Cesarean Birth Support Thread November & December 2005 - Page 5

[nfpmom]

Beth,
(Hi! Good to "see" you) that is awesome you got to hold your baby in the OR. I wish I had remembered to do that.
Another thing that helped me feel better about my 2nd CS (CBAC) was that I had DH film it. It really helped to see the film of my baby coming out of my body... to see the actual moment of her emergence. <teary eyes>

[mamabeth]

Another "tip"....don't let the anesthesiologist film the birth. Ours didn't press the right button. We got plenty of great shots though.

[BensMom]

I love the pics of my DD coming out of me. DH was clicking away and the anesthesiologist was telling him to slow down and wait for the baby. But I am glad DH listened to me and not him - you can see one leg, a butt, a back and then finally her whole body.

[Mom_on_the_move]

doula at a c/s birth

Hi everyone!

I was wondering about the use of a doula during a c/s birth. If you had one, what did you find helpful? What was the doula's role? We are considering having a doula at our birth, and I have a feeling that it will really make a difference, but I was wondering about others' experiences. Also, I was told that the anestesiologist is the one who gets to decide whether or not the doula is allowed in the OR... does this sound correct?

Thanks for your input!

Amy

[SneakyPie]

In our case our homebirth midwife became our doula once we had hospital transfer. It was our OB who had a say over who came into the OR with us -- but both our OB lady & our anesthesiologist guy are hip to homebirth & midwives, so they are used to OR midwives & doulas. I labored & pushed before surgery so our midwife/doula helped me through that; but she also was great during application of the epidural, and reassuring me while it really took effect (I couldn't feel myself breathing & needed reassurance that I wasn't dying!). She also made sure my big-guy husband was given appropriately sized scrubs, helped him know where to stand, held BOTH our hands, gave us commentary when we wanted it (watching the actual surgery was too intense for us). On the way to recovery she signaled our families that everyone was OK; she also acted as "gopher" while we started nursing in recovery and even kindly fetched my husband a sandwich (which I jealously longed for -- I didn't know you can't eat right after surgery!). Your doula will have her own suggestions, but I say it was TOTALLY worth it -- you & your partner can focus completely on the birth & new baby, she can be a guide through unfamiliar surgical territory, & partner can have his/her own bonding process without having to be photographer or errand-runner.

[BensMom]

I think a doula would be great for a c/s. But in our area, its tough to get that second person in. I was not "allowed" in for my client who was going back to a c/s after a long day of laboring. It sucked, and I suppose if she advocated enough, she might have gotten me back, but she was pretty tired.

For my own planned c/s, I did not have my doula or MW come because I knew there would be a good chance that they would not be allowed back, and I didnt want them to make arrangements and then just sit around all day. As it was, we were in a tiny OR, so I bet it would have been a battle.

That said, once the baby was born, DH went with her to the recovery room and I was all alone. It was 20 mins or so, but since we forgot our MP3 player, I was bored. I tried chatting with the Dr and the anestesiologist, but having someone I *knew* would have been nice.

I hear the line all the time that the anesthesiologist makes the call. Which sucks, cause its not like you know who that will be, so you cant check ahead of time.

[wombatclay]

The hospital I used only allowed one additional "support" person to be in the OR during a c/s. Althoug my dh went with our dd to the recovery room while I was being attended to, the doula was still not allowed into the OR. She was a great help during the actual labor process, but after the decision was made to go with a c/s she was essentailly out of the picture. Not that I really minded...she'd been helping me for over 19 hours and she deserved a break!

So check with hospital policy...it may be better to spend your money on a doula who will attend to you after you've delivered, rather than at the hospital.

[greenmansions]

We had the same experience where only one person was allowed into the OR with me. My doula had to wait outside. If I were to schedule a c/s I would not get a doula, I don't really see the point I guess. (Maybe someone can enlighten me as to what a doula would do during a c/s?) I think it would be money better spent elsewhere, like a postpartum doula as suggested above.

One other thing to consider: My dad was surgeon and did a lot of c/s over the years in the rural hospital where he worked. He was opposed to "extra" people in the OR because each additional person brought in more germs. He felt that could increase the risk of infection for the patient. Not sure if that has been borne out in any kind of studies, but it does make sense.

[Mom_on_the_move]

Thanks for your replies and inputs. I am hopeful that the hospital will at least let a doula in the OR if/when my husband takes the baby to the OR. I know with our last birth that was tough for me to be in the OR unsupported. I also know that it would be helpful to have someone to help if my husband has an extended stay in the nursery with the baby, as occured withour last birth. The nurses did what they could, but I was alone, wondering what was going on with my baby, a lot of the time. Is this more a function for a post-partum doula?

Thanks again!

Amy

[mamabeth]

I wouldn't hire a doula for a planned c-section...but a pp doula would be great. My mom came right after the birth and stayed with me while dh did other stuff, paperwork, took the placenta to the car so I wasn't by myself. She also stayed with me when dh when home. It really stinks to be by yourself after a c-sect for any length of time, IMO, even if your nurses are awesome.

We did have a doula but she couldn't attend the birth anyway because of child care...which was fine, because the only time I sort of missed having someone was when I was being sewed up and just bored, not freaked out or anything because I had held the baby, who was fine, and dh went with him to give his bath and all that stuff. So I just chatted with the nurses.

[SneakyPie]

You know this part will be luck of the draw, but my anesthesiologist seriously was acting like a doula during our birth, before & during surgery. He was v upbeat & encouraging but also acted like it was the biggest unique thrill to be attending *our* birth; he was really helpful while putting in the epidural; he kept me warm; he knew my husband didn't want to see blood so helped him stay clear of the sight; he was quiet at the moment of birth (as were the other staff) and seemed so excited for us about our son; he even noticed during stitch-time that my lips were chapped and put some lanolin on them (he carried a *supply* of sample tubes for new nursing mothers)! He even ran -- ran -- to see us once we were all back on the ward, complimented us on how well he thought we handled emergency c-birth, and brought my husband pillows & coffee from the nurses' station, unasked.

This is all too specific to our situation to help in your decision, but yesterday was our son's first birthday so your question had me remembering our good fortune.

[Mom_on_the_move]

I found your comments about your c/s very interesting. Happy birthday to your little one! Our first was also an emergency c/s, and it was a very positive experience. I found the staff to be very helpful, and many of the things we are now fighting for with a planned c/s, and did not get with our second, seemed to just be given to us (such as our daughter staying in the OR with us). I have seen many comments about positive emergency c/s. I wonder if staff typically has a different attitude when the c/s is not planned? Just a thought.

Anyway, we are going to be meeting with some doulas to see what they have to say about their support role during a c/s. They said that they can make a difference.

Thanks again for all of your comments!

Amy

[turtlewomyn]

Having to Explain My C-section

I peek in here but haven't posted much because I am trying not to dwell too much on the c-section I had two months ago. I am also trying to refrain from researching VBACs until I am ready to get pregnant again. I am just trying to enjoy my beautiful daughter.

Well, last night I went to a LLL meeting at the hospital and at first was lost and went to the cafeteria where I ran into two other moms who were lost too. We sat and nursed and talked and I found myself telling my story (past due and not progressing toward labor, U/S showed 9lb10oz baby with lots of fluid, evil "med"wife told us to do c-section over the phone, we resisted and went into see doctor and had everything explained to us - suspected missed GD, lots of pressure from the family, scheduled the c-section 10 days past her due date hoping she would come out, but she didn't, she was born with large head, chest and 9lbs8.5oz). Then, while we were sitting there a pregnant woman came in to use the vending machine - she had been on the hospital tour. She looked over at us nursing and said "how nice" then asked if we had delivered there and I told her I had. She asked how I liked it and I made a face and told her I had a c-section. I told her the quick and dirty version of it and she said to me "You know you didn't need to have a c-section." Uh, gee thanks a lot. I know that when we made the decision I felt that it was the correct one, even though I felt crappy about the whole thing. The farther I get from it though, the more I doubt. My fantasy is that I VBAC a huge baby the next time, over an intact perinium and then I will write to the medwife and doctors involved about how they should be more careful about recommending major surgery unnessesarily. It pissed me off that this woman said this to me. I wonder if it was her first child. I know when I was pregnant I was a bit smug when I heard about women having c-sections for "failure to progress" type of reasons. I would think that it would never happen to me (I was taking hypnobirthing and feeling confident in my body's ability to birth my baby, until of course I was told that I couldn't). I sometimes wonder if the universe punished me for that smugness by giving me a c-section.

[gethane]

The thing is, its SO easy for others to say what you should or shouldn't do. But YOU are the one that have to make the decision about your baby's safety and health and your own.

I question whether my first c-section was necessary (which necessitated my 2nd, and soon to be my 3rd). But it was 14.5 years ago. At the time, I really had no ability to know anything other than what the doctor told me.

If women want to blame other women for possibly unnecessary c-sections, they are blaming the victims. It's the doctors who they should blame. But they blame the victim instead, so they can say to themselves, "Oh, that would NEVER happy to me because of x, y, and z."

[BensMom]

Oh, I totally understand where you are coming from! I am a doula, active in our birth network, had planned a homebirth and was very vocal about why we were going that route. Then I ended up with a breech baby and had a c/s. But I almost feel like I need to explain myself. I didnt just discover the breech and reserve the OR. I feel like I fought as much as I could, even to the point of finding an OB who would deliver her vaginally (a very rare find in this city). I did *every* turning technique I could. Nothing worked. And then she went postdates and my OB was going out of town for the holiday and we were worried about her getting too big (DS was 9+lbs) and it all came crashing down. I was backed into a corner and went ahead and scheduled the c/s. And of course now that I know she was only 7lbs7oz, I can do all of the Monday Morning Quarterbacking in the world. What if I had waited...What if I just came in almost complete, would the backup OB have delivered her? So many doubts and questions.

And yes, I feel like I let down the world because now all of my mainstream friends just know...she planned a homebirth and ended up with a c/s...so goes birth. And everyone continues to fear birth and think that hospitals are the only way to go. Ugh.

I am trying to channel my experience for the positive, by trying to share how much the c/s recovery *sucks* compared to vaginal...hoping it makes my case more convincing for those mainstream friends on why they should become informed on ways to avoid an unnecessary c/s. Who knows.

But yes, I know how you feel. Its like I want to say, I had a c/s, BUT.....

[dlm194]

Originally Posted by SneakyPie

but she also was great during application of the epidural, and reassuring me while it really took effect (I couldn't feel myself breathing & needed reassurance that I wasn't dying!).

I was so grateful to have my midwife in my surgery for this reason! My labor nurse was worthless. I didn't even know her name. My midwife stayed by my side the entire time I had the c-s. I went into a major panic when I couldn't feel myself breathing and started trying to thrash around (which didn't work with my arms strapped down). Luckily, she assured me that my pulsox was 99 and it was just the anesthesia. I definitely intend to have a midwife there if I should need a c-s next time.

Kristen ~ I'm sorry someone said something so awful to you!!! How did she know your reasons for a c-s??? Hindsight is so 20-20. I think it's perfectly natural to question yourself on the way things turned out but to have someone else throw a judgement at you is uncalled for. I'd like to slap that woman upside the head. I went to 1 LLL meeting in my town. I have no idea how we got on the subject of birth but I somehow mentioned my c-s to the woman sitting next to me. of course she went on (rather snooty, I might add) about how she had a really long labor too and thank heavens she was a birth center b/c she would have been a c-s for sure in a hospital. It was a total "I didn't have a c-s because I toughed it out and made better birth choices so you didn't need to have one" attitude. I never went back to one of those meetings which is a shame b/c they were a very supportive group but such is life. I live in a new town now and heard that the LLL group here is great. I will probably start going if we decide to have another baby.

[nfpmom]

I'll admit it, before I had any children I would pick apart other people's birth stories to see where they went wrong to end up with a c-section.

Then I ended up with a CS for CPD/FTP/fetal distress for a 9 lb 4 oz posterior baby. So then I was embarrassed but I blamed it all on the OB... if he had just given me more time and not given me pitocin after I stalled out at 5 cm for 12 hours... surely I would have birthed this baby! (CS was done at 8 cm)
After all, BIRTH WORKS.

So then I got pregnant again and planned a homebirth VBAC. Because if I could just get out of the evil hospital environment then all would be well... and other moms planning VBACs just need to trust their bodies and believe that birth works and avoid the evil hospital and all the OBs that are out to get them and they too can have successful VBACs... I ended up with a hospital transport after pushing for many hours at home with no descent... and eventually ended up with another CS for CPD (9 lb posterior baby)... after being completely dilated (with an on again-off again lip) for about 14 hours.

No one believed they could VBAC more than I did... it was a DONE DEAL.
Now I have 2 scars... and you know what? The lightbulb went on for me. Sometimes sh*t happens, and sometimes you get screwed for none other than bad luck... and you can want and believe and trust all you can, and it still might not work out.

Now I have a lot more understanding and compassion for moms who end up with c-sections. I didn't want to be in this club, God knows... but here I am and it has been a very humbling experience.

ETA: I too have been on the receiving end of people picking apart my birth stories. Even this last one, where I had pushed for so long... people still think I could have vaginally birthed this baby had I just kept on pushing...
Knowing how prolonged 2nd stage can increase UR risk, I now believe that this was not the best choice I made, ultimately.

take care

[turtlewomyn]

Thanks guys! My husband kind of "yelled" at me this morning for dwelling on what some stranger said. I also emailed my doula about it, and she told me not to let a stranger make me feel bad. She also had told me that everything happens for a reason, and while I thought I was knowledgeable and a strong believer in natural birth the c-section has made me more so. I really feel there is something wrong with the system because there are so many people out there who end up with c-sections, but it isn't our fault!!!

Bensmom - good for you for telling people that the recovery for a c-section sucks. My SIL had two vaginal and one c-section (the doctor was afraid she would end up with fecal incontinence and need a colostomy bag because she tore so bad with the first two) and she says that the c-section was the best, but she stayed in bed for two weeks while my MIL took care of the baby (DH's family are big formula feeders). I have also had women who have only had c-sections tell me that they are better - as if they would know, and one moron told me that I wouldn't have wanted to tear "all the way to my shoulder blades." by vaginally birthing a large baby. I didn't know if she was ignorant and actually thought you could tear to the shoulder blades (she isn't very bright) or if she was trying to make her point.

Anyway, I need to quit talking to random strangers about my c/s and why I had to have it. I have this beautiful baby and as far as they are concerned, they really don't need to know how she got here.

[BensMom]

Am I just a wuss or what?

I am almost 3 weeks post-op, and I still feel like crap! I am so not used to this. I am usually the type to bounce right back from things, I expected to be feeling much better by now. Every time I wake up feeling ok, I think I end up doing too much (and by too much, I mean going up and down the stairs a few times, driving 5 mins to get DS from school...we're not talking marathons here). And then I feel like crap all evening, with pain every time I stand up.

So when did you start to feel like you can ease back into your lives without being in terrible pain by evening? When will I feel ok running a few errands (in and out of the car) or even walking around the block for exercise?

(I am also still draining from my incision, which is a whole 'nother rant in itself. No signs of infection, but annoying nonetheless.)

[turtlewomyn]

Bensmom - of course you feel like crap! You had major surgery three weeks ago! At that time I frequently had to lie down because my incision site was hurting by the end of the day - and from what I can tell I have had a pretty easy recovery compared to most. Around six weeks I felt better. Now at nine and a half weeks it only hurts when dd kicks me there.