Baby shower for baby 2+?

[Momto1and1ontheway]

Okay, so I'm just curious to get others' opinions on this. I have never been to a shower for someone for whom this isn't the 1st baby, but I have heard of them. Two of my friends (on separate occasions) have mentioned throwing me a baby shower (this is #2 for us). I feel weird allowing it, but if it's a boy, I have nothing..... Is it selfish to have more than one shower (if not having multiples of many years between kids). I'd just like to get your opinions before I go thru/nix the idea.

Thanks!

[nitareality]

I personally would turn it down. I think it's more than fine to accept gifts (like I know my Mom and MIL will still be showering us with things) but an actual shower seems like a request for gifts. I think if they offer, try to steer them in the direction of a casual get together, but not phrase it as a shower? A sibling celebration?

[Throkmorton]

My mom has already made noise about having a shower/meet the baby party after this one is born. She (and everyone else) know that the only thing I have left from DS's babyhood is about 3 blankets.
Of course, my first shower consisted of my mom and her 3 friends giving me a shower because all of my friends have moved away.

[LuckyMommaToo]

I'd allow a casserole shower (where everyone brings a dish you can freeze), but that's all. Or a strict no-gifts luncheon with my close girlfriends.

My close friends/family will send gifts after this little one arrives.

I do believe every baby should be celebrated, but personally I was hardly comfortable with a shower for no. 1. I'd be too uncomfortable. But that's just me.

-Erin

[ellymay]

I only had one for my first but that was it.

[lisap]

I thought a shower for baby #2 and so on was tacky, but I've come to realize every baby needs a celebration.

We're having a celebration after the baby is born, if anyone wants to bring gifts they are welcome. But it's not going to be expected.

[Throkmorton]

Depending on the distance between babies, a shower for a second baby is perfectly ok, even in etiquette books. For example, my SIL just had a new baby. Her DS is 7, my brother's DS is 5. In that situation, it is acceptable to have a second shower because they have obviously gotten rid of everything baby-related in their lives.

[Peppamint]

Hmm, I was given a shower with #1 by family but with #2 my playgroup mommy friends threw me a "mom's dinner out" surprise shower which was soooo sweet! I don't think I'll have any kind of shower this time except what the playgroup mommies pull off which is fine with me... although I'd love a bunch of Target or Amazon.com giftcards so I can buy the expensive carseats I want and a decent stroller for when I don't use my pouch carriers.

I kinda think if you don't feel bad about it and your friends want to host it, why not? If you're not comfortable and your friends offer again, maybe you could request that they coordinate a welcome baby party after the baby comes.

eta: everything I registered for is a big ticket item because I have all the little stuff already. I'd feel bad asking anyone but family to buy anything on it and don't really expect that anyone will... just hoping for gift cards to make the expense easier. Ya know, things like an infant carrier because my newbors are too small to look safe in convertible seats at first, a convertible seat for when baby is bigger, a stroller and a glider/ottoman- I've never had one but would love one!

[ChattyCat]

Go for it! I think casseroles, diapers (disposable or cloth) and clothes (if you haven't had a baby of that gender) are great 2nd baby shower gifts. If people don't want to participate, they either won't come or won't bring a gift (although I think that's unlikely).

I'm kind I'm probably going to have at least one shower this time around. With our first, we lived far away from family, and the wives of guys in dh's squadron threw me a small shower. This time we live near a lot of family, and I have a pretty cool playgroup. Now, I'm not expecting anything. But, my step-MIL loves any excuse to host a party, and I think she'll probably try to organize something, and it seems like the ladies in my playgroup host showers for each other. I'm not sure if I'll get one from either, but I won't turn them down if people offer.

[FireWithin]

I am hoping to have a baby celebration after the baby is born. The focus will be more on the baby though, and not the presents. We didn't have any type of baptism with my first will not have anything for this one. I missed the sense of celebrating my baby's new life that I think would have happened with a formal religious ceremony. I am hoping that a baby celebration party will be the answer. I suspect that we will be getting gifts, but I think I will be stating that it is not necessary.

[Mamabeakley]

I had 4 (eep!) with my first pg'cy. Not my idea - they were a) friends & family, b) a specific group of friends who didn't really know those who came to shower a, c) a work shower and d) a shower thrown by a volunteer board I was on.

I am not expecting any this time! But I will probably have a welcome baby/housewarming type party myself at some point since we are going to move and I know myself - I will nest and so my house will be in the best condition it will ever be in right after the baby is born. I also won't be *surprised* if someone does throw me a shower - or two (sigh.) But really, like someone else said, the only things I *need* are big-ticket items. Like maybe a new car . . . no, not really. But definitely a new infant car seat. Our first was a 3-point and I HATED it and threw it out once DS outgrew it.

[tiffanyrk1786]

We have one for every baby, I think you should celebrate every baby. With #1, it was this HUGE ordeal with more people than were at my wedding, 1/2 of whom I didnt know.... Seriously, there were about 100 people there. We got rid of everything after he turned 1 LOL.. and then when he was 2, our daughter was born.. We did have a shower with her as well (girls are PRAISED in my husbands family.. drives me nuts but thats just how it goes) and this time, we will be having a co-ed bar b q type shower... Our daughter will turn 1, a week before the baby is due, so I feel weird having a baby shower although all my family, all dh's family, and all of the family friends want a girls only type shower, I am going to have a big party type shower..

[luckylady]

my friends are planning on throwing one for us. DD will be 4 when the bean is born, and I only wanted one so I did not keep ANYTHING - and really mean that! So I do not feel uncomfortable about it at all - actually I am excited because I never even knew any of these wonderful women when I was preggo with #1.

[Mom2Adam]

We just held a "party" for my friend who is due in December. It was very cozy (4 moms and her mother). We all brought frozen casserole (and sent them home with her), we shared poems, or words of encouragement, and we had lots of yummy food and dessert.

We also made up a pamper yourself basket that everyone contributed to (which was fun because you don't know what others will bring!) - there was lots of nice chocolate, some lavender oil, teas, bubble bath, lotions, and some books for her 2 yr old.

We loved this idea because we all have 2 yr olds and none of us need anything! and because this celebrates the mother!

Personally, I would really like a blessingway. We are planning a homebirth and I love the idea of knowing my closest friends are encouraging and supporting me.

I've already said no to my family about a "shower". Hopefully they will respect that!

Traci

[NurseLaurie]

I've been invited to 2nd baby showers, and I have never thought "how tacky". I do usually give different gifts though because I figure they have most of what they need. I usually bring a gift certificate for a portrait sitting, a month of mommy and me yoga classes, or gift certs to restaurants that deliver (chinese, pizza, etc..). It seems to me that whether you have one child on the way, or 6 at home already, there are still needs/wants that a new baby creates... and each baby is a celebration in itself (even if its a celebration in hand-me-down clothes).