How well does he understand?

[LeosMama]

My ds is 21 months old and doesn't talk at all and doesn't really sign much either. You can read my story about that in the signing mamas tribe.

I see people talking to their little toddlers about important tasks and activities, rather than just ordering and expecting compliance. I don't really feel like he can understand my explanation "It's time to brush your teeth b/c it's important to keep your teeth healthy."

Can he understand and I just don't think he can b/c he doesn't talk/sign? I am surprised often by just how much of everyday language he does understand and respond to. He can understand the request to take something apart and throw away just this one piece and eat the rest, for example. Or that he needs to unlock the door to let the dog in, but first we have to go out front and throw the diaper away (still using 'sposies for nighttime). He remembers to go with me out to the trash can outside, and then that we have unlock the back door when we get inside to let the dog in.

But these aren't about logic, they're about sequences of actions. That's different, right?

"It's important to wear warm clothes at night so you don't get cold." Is about logic and future consequences. I can't seem to get him to understand about peeing in the toilet, either. I'm not sure how to approach toilet training at all, but I guess that's a different post.

TIA

[Rigama]

21 months seems awfully young to be trying to actively potty train, imo.

I firmly believe that little ones understand much more than we grown ups give them credit for. I have ALWAYS talked to my child as though he understood, and guess what, he does!

[LeosMama]

Well, I only brought up the potty learning b/c it's complex and some styles involve logic. But so far I'm just using it as a learning thing, that look, this is what the toilet is, and did you pee in it?! How cool, what a good job! I also ask him if he needs to go potty, but that just means he sits on it and flushes the toilet. So we restrict the potty time to just one flush and keep it all positive and fun. If he pees, I make a big positive dealio out of it and then we flush and are done.

I guess I can try to start telling him the reasons behind certain requests and orders, but I'm just not sure if he's getting it or if it's helping.

[Rigama]

I guess I was very with my son. I talked to him constantly when he was a baby and toddler and I just acted like he could understand what I was telling him. "Okay, let's get you out of that dirty diaper so you don't get a rash." "Time to buckle the carseat so you are nice and safe. I will buckle my seatbelt too." "Wow, look at that front end loader. It has wheels instead of crawler tracks" etc...I mean, really, I was always talking away. There is no way for me to know how much he actually understood, but at 3.5 he has an excellent vocaublary (the other day we were reading a book that had the word Perilous in it and I asked him if he knew what it meant and he said "dangerous"), and I'd like to think that because I always treated him as though he was capable of understanding that he's not afraid of big words. I also like to think that my running commentary on life has given him critical thinking skills that he may otherwise not have had. I guess it's possible I just got really lucky, but I prefer to think I helped at least a little!

Give it a try. You may be surprised at how much he gets.

[johub]

I'm not sure that logic is any different as far as understanding than following directions or a series of events.
And even when a child doesnt understand what you are sayign the first time, or few times. He remembers what you say and then sometimes proesses it later. We all do this it is usually called an "A Ha" moment. You know something but you dont get it at first. Then later you do.
So it is never a waste of time to explain things.
Joline

[LeosMama]

Originally Posted by johub

I'm not sure that logic is any different as far as understanding than following directions or a series of events.
And even when a child doesnt understand what you are sayign the first time, or few times. He remembers what you say and then sometimes proesses it later. We all do this it is usually called an "A Ha" moment. You know something but you dont get it at first. Then later you do.
So it is never a waste of time to explain things.
Joline

Thank you, this makes good sense to me. Sort of my own 'a ha' moment. I should have thought of this as this is how I learn best. It usually takes me a while to get the big picture, but I hate when people just spoon feed me one meaningless tidbit at a time. I prefer to get in depth explanations as I go, even if I don't understand, b/c later it will all come together in an epiphany.

This is what you are saying and what Rigama is saying, as well.

Alright, I will do it! I love to yack with him anyhow, I will just be more thorough and purposeful as Rigama described.

Thanks ladies!

[Rigama]

Joline,

You articulated the things i was thinking but couldn't spit out for whatever the reason (must be this darn cold medication!).

[davidah]

I explain a lot to my young toddlers but in very, very simple exaggerated toddler-ese language. So if I don't want her to touch the outlet covers, I would say "HOT. HURT BABY" or I might say "DIRTY YUCKY" if she's trying to climb into the diaper pail or "FOOD ON PLATE" and then shake my head and point to the floor and say "BIG MESS" (capital letters to denote exaggerated tone of voice).

Then even if the baby doesn't get the exact words, they get the message.

I haven't read it (toddler-ese comes to me naturally), but supposedly the book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" explains how to do this.

FWIW, my older DD didn't speak well until age 3 to 3 1/2 and younger DD is 17 months and just says "Dah" to mean Dada, dog, or down. Older DD signed more than younger DD.

Davidah

[crystalpea2005]

Its good to talk to your babe like a little person. They understand everything.And thats how they learn. Read, read, read they love it. : :