lesbian mums ttc or pregnant roll call - Page 5

[megan sacha]

Congratulations Susan!

Becky, thanks for the well wishes. We're headed in this AM for a beta....wish us luck!

[PixelDust]

Good luck!

[MichelleW]

Good luck Megan & Sacha!

Congrats Susan! :

Just an update, we are on cycle 3 of inseminations, and will inseminate next Monday. If this one doesn't work, we'll need to get more sperm.:

HOw's everyone else who's trying doing?

Any weird suggestions at this point? I think I've got the basics covered, at least regarding not doing Kegel's, and eating grapefruit & pineapple at the appropriate times...

[Jwebbal]

Last cycle I ended up getting pregnant but not knowing it. Seems sort of impossible for lesbians right? Wrong. I bled for three days starting at day 11, so thought I wasn't pregnant. Then they said I had a cyst, so no ttc that month, then at day 38 I was concerned the cyst was keeping my period from starting so I talked to the doctor who gave me meds to get it started. I ended up starting before I took them and then when they did my day 3 ultrasound the doctor discovered a fetus in my uterus! I was 10 weeks pregnant, but it stopped developing at 8. So after waiting a bit, I ended up doing a D and C. I am on a break, and once I start my period I can start trying again. They did a miscarriage work up, so we will find out if they find anything, this makes two miscarriages now since starting ttc in November.

[lexbeach]

Jwebbal. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope it was your last one, and that you get a sticky babe growing inside of you SOON!

Originally Posted by MichelleW

Just an update, we are on cycle 3 of inseminations, and will inseminate next Monday. If this one doesn't work, we'll need to get more sperm.:

Any weird suggestions at this point? I think I've got the basics covered, at least regarding not doing Kegel's, and eating grapefruit & pineapple at the appropriate times...

It sounds like from your post that you are only doing one insemination per month? I would definitely suggest that you do at least two, even if you are doing IUI. It will drastically increase your chances for success. Also, how do you know that you will inseminate next Monday? I hope that is just a guess, and that you are using ovulation predictors of some kind. Do you have the book, "The Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth"? It's a must-have, IMO, and really helped us get pregnant both times. I hope this is your lucky cycle!!

Lex

[frog]

Lex, I just now requested that book from the library. Here's hoping it works as well for us as it did for you!

[MichelleW]

for JoAnne

Thanks Lex. It will probably be next Monday, as my cycles are fairly regular -- with my O-ing on CD14 or CD15.
I have tried to talk my partner into having us do 2 vials/month, but he's (my partner is an FTM) not so for that. I've explained that it has a higher chance of working, but not only did the nurse at the clinic say they only do 1/month, but,at this point, as we only have 1 vial left, it would have to be 1 this month.

It is kinda frustrating for me. I hate arguing with the nurses/doctors who supposedly know better. Grrrrrr....

Oh, and yes, I own that book. And the other one too -- trying to remember if that is the Toevs & Brill book, or the Rachel Pepper book. I should note that both books are problematic, whether it is the way they talk to their audience (Pepper seems to write more for single lesbians, or lesbians with partners who don't necessarily want to parent, and Toevs and Brill make some interesting comments about lesbians having longer labour due to the fact that lesbians are used to going against the status quo, and thus not giving in to labour -- or something like that. There's more too. I don't want to say that people shouldn't refer to these books at all, just to take it all with a grain of salt. Obviously if some people find them useful, they've got some good stuff going for them. And the more than 1 insemination is one that has worked for many people -- it's a fight I continue to battle in my relationship & with the clinic.)
Sorry for my wee rant.

: for everyone still trying

[frog]

I'm reading a bunch of stuff, and trying very hard to take what's good and leave the rest behind.

Yay library!

[lexbeach]

Originally Posted by MichelleW

Oh, and yes, I own that book. And the other one too -- trying to remember if that is the Toevs & Brill book, or the Rachel Pepper book. I should note that both books are problematic, whether it is the way they talk to their audience (Pepper seems to write more for single lesbians, or lesbians with partners who don't necessarily want to parent, and Toevs and Brill make some interesting comments about lesbians having longer labour due to the fact that lesbians are used to going against the status quo, and thus not giving in to labour -- or something like that. There's more too. I don't want to say that people shouldn't refer to these books at all, just to take it all with a grain of salt. Obviously if some people find them useful, they've got some good stuff going for them. And the more than 1 insemination is one that has worked for many people -- it's a fight I continue to battle in my relationship & with the clinic.)

I don't think I even read anything from the Toevs and Brill book about pregnancy/birth, but I found the fertility, and insemination-timing information to be the most comprehensive of any of the "donor insemination" or "lesbian conception" books. I thought the Rachel Pepper book was completely useless and not at all helpful.

Why doesn't your partner want to do more than one insemination a month? If it's for financial reasons, I would suggest you do two inseminations every other month, and take every other month off. The friends I have who have done only one insemination a month have taken a year or longer (or ended up doing IVF) before they got pregnant. Show him the studies, I bet you would save money in the long run. And if your nurse will not do more than one insemination a month, I'd look for a different clinic, they obviously aren't up on the info. where you're going!

Hopefully, none of this will matter, and you'll conceive your precious babe this month anyway!



Lex

[MichelleW]

Thanks, Lex!
In terms of clinics, there are only 2 in Vancouver, 3 in British Columbia. I will take your info to my partner. He said he wanted to try a couple only 1/month, and then maybe more. So, yeah, while it hopefully works this month, I am hoping that if it doesn't that we can start doing more than 1 a month, and maybe go at it every couple of months.
I know that both books are well-respected in particular groups, and not well liked in others. I was figuring people would take stuff with a grain of salt, but from talking with other queer couples who've read one or the other, it seems cause we are trying really hard, that we also listen to stuff even though it doesn't make sense to -- which can even be me doing only 1 insem/month. Grrrr...

In any case, I am glad we have each other as resources too!
take care!

[mamimapster]

Originally Posted by MichelleW

Good luck Megan & Sacha!

Congrats Susan! :

Just an update, we are on cycle 3 of inseminations, and will inseminate next Monday. If this one doesn't work, we'll need to get more sperm.:

HOw's everyone else who's trying doing?

Any weird suggestions at this point? I think I've got the basics covered, at least regarding not doing Kegel's, and eating grapefruit & pineapple at the appropriate times...

I am so clueless!
Why no kegels? Please explain the grapefruit & pineapple???

[mamimapster]

Oh yeah, BTW we had two IUI's on 5&6 so I'm in the 2WW: : !!!!

[lunadoula]

JoAnne. I'm so sorry. I hope you are doing ok.

We're gearing up for try #2 next Wed. and Thursday. : : to us all!

[MichelleW]

re: Kegels
apparently doing Kegels after insemination can actually push the sperm out. Kegels is good before, to try to produce some EWCM, but not-so-good after.

Pineapple & grapefruit:
not sure really, besides I've heard grapefruit (& green tea) is good to help produce EWCM and somehow helps promote ovulation. Pineapple is supposed to somehow help implantation. I think it is the particular type of acid in it, but I'm not sure.

: for everyone trying this month -- here's to more of of becoming queer parents!!!

[tuck]

I'm wondering about the pineapple....I was told that , too, when I asked what I could do. I was also told acupuncture may help. So I ate many a pineapple, only to have my acupuncturist tell me to avoid that and other cold foods. She said avoid salads, etc. and eat warm foods as much as possible- curry and other spices. It was her advice that warm foods relax the body, nurture, etc....anybody?

[lexbeach]

Originally Posted by lberk

I'm wondering about the pineapple....I was told that , too, when I asked what I could do. I was also told acupuncture may help. So I ate many a pineapple, only to have my acupuncturist tell me to avoid that and other cold foods. She said avoid salads, etc. and eat warm foods as much as possible- curry and other spices. It was her advice that warm foods relax the body, nurture, etc....anybody?

The thing about pineapple (and it's only in FRESH pineapple) is that is has an enzyme in it (bromelain or something like that) that helps with implantation. You can also purchase the enzyme in tablet form (helpful if you don't like pineapple or if fresh pineapple is hard to come by), or take a baby aspirin everyday which is said to do the same thing (though in a much less natural way).

It is generally good not to eat anything frozen when you're ttc (i.e. no ice cream), but it really depends on what your individual issues are regarding other less extremely cold foods. One common cause of infertility is referred to in Traditional Chinese Medicine terms as "cold uterus." People who are generally cold (have cold feet, cold hands, get cold easily) should definitely avoid all "cold" foods, make sure to wear warm socks, sleep with a hot water bottle (this was me while ttc), etc. But another common cause is excess heat, in which case eating hot, spicy foods would not be recommended. So, warm/cold issues are not universal. A great book that describes all of these different conditions is "The Infertility Cure." It definitely changed the way I was looking at my fertility.

My acupuncturist wanted me to work really hard at staying warm (soak my feet in hot water 5 times a day, etc.), but she still recommended pineapple. I must've eaten four whole pineapples during the two week wait the cycle I got pregnant. It was just too yummy, and I wasn't letting myself eat any other sweets, so that made it even yummier.

Lex

[mamimapster]

LOL! I hadn't read these posts when I ate pineapple for breakfast and homemade curry for dinner! I don't know if I'm cold or hot though!: OK, for you already-been-preg mamas did you get post-o or implantation spotting and when? i've had spotting/cramping today, and I'm only two days post IUI, I suspect it's bad and not good, but maybe it is good?

[LoupdelaTerre]

I'm new, hadn't seen this thread when I joined a month ago . . . so HI!

I'm TTC#2. I plan on using frozen again (I have a 3 year old) when my cycles even out.

So, hello...and good luck.

[MichelleW]

Welcome LoupdelaTerre! Glad you found us! ;-)

[PixelDust]

Mamimapster -- Julie did not have any spotting; the only sign we had was cramping that started at 8 DPO and lasted for several days. We got the first positive HPT on 10 DPO. HTH! Sorry I don't have more to offer. Good luck!