hey this is goooood- I'm reviving it!Hi all
I'm Erin... happy to find this thread today. I'm swimming in that water you're all boating around in! I've been going through BP (but didn't chalk it up to that) for a loooooong time, just thinking I was "out of it" and never went for help. Actually I thought I was depressed, since my mum has been forever it seems. So.... okay, my son is 15 months old and we're bfing (kind of motivates me to find alternatives to meds) and I've been all over the map since that.. raging, not functioning, screaming (I thought I actually loosened a wisdom tooth from screaming so hard ) I have a really supportive but worried dh and now finally FINALLY I'm going to a bipolar support group (general public, not spec. for mamas) and it really resonates deep inside me. I don't know how severely I swing, sometimes if I have caffeine I am so manic and like another mama said, I throw myself into sewing or sorting or cleaning etc.. and IT FEELS DAMN GOOD> then the next day is a writeoff. and the tv's on, it's a lovely day outside, and I feel like a nobody. empty and dull and afraid that if we go out, someone will piss me off and I'll be like "What was the point of getting out the door"/ ???? I'm really depressed today. Highly sensitive too.. I'm going to make a mission to get some fish oil! I want to feel better! I'm looking at my ds with so much love and yet my body and mind are saying "Uh, nope, mama's got no energy and very little patience for you, and are you ready for a nap?" THat f-ing SUCKS!!!! I don't want to regret all these bad days. WHat a waste.
: but !!!