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Poly People  

post #1 of 10
1/7/03 at 8:45pm
Thread Starter 
Gee, I was sure hoping to get to know some other poly parents out there. I think you can all agree it is nice to have someone to talk to about our "lifestyle" that actually understands it!
If anyone would like to chat, drop me a line!
post #2 of 10
1/10/03 at 6:59am

poly

I'm poly and TTC, so not a parent yet but working on it. I'm married, but it was my GF who got me interested in this magazine and some of the parenting choices to be found here. She's also a great model for it, as she and her dh have three kids who are wonderful.

Say, there's a polyparenting list I'm subscribed to. You can join it at www.lovemore.com. It's not as busy as some of Loving More's lists, but there's a good little group of people there.
post #3 of 10
5/1/03 at 11:29am
Oh, we are out here. Just not always too talkative.
post #4 of 10
5/1/03 at 12:35pm
.
post #5 of 10
5/1/03 at 12:52pm
Ok Ok - LOL I am very talkative too.

Just in a bit of a snit this morning - my boss is insane.

Hubby (bf at time) and I talked, talked, talked about everything - which is what led us to seek out other polys. We knew what we wanted but not how to "present" it to the world. It was satisfying to find others with like mind and better yet, living the life.

Absolutely being poly reqires a very special relationship, especially for a married couple with children.

CeraMae rant away - sometimes we just need to let it all out with others that understand. Personally I think raising my ds in a poly family is wonderful. He has a network (daddies or aunties or whatever) of people he knows he can rely on. I wonder what Hillary Clinton thinks about the village raising my child.
post #6 of 10
5/4/03 at 12:03pm
I don't know anyone poly who DOESN'T like to talk. Probably a good thing, given how important communication is in poly relationships. The thing I worry about the most is my kids having to put up with people freaking out over it, even people that wouldn't blink if a kid has two mommies will trip out at the very idea of a kid has two mommies and a daddy under the same roof, kwim?

I even run into a lot of poly's who think poly and kids don't mix, which I find very perplexing--probably because many of my ideas around what poly can be came from reading Robert A. Heinlein, and pretty much all the poly families found in his stories have lots of kids.
post #7 of 10
5/6/03 at 4:36pm
"I even run into a lot of poly's who think poly and kids don't mix"

Yes, I have occassionally run into this too. My hubby was dating a couple that would only see him if their kids were occupied elsewhere and no chance of running into them. He was uncomfortable by all that and decided to move on.

I love hearing the success stories of other parents who's kids are perfectly comfortable with their mommies or daddies.
post #8 of 10
5/6/03 at 6:04pm

I think poly means strong self-confidence

I'm not poly but I was reading this thread and had a thought.
I understand that poly relationships require a lot of good communication between partners, but I think that poly people must essentially be very confident, secure people with a good self-esteem, more than anything else. I think that what makes me monogamous and not poly is that my self-confidence is not so strong that I can accept not being the one and only 'apple of my dh's eye'.
I just wanted to say that I think being poly implies self-confidence, because it means that you are so sure of loving yourself that its okay for your partner to be intimate with other people (on whatever level) without you feeling like someone has invaded your own intimacy?
I don't know, maybe I should have read more poly threads before posting. Maybe my thoughts are a bit too elementary to be discussed here.
post #9 of 10
5/6/03 at 6:39pm
Thread Starter 
To me confidence is a big part of it. Being confident in myself, yes, but most importantly being confident in the fact that my DH does love me and our marriage. Poly is loving "in addition to" not instead of. I think a lot of people confuse that fact. I for one feel like that I am blessed that I get to love and be loved by more than one person. And me doing so does not mean that I love my DH any less.
post #10 of 10
5/7/03 at 10:42am
Couldn't have said it better myself.

Yes there is an aspect of self-confidence but there is also needs to be confidence or trust in your partners as well.
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