Help discipling my 3 yr old!

[rainbowfairymomma]

Please help me momma’s!!!
I don’t know how to discipline my 3 year old son!!! I feel like ever since he turned 3 he is a different person! He hits, kicks tells me ‘I’m not listening’ ‘I’m going to kick you’ etc… A perfect scenario was today. Here’s the scene :
we had played a game earlier:
“Logan please come and help clean up your game” Logan “NO I’m not going to listen” Me “that’s fine but if you don’t then you will have a time out” Logan “I don’t care” so he goes in time out (his bed, I’m not sure this is a good spot but I don’t know where else) he then SCREAMS and says “I’m going to hit you” etc.. and just gets out and runs around like crazy! PLEASE HELP! I spanked the other day and I never want to do it again but I just have no idea what to do!!!

[SKK]

Your house sounds vaguely like mine. 3.5 yo and new little brother born in 2/2005....

I think some of what you are describing is a result of being more *capable* as he grows, and also a result of having the new little one around and acting out to get more attention (it happens even though you are *giving* him lots of attention - mine does that too!)

As for ways to handle it, I have few answers. I try to explain things logically to him. I find that he is getting old enough now to understand some reasoning. And, I find that once I explain things calmly to ds, he usually agrees with my reason and stops doing whatever unacceptable thing he is doing at the moment. Usually - of course if he is overly tired, it doesn't work so well.

For example, if he were telling me "no" in response to my reasonable requests of him - I explain that it's OK to say no in certain situations, and give him some examples. Then I differentiate those situations from the situation at hand... "mommy is asking you to eat dinner because it will help you grow and stay healthy. You don't like to be sick, right?" Of course not... you get the picture. I think explaining unreasonable behaviors in light of their real consequences is a good way to go. It's difficult and time-consuming but it teaches real lessons, and also helps ds come to logical answers on his own.

Good luck. I know - I hate it when I feel I have to resort to yelling and threats... I feel like some kind of awful harpy when that happens...

to you!

[HappyHSer]

“Logan please come and help clean up your game” Logan “NO I’m not going to listen” Me “that’s fine but if you don’t then you will have a time out” Logan “I don’t care” so he goes in time out (his bed, I’m not sure this is a good spot but I don’t know where else) he then SCREAMS and says “I’m going to hit you” etc.. and just gets out and runs around like crazy! PLEASE HELP! I spanked the other day and I never want to do it again but I just have no idea what to do!!!

My recommendation would be to back up, and start over. Do a *bunch* of reading on gentle and positive disicpline. Instead of seeing yourself on the opposite end of a tug of war with him, envision yourself on his end of the rope, with your arms around him, helping him with the rope.

Discipline and punishment are not synonymous. As a culture, I've observed we punish our children too much and discipline them too little.

For a (gentle) example, putting your son in time out didn't get the game cleaned up and only introduced another power struggle.

I would suggest a whole new paradigm; a whole new way of looking at the challenges of living with a little one.

There are lots of books, sites, ideas and experience listed around here. I encourage you to start reading with an open heart and open mind. You'll find some different theories and approaches. But one thing we share here is the desirability to avoid punishment and have a fun, connected, happy home.

Here is a link to another way to see time out:

http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positiv...nter/id26.html

There is more on my site, but I would read all the great stuff available and suggested in this forum.