????????q

[ellymay]

I just need to get this out I feel so broken hearted right now and so depressed and so alone I just feel like I am going to have a nervous
break down and there isn't anyone here to comfort me or who cares........
Dh just told me that basically he doesn't love and doesn't know if
he ever can love me again................I feel so alone and I am hurting
so bad my whole body is shaking and I don't think I can deal with this
I don't even think I am going to be able to take care of my kids IDK what
to do I just I have no money and no where to go and what am I supposed
to do?????????????????? Sorry to bring all of you down I just need to get
some of this hurt out and I don't have anyone that I can call.

[dillonandmarasmom]

I am not in your group, but I am soooo sorry you are going through this. Was this out of the blue???? Or, did you have an inkling it was coming? Do you have any friends you could be with just so you don't have to be alone?

You will get through this, I am so sorry.

[ellymay]

We have been arguing off and on since we got together but things have been much
better except when something comes up that we need to talk about and instead
of just talking to me he just starts saying mean things and won't even give me the
time of day but for him to tell me he doesn't know if he can love me again really shocked and stunned me. He even said he wouldn't even care if I slept with someone
else?????????????Why wouldn't he care?????? NO I don't have anyone who can come
be with me bc my closest best friend lives a state away and that is why I figured I
would try and talk on here bc I don't have anyone else.

[NurseLaurie]

Ellymay, I'm so sorry!!! I can't even imagine what it must be like for someone you trust to do something like that. I guess my only advise (for the sake of you and your children) is to contact someone about state support right away. You don't have to apologize for sharing your feelings on this board. That's what we are here for. I just wish I could be more help!

[quirkylayne]

.

[~*max*~]

Oh ellymay, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine the stress of all of this for you. Do call your friend. Do you have any family? Church or group you are connected to? This is not a time to be alone. Maybe a therapist would be a good idea, to support you & help you make a plan. Of course we are here for you.

There is definately state aid available to you, and he should pay child support. You may be eligable for free legal aid around this. Although I think if you apply for aid they will help you w/acquiring the child support too.

And I just have to say, that bastard! Now, of all times...

Stay strong mama! You can do this.

[dshields]

God ellymay, I'm so sorry! The pp's are right about looking for support, financially and emotionally. It's so hard to keep it together and get motivated when you've been so hurt but you can do it!

[Hollysmom]

Oh ellymay, I am so sorry you are going through this. Please take care of yourself.

[oldermamato5]

I am so sorry dear mama. Do you have or attend a church? Your pastor would be a good place to start. I am so very sorry. I will be praying for you.
Love,
Kim

[ChattyCat]

momma. That sound really rough. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now.

[NYCVeg]

ellymay...

You should of course feel like you can talk about this here...but please find someone IRL to talk to as well (even if just over the phone).

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[nitareality]

I'm so sorry. That is just awful, you must be very stressed out indeed.

[ellymay]

I am just feeling very empty and very sad and so heartbroken. Dh tried to tell me he
was sorry this morning but I told him what he said the hurt will not go away that easy
bc he wouldn't have said it if there wasn't some truth to it. IDK what to think or what to do. I just feel like crying forever. I look horrid this morning my eyes are all black around them and my head hurts from crying all night. My whole body just feels limp.
Thank you all so much for being there for me. That is what I really need right now is
to have friends like you all to talk to. We have tried counseling before and it didn't work bc he wouldn't speak and if he did say anything it was just to change the subject to something other than the issue.

[Unreal]

oh hon


Is your family nearby or anything?
Going through crap (I'd call it other things, but it involves bad words) like that when your pg is the WORST.
When I was pg with #1, I swear I cried myself to sleep every single night (this was pre-DH....long story....)
It was all so overwhelming

It is good that he apologized, but at the same time how moronic can you get--to think something like that would be made okay with an "I'm sorry"

Can you go ahead and get yourself a little safety net going? Get your own private bank account and maybe sell some stuff on ebat or TP to get some funds in there?
If you tell the bank the account needs to be private and whatnot, they can flag the account to not give out ANY information to ANYONE other than you-IN PERSON with photo ID. I had to do that for a few customers when I worked at the bank...it is no big deal for the bank and can maybe give you some peace of mind?
If you are home and any holiday present checks come in, you can maybe put some in that account too?

When I get hurt like that from someone, I make it my life's goal to be as absolutely independent of the person as I can be (this included my parents when I was a kid...I was sooo weird....)
Financial dependence is usually where I attack first--since the rest can follow after that, usually.
I focus all my anger and sadness into that, instead of letting the GOOBER who hurt me see me hurt, ya know?

Speaking of goobers....you said problems have been worse lately--do you think he is feeling stress from outside source that could be causing this? Not that it excuses his behavior at all, but it might explain it some?

I'm so so so so so sorry you are going through this
And we are most definitely here for you!!!!

[ellymay]

Unreal - Actually we have separate accounts bc it is just better for us to keep our
money separate and I have child support that comes in sometimes for dd so I do have
money when I get that and I have been doing my best not to spend it so that it builds up some. IDK about outside stress other than he works all the time and he just
seems unhappy unless he is leaving or spending money. I told him that I think that is
why I am feeling unable to be attached to this baby bc I don't feel that he wants it
and it makes my emotions wierd. Oh and about my acct his name isn't on it my moms
is so he isn't able to do anything with my money.

[Sydnee]

Oh Ellymay, I am so sorry. I can't even begin to fathom what your going through right now. I hope you have/can find a church, or some sort of support to help you through this. I will be praying for you.

[nmm2112]

Sorry ellymay! Sometimes guys can be awful.

Some of the other posters made good points -- I think you should definately try to find a real person to talk with. If you don't have a church maybe there are some counseling places you could call from your phone book? You know like a support group of some type?

Even though you're feeling pretty badly right now (with great reason!) it's probably best to just pick yourself up and be as strong as you can! It's not good for your kids to see you upset (even though you have total reason to be!) and not good for Little #3 to have you crying and feeling bad.
Show your guy you are a strong woman and confident in yourself! Sometimes guys forget how wonderful we are and as soon as he sees you acting so independent and sure of yourself he'll think about how much he really needs you.
Hope this is all coming across in a very supportive tone - Computers are great but this type of situation is really best handled in person (talking).
Good luck!
You can do it!
You have so much to offer!

[merrick]

These other ladies have given you some good advice, so I'll just say I'm sorry you're going through this.

[lilmissimpatient@c]

((((((((EllyMay)))))))))))

Oh, Mama..I'm so sorry to read your posts today I know things are scary for you right now..but take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you didn't do anything to cause this..nor do you deserve this. You are a good person, sweetie. You'll get through this, we're all here for you

[maybebaby]

(((((Ellymay))))) I'm so sorry!

Was he mad when he said those things (NOT that it would excuse his saying it, but if he's one of those guys who runs off at the mouth when they're mad...)? Is he stressed about the baby or something?

There's no reason for him to say those hurtful things to you But I just wonder why he would suddenly decide NOW is the time to tell you something like that, yk? Would he do counseling by himself maybe first?

Ugh. Sorry I don't have much constructive to offer...you'll be in my thoughts!!