To Return, or NOT To Return.....

[Greenie]

We just had our baby shower. Got WAY more stuff than we'll ever really need. There are more than a few items that I think we can do without...

How many onesies does a baby really need?

Receiving blankets? We got 20 of them.

And furthermore, my mom got the baby a Spurs onesie, knowing that we're adamantly opposed to logos and brand name items. : We don't like or follow sports. Her girlfriend told me that my mom picked it out *specificly* because she knew that I would hate it. Should I return it?

This is what we got:

A Stroller
An Infant Carseat
2 Diaper Bags
2 Hooded Towels
A Baby Swing
A Boppy Pillow
A Winnie the Pooh Sweater Set
2 Baby Monitor Sets
A Baby to Toddler Bathtub
An Odorless Diaper Pail
A Honey Vanilla Bath Set
A Relaxation Set (Candles, CD, Bath Salts)
Some Fluffy Slippers
Aprox. 200 Disposable Diapers
A pack of 12 Cloth Diapers
500 Baby Wipes
Tons of clothes
Blankets
Bibs
Socks & Booties
A few Burp Cloths
2 Stuffed Animals
2 Gift Cards to Wal-Mart :

No one got me any bottles, luckily, or that would have been MORE that didn't get used. I guess I just need some input. What do I not need? Never even changed a diaper.. so I don't know anything about babies (yet). I'm returning some of the stuff already (diaper pail, monitors) but I'm clueless about the rest. :

[beansavi]

Regardless of whether you use cloth or disposable, keep the diaper pail. Sometimes, having two wouldn't suck: you could have them in different rooms. I changed my kids all over the house depending on what was going on.

Anything you're uncomfortable with (brand names you're against, etc.) I'd get rid of, but the rest will come in handier than you realize IMO.

All those receiving blankets? Great to sit on when you are still bleeding after the birth: much more comfy on Mommy parts than disposable paper products...they also absorb breast milk that hasn't regulated yet, and leaks when you sleep in the beginning. Baby will also spit up, pee, poop and drool on more than you know. I changed my son once or twice a day (clothes) but my daughter three to four because of her stomach issues and drooling. My son was a heavy pee-er, she was not...

Try to find the "Zen" of being happy you have people who love you and give you things, even if they are a little clueless about the ethical side of some of the companies, or overload you with stuff, etc.... That always helped me...

Best wishes,

[Persephone]

Ok, if you get gift cards to stores you hate, if you can't return them, don't feel too bad about spending them there, because the money has already gone to the store anyway... at least that's how I rationalize it.

Return what you can, don't feel guilty about it. You can return the gift while appreciating the intention behind the gift. (Don't know what to say about the Spurs outfit, that just sucks!

[coloradoalice]

Return what you don't want, store credit is great, you can save it for clothes in bigger sizes when all the little tiny stuff people buy doesn't fit anymore.

Notes on what to keep:

You may want to keep one monitor. We co-slept, wore her all the time, etc.... but sometimes the baby does fall asleep and you do want to put her in bed while you relax in another room. Especially as they get older. I never thought I would use one as we lived in a small apartment, but my dd was extremely sensitive, and needed to not be disturbed once she was asleep. She needed a quiet dark room to sleep, anything else made her mad. I ended up buying a monitor!! Maybe don't open it yet, but hang onto it until you know your babies personality and know for sure you won't need it.

Exchange clothes for the same thing in larger sizes. Babies grow so fast, and most stuff from showers is just up to 3 or 6 months. Get some stuff for 6 to 12 months to replace it.

Cloth diapers and recieving blankets can double as burp cloths, and you won't believe how many of those you will go through between spit-up, boob overflow, diaper blow-outs, etc.... Again maybe keep some in the package, but don't return all of them until you are sure you don' t need them.

Definiately keep the diaper pail, the stink from diapers, particularily from disposable diapers is really horrible, especially as the baby grows. Unless you are going to run every diaper to the outside trash everytime!!

I never used my baby tub, but that's because my dd hated it. I ended up taking a bath with her in the big tub everytime instead. It was great, nice quiet warm bonding time, and a wonderful place to nurse!!

Two diaper bags might not be such a bad idea either, then you can always keep one well stocked for emergencies in the car, and use the other to tote around.

It looks like you got some really nice stuff. Enjoy, it's so fun setting up for baby!!

Alice

[Hollin]

I would definitely return the Spurs thing that MIL got for you. She should know better than to get something for the baby that she knew you would hate. I would also return at least one of the monitor sets, no sense in having two. I'd hang on to the recieving blankets if you sew. You could always turn them into diapers, burp cloths, or just hem and make some wipes/rags. If you're using cloth I would maybe hang on to a pack of the disposable diapers for emergencies. If you don't use them you can always donate them to the local women's shelter. If you're really opposed to Wal-Mart you could also donate the gift cards, the money has already been given to Wal-Mart so you can't really do anything about that. I also might return the bath sets if it's not something you normally use. Otherwise it might just sit in your bathroom collecting dust.

I was also overwhelmed at all the gifts I got (although very grateful!) I was kinda like, "where am I going to put all this crap?" Just return what you don't want and don't feel guilty about it!

[gethane]

Everyone gave you some great advice!

For me, I'm not one for onesies under the sleepers. I LOVE onesies in the summer, but our circumstances are that 1) the baby is in our bedroom most of the time, which sits right on top of the furnace and would be hot if a onesie and sleeper were on, and 2) I swaddle for a couple months. And they usually tell you to dress baby one layer warmer than yourself. So if baby has a sleeper on, and I have long sleeves, long pants, and socks on, one layer warmer would be the swaddling, so I don't need a ton of onesies for winter. Hope that made sense!

Blankets. I thought we had a ridiculous amount too, except, whenever I layed baby down in the cosleeper for a nap, he peed all over the sheet. Of which I only had 2. So I started laying a blanket down under him (tucked up around the co-sleeper mattress, and just changed the blanket when he peed. So I used a LOT more blankets than I expected. I didn't really care for the microfleece baby blankets though. I am more of a cotton flannel and cotton thermal (stretch - great for swaddling!) type of person.

Keep all the clothes with tags on them or in the package UNTIL you are ready to wear them. After my babe sized up I still had quite a few things to take back for store credit that I could use for larger sizes. Same with disposable diapers.

I've never been a fan of socks and booties either. They ALWAYS came off the feet of my children. I just really like footed terry cloth sleepers for the first 6 weeks or so. Call me nuts

The bibs didn't get used much for me until the drooling started (4 months ish?) and then I didn't have enough! I could go through 4-6 easy in a day.

When I had my first child, at 22, I'd never so much as changed a diaper. And I didn't know better in the hospital and I'd had a c-section and the nurses had always changed him. I buzzed the nurse while we were packing up to leave and sheepishly asked her to please show me how to change a diaper. And she very kindly did . He's still alive too! And 14 years old now. You can do it!

Sounds like a great shower! Was the food good?

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by beansavi

Regardless of whether you use cloth or disposable, keep the diaper pail. Sometimes, having two wouldn't suck: you could have them in different rooms. I changed my kids all over the house depending on what was going on.

I'm going to check and see if you can fill it up with water for the CDs. If not, I might keep it around for a little bit to see if I really need it. My goal is to use only CDs in the house to save money. I'll probably keep it in the box.

Originally Posted by Persephone

Ok, if you get gift cards to stores you hate, if you can't return them, don't feel too bad about spending them there, because the money has already gone to the store anyway... at least that's how I rationalize it.

Yeah, we went to Wal-Mart and I got a few things today. Groceries, Thank You cards, Books, and some larger sized baby clothes that were on sale.

Originally Posted by coloradoalice

I never used my baby tub, but that's because my dd hated it. I ended up taking a bath with her in the big tub everytime instead. It was great, nice quiet warm bonding time, and a wonderful place to nurse!!

Two diaper bags might not be such a bad idea either, then you can always keep one well stocked for emergencies in the car, and use the other to tote around.

Those are both wonderful ideas! I'll keep the tub intact for now, probably along with the diaper pail, just in case I want to use it. I know they came from Wal Mart, so I can take them back if I'm out of cash and need some ice cream.

I immagine I can keep the smaller one in the car with clothes, a few diapers, some wipes, blankets, and an 'emergency toy'.

Originally Posted by Hollin

I would definitely return the Spurs thing that MIL got for you. She should know better than to get something for the baby that she knew you would hate. I would also return at least one of the monitor sets, no sense in having two.

No, no, that was MY MOM that got that for me, and I AM RETURNING IT! I just can't beleive that she would do that. It has a bib, which I would have been okay with. Plain white velcro and a small logo on the front. But the sleeper thing looks really tacky. Very very ugly. Even if it didn't have the logo, I would have thought it was ugly, and quietly gave it away.

Originally Posted by gethane

Blankets. I thought we had a ridiculous amount too, except, whenever I layed baby down in the cosleeper for a nap, he peed all over the sheet. Of which I only had 2. So I started laying a blanket down under him (tucked up around the co-sleeper mattress, and just changed the blanket when he peed. So I used a LOT more blankets than I expected. I didn't really care for the microfleece baby blankets though. I am more of a cotton flannel and cotton thermal (stretch - great for swaddling!) type of person.

Keep all the clothes with tags on them or in the package UNTIL you are ready to wear them. After my babe sized up I still had quite a few things to take back for store credit that I could use for larger sizes. Same with disposable diapers.

Good idea about the blankets. We got quite a few of the flannel ones, so we can probably use those for the bassinet. That would be ideal.

Yeah, we're keeping tags on everything until we are 100% sure that we're going to keep it. Tonight I decided what newborn sized clothes I liked and put the ones that I didn't like so much (logos and sports themed stuff mainly) and I'm going to exchange them for larger sizes. My dad got us quite a few clothes for 6-18 months, so we have a little stocked up.

I liked a most of it, and was VERY grateful that so many people thought of us. I walked into the shower, and looked at the table full of stuff, and told Carlo, 'Honey, is this right? I don't think I know this many people!' Seriously. LOTS of STUFF! It was a very sweet shower. The food was REALLY good. Buttercream icing on the cake, with strawberry filling. Fresh Strawberries, Peach Tea, Rasberry Tea, Fruit Punch. Vegetable lasagnae. It was fantastic!

[gethane]

1 more thing.. about the water in the pail thing for cloth diapers.

I did a wet pail 13 years ago when i first did cloth diapers. It's pretty nasty imo. Most people now use "dry pail" method and so do I and it works fine without having to lug around a heavy poop and pee filled water pail to the laundry.

For breastfed baby poo, i hear you don't even have to wash it off until the baby's eating solids (for various reasons, I've never used cloth on a newborn). I just toss wet dipes in the pail, scrape, peel, or rinse off the poopies, and toss it in the pail, and then on wash day toss it all in the washer for a cold rinse, then a hot wash. Usually an extra rinse at the end.

http://www.diaperjungle.com/washing-cloth-diapers.html

http://www.diaperpin.com/howto.asp#wetdry

Hope you don't mind me butting in on a question you didn't ask. I don't even have a diaper pail I have an 8 gallon plastic trashcan, no lid, for our cloth. I wash pretty much every day though.

[greenmansions]

Congrats, mama.

Here's my two cents worth:

Dry pail your cloth dipes, that's what I and most on the diapering forum do. Wet pail is actually a drowning hazard when they get older and is stinkier than a dry pail, IMO. If you want to CD, even if just at home, you will need a lot more dipes than what you received, in case you didn't know. I think you'd need at least double what you got.

Return/exchange things sooner rather than later unless you know the store's return policy well. Some department stores here would not give me the full price, only the most recent price, even tho i had a receipt. I waited probably 3 months to exchange stuff, and I only got back a reduced price to spend on larger sizes.

If you want to use the socks, then I'd recommend getting a pair of Robeez or the like (there are several brands out there) b/c they keep the socks on! No other reason for a little baby to wear "shoes" except that, IMO! I also did only footed sleepers/outfits for about the first 2-3 months because I hated dealing with socks, they fall off all the time.

It's good advice to wait and see how your baby is, also consider what you might just want to hang onto for your next baby. Like the bathtub, my DS was scared of the big tub and would only bathe in the little plastic tub - til he was like 10 months old and could barely fit in it! You just never know...

[ehsclt]

Yup, dry pail. I've tried both and dry pail is easier, less smelly and better, IMO. I just soak the diapers in the washing machine before washing them. And the pp is right about breastfed poop...it washes right off, no soaking.

Wow, does the food at your shower ever sound great. I could go for some buttercream icing cake with strawberry filling right now, breakfasttime or not!!

[MamaTaraX]

Haven't read replies, pardonif I repeat:

Return anything you are uncomfortable with. YOu dont' want to be looking at it and be unhappy about it witha new baby in/on it.
Cut up the receiving blankets, they make great clothwipes. Evenif you don't use cloth diapers,beleive me, there will be MORE than enough gooey crap throughout your baby's life that needs wiping up
Get rid of that Spurs outfit! Burn it, return it, whatever! Give it away. DO soemthing. I don't tolerate that kind of "I got it because I knew you'd hate it!" gift. Well, I let my littlebrother do crap like that but its because I love him and he trulyis doing it to be funny and he does go out of his way to find things we are okay with at other times (he just happens to be prone to finding my kids crappy battery-operated toys,just for spite...he's sooo cute though )

Somne of that stuff you may find useful afterall. Here's an idea: Talk to new moms (hey, MDC is full of moms, old and new!) ask what they really used when they had a baby. See how much of it is within the stuff you have. That might help. I cant ell you the things I really used between both kids:

Blankets (you would be surprised how many blankets came in handy), onsies, washrags, button/snap front sleepers, those "baby bags" (you know, where you put the baby in and it has a drawstring at the bottom so baby's feet don't wiggle out?), a bunting. I used the baby bathtub with #1 a few times and a few less times with #2, usually just stuck 'em in the tub with us Baby monitor was great for both kids, and we are co-sleepers. But we weren't always asleep whenthe baby was and it was handy for YEARS. Baby hairbrush. Sling. Diapers of all sorts.

Babies really don't need a ton of "stuff". My husband says they need "two arms to hold them, two boobs to feed them, and one mouth to kiss them"

Namaste, Tara
mama to Doodle (7), Butterfly (2), and Rythm (due at home 1/06)

[Wugmama]

Onsies rule!

I a huge fan of onsies and feel like you can never have too many onsies. I always give some with my shower gifts. I always put a onsie on my dd if she had a two piece outfit on so that she never had any bare skin around her middle exposed. Newborns tend to blow up and out of their diapers too, so I would sometimes go through quite a few onsies. I think you should have at least 8. If you have more than 8 in a 0 - 3 size, I would exchange them for bigger sizes.

I found that Gerber onsies actually fit the best.

I am actually sad now because my dd will be 4 in Jan and I think this is the first year there are no onsies to fit her.

~Tracy

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by gethane

Hope you don't mind me butting in on a question you didn't ask. I don't even have a diaper pail I have an 8 gallon plastic trashcan, no lid, for our cloth. I wash pretty much every day though.

Yeah. I have been wondering about the CD stuff, and I'm glad that everyone told me a little. Sure am glad that BF'd poo comes off real easy. Just ANOTHER reason to go nataral!

Originally Posted by greenmansions

If you want to use the socks, then I'd recommend getting a pair of Robeez or the like (there are several brands out there) b/c they keep the socks on! No other reason for a little baby to wear "shoes" except that, IMO! I also did only footed sleepers/outfits for about the first 2-3 months because I hated dealing with socks, they fall off all the time.

It's good advice to wait and see how your baby is, also consider what you might just want to hang onto for your next baby.

At Target they have the Robeez style shoes for like, $12 or $15. Baby got a few little velcro shoes, so that will work well. I don't do leather, though, so luckily they all got me cloth.

As for 'next baby'..... : No way. I don't think I'm having another. I'm talking to my Doc about the cut, tie burn. I really never planned on having kids. I feel like one is all I really want.

Originally Posted by ehsclt

Wow, does the food at your shower ever sound great. I could go for some buttercream icing cake with strawberry filling right now, breakfasttime or not!!

It was really good. Funny thing is, the Vegetarian lasagnae was WAY better than the one with meat in it. Several people told me so. The Veggie one was gourmet, the meat one was straight out of the freezer at WalMart.

Originally Posted by MamaTaraX

Return anything you are uncomfortable with. YOu dont' want to be looking at it and be unhappy about it witha new baby in/on it.
Cut up the receiving blankets, they make great clothwipes. Evenif you don't use cloth diapers,beleive me, there will be MORE than enough gooey crap throughout your baby's life that needs wiping up
Get rid of that Spurs outfit! Burn it, return it, whatever! Give it away. DO soemthing. I don't tolerate that kind of "I got it because I knew you'd hate it!" gift. Well, I let my littlebrother do crap like that but its because I love him and he trulyis doing it to be funny and he does go out of his way to find things we are okay with at other times (he just happens to be prone to finding my kids crappy battery-operated toys,just for spite...he's sooo cute though )

Yeah. I already warned everyone that our house will be BATTERY FREE. No toys with batteries, no plastic, nothing like that. My little bro got the baby a bunch of sport themed stuff, because he's 16 and loves football.. But the rest of it is going to go. ESPECIALLY THE SPURS ONESIE!

Originally Posted by Wugmama

I a huge fan of onsies and feel like you can never have too many onsies. I always give some with my shower gifts. I always put a onsie on my dd if she had a two piece outfit on so that she never had any bare skin around her middle exposed. Newborns tend to blow up and out of their diapers too, so I would sometimes go through quite a few onsies. I think you should have at least 8. If you have more than 8 in a 0 - 3 size, I would exchange them for bigger sizes.

We're keeping 12 onesies, the rest are getting 'upgraded'. I've heard 3-4 onesies a day, that's 3 days worth.. Jsut in case we go out of town, we won't need to do laundry until we get home.

Thanks for all the feedback. I'm taking everything back pretty soon, and the tub/diaper pail are going in the closet until we know for sure that we're going to keep them.

[RainRaven]

Just remember to keep "helpfull" frends and Famaly away from anything you might whant to return. my MIL came ove 2 weeks before Ds was born and took all the tags off all the cloths and washed them for me( most of them pink and horad becuse she refused to belive I was right and the us was wrong about it being a girl). she also unpacked and desposed of all the packaging for the other gifts. Got to love "helpfull" people.

Ps my MIL also not only gave my son a complete Broncos outfit which I asked her not to buy, she then came over removed the outfit I had dressed him in and put it on him. Then got pissed at me for being "spoiled and ungratefull" Then told me she puts up with me doing things and beliving things that she finds moraly reprehensable, and I could at least put up with her giveing HER grandson somthing she thought was cute. ( she did it to irrate me she knew how I felt about football)

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by RainRaven

Just remember to keep "helpfull" frends and Famaly away from anything you might whant to return. my MIL came ove 2 weeks before Ds was born and took all the tags off all the cloths and washed them for me( most of them pink and horad becuse she refused to belive I was right and the us was wrong about it being a girl). she also unpacked and desposed of all the packaging for the other gifts. Got to love "helpfull" people.

Ps my MIL also not only gave my son a complete Broncos outfit which I asked her not to buy, she then came over removed the outfit I had dressed him in and put it on him. Then got pissed at me for being "spoiled and ungratefull" Then told me she puts up with me doing things and beliving things that she finds moraly reprehensable, and I could at least put up with her giveing HER grandson somthing she thought was cute. ( she did it to irrate me she knew how I felt about football)

Yeah, I've stashed the returns in the top of the closet until the time is right. I read your post about the Broncs incident. Why must they do things like this?? They know that they'd be upset and not like it.. SO and I have agreed that anything we don't like/agree with the child having will dissappear. If they refuse to take us seriously about how we're raising the child, then they can have their money go to waste.

I'm so happy with my MIL. One of SIL's kids is a big TX Longhorns fan. He wanted to get the baby a Longhorns onesie. She told him to 'Call Uncle Carlo and ask him' before buying it. His family is much more understanding about respect and parental decisions. My Dad is too, mostly.. But with my mother, it's all about her. She's not ready to be a grandmother. She's going to do as she pleases. Well, I told her that she's not going to see the child if she can't respect my decisions for my child.

And, if she ever feeds him meat intentionally, she'll never see him again.

[DesireeH]

December mama visiting! LOL I would also dry pail. I had a diaper champ and it was crap for cloth dipes. The diaper genie is even worse cause it makes a sausage out of the dipes and if you use cloth you would have to get them out of the plastic which would be nasty! Just a big waterproof pail liner is what I like best personally. No soaking water or any of that! LOL

I agree with returning stuff earlier rather than later, some stores only allow a certain time period. Or if the item goes on clearance in a month, they will only give you back the clearance price (credit).

I hated onesies personally (I dont live in a cold climate though and they dont fit over CD butts) and baby baths, those big plastic things just look so uncomfy! We just put ds in the shower with us. LOL

If your house is small you might test the monitor to see if you even want to keep it. In my last house (1100 sq ft) it would get awful feedback because the monitors were too close together (plus we co slept so it was kinda a waste, I used it when he took a nap and I was in the kitchen but even the kitchen wasnt far enough away to avoid that feedback noise.)

I got a couple of double things at my shower so we just returned it the other day for groceries at Target. LOL

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by DesireeH

I agree with returning stuff earlier rather than later, some stores only allow a certain time period. Or if the item goes on clearance in a month, they will only give you back the clearance price (credit).

If your house is small you might test the monitor to see if you even want to keep it. In my last house (1100 sq ft) it would get awful feedback because the monitors were too close together (plus we co slept so it was kinda a waste, I used it when he took a nap and I was in the kitchen but even the kitchen wasnt far enough away to avoid that feedback noise.)

I got a couple of double things at my shower so we just returned it the other day for groceries at Target. LOL

Yeah, the clothes that we're returning, we're doing very soon. The only thing that we're waiting on is the things that we're not sure of yet. Our apartment is only 750 sf, so we really don't need them. Once we get a real house, I'm sure the baby will be big enough to not need a monitor. I don't see 'real house' status for at least 2 or 3 years. Besides, if I really want one, I'm sure I can get one. The monitors can go back.

We bought groceries with the Wal Mart card. Spending it already because I just don't want to have it anymore.

[ozzyemm]

A note on the Spurs outfit: i would make it the "Grandma" outfit. everytime he visits grandma, put the outfit on. Make sure he gets really dirty each time, so soon, the outfit will be really ugly, and she won't want him to wear it!!!

I don't return things if people buy them for spite. I get even !!

[Greenie]

Eew!! Gross!! I don't want the Spurs thing to touch my baby!!!!!

I don't really feel like I'm returning it for any other reason than I don't agree with it, and since she knew ahead of time that I would hate it, and it was a spiteful gift, I'm simply going to get something else that I will use. I am saving one of the Wal Mart gift cards that we got for a breast pump. It' only $25, so I can return the Spurs outfit, and two others that I think are horrid, and maybe have enough. All else fails, I'll buy groceries and diapers.

Besides, I told her that I was taking it back. She knows better than to do that.

[AngelBee]

Ok.....this is just my opinion and what I would do

A Stroller....keep
An Infant Carseat...keep
2 Diaper Bags....keep one if I like it, return the other
2 Hooded Towels....return; I never used them
A Baby Swing...keep; or return and rebuy a used one for less
A Boppy Pillow...keep
A Winnie the Pooh Sweater Set...keep if cute or return
2 Baby Monitor Sets...keep one for naps; return other
A Baby to Toddler Bathtub...keep
An Odorless Diaper Pail....return; I use a clothes basket open...never stinks
A Honey Vanilla Bath Set...return (I have sensative skin)
A Relaxation Set (Candles, CD, Bath Salts)...keep
Some Fluffy Slippers...maybe keep if I really like em
Aprox. 200 Disposable Diapers.....return or donate
A pack of 12 Cloth Diapers...keep
500 Baby Wipes.....maybe keep for in the car otherwise return or donate
Tons of clothes....only keep what you need. They grow sooooooo fast
Blankets...I would keep receiving blankets. You can use them as dipes and spit up rags
Bibs...keep bigger ones; maybe one small one; return the rest
Socks & Booties...keep
A few Burp Cloths....return
2 Stuffed Animals....keep
2 Gift Cards to Wal-Mart....sell to someone else if you won't gp there. You could also trade them on the TP Diapers for more cloth diapering stuff