Did your mom use gd with you? - Page 2

[owensmom]

My dh was definately raised gd... and I'm continually disheartened by his non-gd actions and words (no hitting or anything!!) in response to ds. It makes me wonder, does it matter? MIL lives with us and she is AMAZING, and did gd without knowing what it was, just did what felt right. I'm blessed to have her help and input. Just wish dh had paid attention growing up.

[luckymama]

Originally Posted by mykdsmomy

how do you all do it if you didnt witness it growing up??

the "discipline" i received growing up didn't make sense to me at the time, and goes against all my instincts as a parent now.

for a long time i wasn't going to have children at all, for fear of not knowing how to raise them, but then i got older and realized i could think for myself. i didn't realize that gentle discipline or attachment parenting had names until after my son was born ... then i found mothering mag & mdc. my mother passed away before i ever had a chance to understand or talk to her about how we were raised. in some ways, i wonder whether or not she succumbed to my dad's will, or if she ascribed to his beliefs about child rearing.

a little story: last summer i was reading "unconditional parenting" on the beach, sitting next to my dad who was wearing a t-shirt that said: "winning isn't everything. it's the ONLY thing." and he informed me that day that he had read the blurb about kohn's book and said books with horse $h_& like that were banned from his house when i was a kid and shouldn't be read in his presence, if at all.

[owensmom]

Originally Posted by luckymama

for a long time i wasn't going to have children at all, for fear of not knowing how to raise them, but then i got older and realized i could think for myself.

Yep.

[OakBerry]

No Gd here. My mom loved/loves me like crazy but she was 42 with 8 other kids when I was born. She had my brother 2 years after me, and thankfully, that was it. She was cranky, tired, perimenopausal, and just "over" having small kids I think. She treated us well in general, didn't get angry over small things, but when she got angry she yelled and hit. Her word was pretty much the rule, she didn't have the time or patience for any of us to have our own opinions, express any anger, or go against the grain etc.
I am affected by it in some ways but other times I feel she did the best she could having so many kids. My dad was fine but he was always working and didn't help much with housework or the kids.

I read alot of books when I was pg, I knew I didn't want to be like my mom. I am already yelling and definatley have issues with anger management. I think just being aware of your limitations and even thinking/reading about how your going to discipline your child is helpful. Alot of my friends with children that I know don't even think about it at all. It's a work in progress for sure!