Cesarean Birth Support Thread November & December 2005 - Page 2

[chantald]

Hi All
Mandalamama: I am so sorry for your loss
We took DD to a cranial sacral Dr for a few months after her long and complicated birth and she sees a chiro on occasion now, as does my son

girlgirlmom: I am so sorry for you loss

? Someone mentioned they were going to ask their Dr about very painful ovulation? Anyone get an answer on that? My ovulation pains are so bad.. I was nearly doubled over the other day... I really don't want to call my Dr unless there is a need. The pain is short lived.. I have it only 1 day.. and not all day, and 2 motrin usually take care of it completely. My periods are not any heavier than they have been since after my first baby... heavier than before I had kids.. :

Chantal

[greenmansions]

Hi all, just checking in. I am now almost 28 weeks along, and hoping to VBAC this time. I am debating changing from an OB to a midwife, and switching hospitals to improve my chances, but it is all up in the air at this point. I am not really hell-bent on experiencing a vaginal birth, but I would really like to avoid the long recovery of a c/s especially since I do not have a good support system here to help me afterwards, plus I can't imagine not picking up my DS for so long after. He will just not understand, and what a way to create jealousy for his new sister when she can be picked up and he can't. Anyway, I hope to have the whole decision of where to birth made in the next several weeks.

Chantal, I always have very painful ovulation - it lasts less than a day but sometimes it hurts so much I can't stand up straight. For me this pain seems to come right when the eggs are popping, based on OPKs I have done in the past. (Like day after the OPK is positive.) It's totally normal, but not everyone gets it. The nice thing about it is if you're TTC, you know exactly when you need to act. Otherwise, it's kind of a hassle. If Motrin works for you, you're lucky - it doesn't help much for me.

[turtlewomyn]

I am six weeks post c/s and while I had been feeling mentally better, I have had a couple of dark days yesterday and today. I had my 6 week check up yesterday, and we talked to the doctor about VBACs. I was told that this practice does do VBACs but only for people who are candidates likely to get one, and since I never did go into labor, I probably am not a likely candidate. I think I had already decided that I would look elsewhere for a VBAC the next time around (probably not for another three years). We had been planning to have two kids, but today I am not sure that I even want to have another one. I didn't enjoy being pregnant (m/s throughout, and problems with breathing and moving around in the third tri - there was just no room for a big baby in there it seems) and then with the c-section (I DO NOT want to go through that again) and the problems I have had with nursing I just feel like I am not built for having babies. This makes me so sad. DH went out of town for work and I promised that I wouldn't sit around and cry, but I am having a tough day.
I think I will strap the munchkin on in her sling and go for a walk, that might help.

[mamabeth]

turtlewomyn...sorry things are rough. six weeks is *not* a long time to "get over" everything and I promise it does get better. I had a very similar experience with my dd three years ago (rough pregnancy, c-section, nursing problems) and did not know if I would want to have another baby. It took two years to be ready to even try, but my 2nd pregnancy was so much better and even though I had another c-sec it was totally different in a good way, and nursing is about a million times easier the 2nd time.

Just wanted to give you some hope...it is still so soon after your birth, mama, take it easy on yourself. I hope the walk with the sling works! Take care.

[chantald]

Hi All
Kristen. I NEVER went into labor with my first child.. I went into labor and labored beautifuly with my second!! Don't let that OB's office policy disuade you from doing what you feel is best.

Greenmansions: Yes.. that is totally me.. sometimes it is so painful I can't stand up straight.. I wonder why I feel it now and not before?? Thanks for the reassurance

Chantal

[wombatclay]

turtlewomyn...give yourself time to recover and heal. Six weeks is a blink of the eye in terms of recovering from major surgery and entering into new mama-hood. Right now just try to take care of yourself (sleep as much as you can, eat well, and drink drink drink to keep your fluid levels up while nursing) and don't worry about the future (I know that's easier said than done!).

And remember, growing a baby and raising a child are skills you learn over time. The problems you've experienced over the past year don't mean you're going to have the same difficulties the next time round! And your feelings are totally normal...ask almost any mama 6 weeks after her first baby is born "so, when's the next one coming along?" and she'll probably answer something along the lines of "are you kidding?!". Take the time you need to heal and enjoy your little one!

[turtlewomyn]

thanks y'all. the walk helped and today i feel better, although last night was rough with the nursing, dd was doing a nurse-a-thon and just constantly at it. she is not gaining weight up to her ped. expectations so i am still dealing with that. perhaps I need to concentrate on that before worrying about a VBAC or any future children

[dlm194]

Kristen ~ Definitely give yourself time! I was only beginning to feel more like myself physically after 6 weeks. I'm so happy to hear of your committment to breastfeeding. My dd nursed constantly for months. I couldn't even run errands b/c it seemed that she wanted to nurse all the time. Having a c-s didn't make it easier of course but statistically, c-s babies are less likely to be breast-fed and I always like beating the stats!! Hang in there!!! You are still very newly post partum. It really does improve.

PS... when you are ready, I have found the vbac forum enlightening and empowering!

[greenmansions]

Hi everyone, Can I just spout for a minute? I so do not want to have another c/s with my new baby. I have been looking into switching providers and hospitals to increase my chances of a successful VBAC. DH however, is not on board with this. He tells me to do what I want, but he thinks I should just schedule another c/s with my current provider and be done with it. I just don't know if I can have a successful VBAC without his support. Part of me is starting to wish he would just stay home with DS, and I go birth this baby with my doula's help at the hospital I want with the provider I want.

That news that came out yesterday about c/s rates being at an all-time high is not helping my case with him - he thinks that if so many are being done there must be a good reason, they must be safe, and he really glommed onto the statistic presented about VBAC rupture rates of 1%. Somehow all the negative things discussed in the article about c/s did not make an impression on him. It bugs me b/c normally he's a very analytical guy and takes in all the facts, but I think emotion is getting in the way of that in this case.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll work this out - we always do - but it just has me very upset the past couple of days.

[Storm Bride]

Maybe you should flat out ask him, in so many words, why his preference is for you to be cut open when that's not what you want? Would it be his preference for you to knifed by a mugger, as opposed to maybe being hit and having your purse taken? (Weird analogy, I know...but that's how I feel about it.)

Also...point out to him that preterm and low birthweight babies are also up. I don't think it's a coincidence. If I hadn't argued for so long against having my last section, they would have cut him out a full three weeks before he actually arrived!! (He was a section, but not until I went into labour.)

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by girligirlmom

Well I am having my first m/c (4th pregnancy) right now so I will not be posting for awhile.

I'm so sorry. Miscarriage is so hard and so many people don't seem to get that it's a major blow.

[greenmansions]

Well, I know a few reasons for DH's preference that I c/s again. One is that he thinks I was in too much pain last time in labor, and when I finally got the epidural I commented on how that was the way to go. He thinks I will cave and get it again, and then end up with a c/s anyway. Note I was in labor for 80 hours, I got the epi after about 55-60 hours of 5-15 minute apart contractions. I think I did pretty darn well waiting that long, and if this birth is anything closer to "normal" length, then I should be able to take it.

He also thinks that it will be easier on everyone, still worried about who is going to watch DS if things drag out again and who would help us while I recover if I end up in a c/s unplanned. He also thinks my OB will do what's best for me, let me labor or push a c/s if it's warranted. I think she will push a c/s before I am ready to consider one, or before it's medically necessary.

Anyway, like I said this will all settle out. I just wish I had his clear support and his usual rational perspective.

[Storm Bride]

Well, I don't know how you coped with your c-section, emotionally. I think that if my dh suggested that I opt for an "elective" repeat, I'd smack him. But, I also know that, for whatever reasons, I cope with it really badly on a psychological level.

And, you could mention to him that I had my third one this summer. Everything feels weird, compared to my first two. The numbness is over a larger area, my bladder sensation is still not back (3.5 months and counting), the incision got infected...it's been pretty unpleasant. And, all three of my recoveries have been different. If he's counting on the easier time of it that women supposedly have if they don't labour first...the one time I did that (my second) was my most traumatic emotionally, and the only time I've had scar pain that last beyond the six weeks...for about 6-8 months, in fact.

Feel free to disregard my above post...I'm having a very down, angry and bitter week.

[mighty-mama]

Hi Mama's. I keep forgetting to post here. No issues here, just wondering why my c/s scar is fading faster than all these stretch marks.... ahh..** actually I know the reason, it's my cheap irish skin...

also started noticing I'm getting more sensation back around incision site. I'm 7 1/2 mths post-op..

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by turtlewomyn

thanks y'all. the walk helped and today i feel better, although last night was rough with the nursing, dd was doing a nurse-a-thon and just constantly at it. she is not gaining weight up to her ped. expectations so i am still dealing with that. perhaps I need to concentrate on that before worrying about a VBAC or any future children

Hi there. Your dd is probably building up the milk supply, they do this at 2 weeks, 4,(in preparation for the 6 wk growth spurt) 8-10 and thereabouts in prep for the 3 mo growth spurt. They will slow down when the amount increases, and it will. I wouldn't go to the ped quite so often, maybe you have another person who is more bf friendly? Or a lactation consultant? Sounds like you are perfectly normal, and the baby is too. Sometimes it takes awhile for the milk supply to really get going good, because you might be sensitive from the surgery. Keep drinking lots of fluids, and rest, and let the baby get the hindmilk(the fatty part after the first 5 min or so...) Hope that helps.

[SneakyPie]

I posted this at the very end of the Oct thread (on Nov 2!) but am posting it again here in the hopes that an unexpectedly positive c-birth story will hearten those perhaps facing their first c-birth (maybe with as much fear as I felt)
.
I am amazed I ended up feeling great about our son's cesaerean birth, but I totally do. For me the reason for trying for homebirth was mainly that I am totally terrified of being in a hospital at all, so when a homebirth midwife fired me as a patient at 11w because of 1 HBP reading (induced by her insistence on using a too-small cuff) and said I would HAVE to have this baby in a hospital & probably go on BP meds for the rest of my life, I FLIPPED. Like realizing that had I known I might birth in a hospital I never would have conceived flipped.

Well, that was going to get me nowhere. Eventually I calmed down, found a better midwife who used the right size BP cuff, & had an uneventful pregnancy. But I realized I had better get myself together in case I did somehow end up in the hospital. I made friends w/several NP midwives, went to a homeopath to find my global remedy, saw a hypnotherapist, & went back to my regular therapist for several sessions. I made sure I had massages & adjustments, & did all the exercises in "Birthing from Within." I read every word on plus-sizepregnancy.com. I started maternity leave a few weeks early. I had a consult w/the birth-friendly OB lady who consults w/the homebirth midwives in our area, & toured that hospital w/nurses who teased me kindly about my hospital fears and pretended to beg me to consider birthing with them. And at 39w3d, dilated 2cm effaced 50%, I had a *really* high BP spike. With terror in my heart we had to go to the hospital for an induction -- where we were treated like royalty, apparently how they try to treat all the mothers who planned homebirth.

Long story longer, labor did go well & fast (got to use a tub in the birthsuite), but a pushing-stage emergency necessitated surgery. Great nursing support, the midwife stayed in surg w/me while husband accompanied son to nursery, great support for our decisions to keep foreskin, delay HebB vax, bring procedures to our room rather than remove babe. I grew a lot during this experience & wish that every woman who is unexpectedly faced w/a surgical birth could receive this level of care, in every sense. I truly feel my son was *born*, and that his birth was attended w/love.

(Oh, the best thing was having my best friend tape the post-birth nursery stuff while I was in recovery, so I missed nothing. She also "interviewed" our families in the waiting room during surg. so we can watch that tape & feel their love & concern while we went through what truly was a big scary thing for us all.)

[turtlewomyn]

Originally Posted by cathicog

Hi there. Your dd is probably building up the milk supply, they do this at 2 weeks, 4,(in preparation for the 6 wk growth spurt) 8-10 and thereabouts in prep for the 3 mo growth spurt. They will slow down when the amount increases, and it will. I wouldn't go to the ped quite so often, maybe you have another person who is more bf friendly? Or a lactation consultant? Sounds like you are perfectly normal, and the baby is too. Sometimes it takes awhile for the milk supply to really get going good, because you might be sensitive from the surgery. Keep drinking lots of fluids, and rest, and let the baby get the hindmilk(the fatty part after the first 5 min or so...) Hope that helps.

Thanks, she is 6 weeks, I figured that was what she was doing (esp. since things were so screwed up in the beginning with c/s, tongue tie, bad advice from doctors, etc.). I am in close contact with a couple of lac consultants. She doesn't have another doctor's appointment for two weeks when she has her 2 month well baby check up. If they are still pushy about the weight issue I will probably switch pediatricians. I might go have her weighed with the lac. consultants in the meantime, for my peace of mind, and also to have them check the latch, and also because they tend to tell me I am doing a good job, where the doctor is just concerned about the weight issue and thinks I should supplement or pump and feed (although after I told her I was working with the LC's and they said not to she backed off).

[dlm194]

Originally Posted by greenmansions

Hi everyone, Can I just spout for a minute? I so do not want to have another c/s with my new baby. I have been looking into switching providers and hospitals to increase my chances of a successful VBAC. DH however, is not on board with this. He tells me to do what I want, but he thinks I should just schedule another c/s with my current provider and be done with it. I just don't know if I can have a successful VBAC without his support. Part of me is starting to wish he would just stay home with DS, and I go birth this baby with my doula's help at the hospital I want with the provider I want.

I totally relate to this! My dh was NO help whatsoever during my labor. First, he fell asleep while I was laboring. Then he took off to find friends in the hospital who delivered 2 days before me. He wasn't there when the doctor came in an announced c-s. I didn't see him again until I was strapped down on the operating table. I would seriously rather he stayed home for the next birth.

Sorry... I guess that sounds really bitter! I want someone there who really believes in me. Not someone going along until the almighty doctor tells me I need a c-s.

[greenmansions]

Sorry to hear aobut your DH. Mine was actually very good and helpful during my labor with DS. I am just worried about him giving up too soon/giving into the doctors this time/pressuring me etc. given he doesn't want to do the VBAC in the first place.

I just found out the 2004 statistic for the c/s rate at the hospital I birthed DS at (in that year) - it's a whopping 37.6%!!!! I and a few of my girlfriends are part of that number. Unbelievable. Wish I'd known then what I know (and am still learning) now... The hospital I hope to switch to had a 2004 rate of about 19%, lowest in our region, and still not low enough IMO.

[rachelsmama]

I totally understand about the husband issue. I've outright banned mine from any future deliveries. Of course, after he said that he couldn't watch me go through labour or surgery again it was a simple matter of agreeing and telling him he is in charge of our daughter during any future labours.