upset you). Trying to just figure one day he will decide to do it and that'll be the deal.

Any ideas? anybody have any really good resources they felt were helpful for starting late?

[Siana]

Oh I'm dissapointed that this thread hasn't been though for 2 months! Oh mods... it would be nice if this were a sticky, so those who are starting late feel welcomed

Update: DC reliably eliminates in the potty by himself, so long as he's got a bare bum. He's done this for about 2 months now. When I put him in a diapers (when we're out or at night time), he usually pees, and then tells me just after. The last few times however, he's told me before he need to pee, but we're still working on actually getting it in the potty (thakfully has ended up in the diaper as I'm taking it off, not on the floor)

One small step at a time, but I'm so relieved it has worked out so well... my DP and I had been arguing about the point of EC because a few months ago when we were having many accidents. A few weeks after that, something just clicked with DS, and he felt he could trust the potty for pooping on, and since then he's been doing both in there. I can't believe that it didn't take much effort from my end. He just needed some time to figure it out on his own, with our loving guidance when he needed a helping hand.

[Siana]

janebug, sorry no one replied to your post. I have to be quick because this is a bad time of day to be on the computer, but I just really want to reply to your post!

I think the best nugget of advice I was given on EC is to be patient. That's paramount. If you find yourself becoming anxious about the progress, then step away from it for a while, because if there is any negativity or coersion from the parent, it doesn't help the process, and siezes to be Elimination communication.

I'm a person of little patience, and if I can do this, then so can anyone else

23 months is not too late. It's never too late to start EC. Personally, I define EC as any gentle, positive method of pottying, where the elimination cues of the child are responded to. There are infinate variations of EC, so just go with your gut, and know when to take a break if it's needed.

My son took several weeks to get comfortable just sitting on the potty, leave alone actually trying to eliminate in it. It took him 3 months to become completley comfortable with it. I'm sure many children take a while to get used to a potty (figuring out how to sit on so it's comfortable, so it dosen't tip over etc.).

Not sure if I've made much sense, or any of this is helpful to you, but I hope it is

[Pen]

I just wanted to pipe in and encourage other late starters. We started late and DS is really excited to use the potty on her own - we started 6.5 months ago or so at about 6.5 months of age. It also didn't take much 'work' just patience and trust in the process. (Because no one wants to be wet.)