Long time lurker needs some positive thoughts

[sputnik]

Hi Mamas-
I'm a long time lurker on this board... I have been plagued with a lot of fears and anxieties toward the end of my pregnancy and so haven't posted much at all (you know, fear of jinxing things, etc. etc.... not so rational theses days!).

Well, anyway, I am now 38.5 weeks pregnant. We all thought I would go early this time around, as I had a subchorionic hematoma and also my water broke with DS at 37 weeks (I had a c/s due to total placenta previa). So, even though I'm not "late", I feel late! I had my first internal today and I'm not a single hair dilated... and I feel like crying. I am so huge, and so uncomfortable, and continue to worry about the health of this baby (even though everything looks great). I know, in my heart of hearts, that she'll come when it's time, but the waiting is so hard.

Thanks for letting me vent. I think I'll try some yoga and meditation tonight.. maybe visualization? I guess I just need to find a way to make peace with the pace of this (I should know, after having one, that it's all out of my hands anyway!).

Rae

[flyingspaghettimama]

Hi - from a REAL overdue mama - the best advice I can give you is not to get too antsy too early! Yes, I'd do the yoga. Also, just two days ago, I got the hypnobirthing CD and book (mongan). It has some GREAT relaxation exercises and visualization exercises, perfect for the evening when your energy and happiness is ebbing. Surrounding yourself with positive energy is very important right now, particularly if you have a few more weeks to go.

It's ok to feel impatient or frustrated, but it's good to balance that with the zen of baby waiting.

[*Amy*]

I'm still 8 days from my due date but I know how hard it is to try to be patient and not get yourself worked up and/or depressed about it. I am going through the same mental gymnastics - she will come when it's the right time, the due date doesn't mean anything, and I guess I can tolerate another week (or three!!) of being uncomfortable.

She has to be born sometime; I'm just trying not to obsess. It's hard!!

[spughy]

I second the hypnobirthing/visualization recommendation - anything you can do to relax your body and relax your mind will help. Don't worry - it'll all be fine, and 38.5 weeks with no dilation is nothing to worry about at all. You can dilate pretty suddenly when your body decides it's time.

One exercise I found really helpful is mental and physical relaxation aimed at overcoming your discomforts. It's like practice for labour and can help you accept pains and aches and twinges (and even hemorrhoids...sort of...). If you can make your body relax around the owie bits, and get your mind to accept that they are temporary, necessary, possibly useful and certainly could be worse, you might find you're better able to deal with the wait. Treat every day you get before labour as a gift your body is giving you to help you have the best birth you can. (Although I can see how this would be a lot harder to do if you have a toddler hanging around than if this is your first babe...)

Good luck, anyway!

[mlec]

Sorry you're not feeling tops. Maybe it would be a good idea to forgo the internal exams until you're in advanced labor. They don't do anything but get your hopes up...or down.

I hope the next few weeks fly for you.

[flapjack]

I think 38/9 weeks is actually harder than overdue: certainly it was for me, because Isaac was born early, and for various reasons I really didn't want to be late with this one. This is normal: some of it is your fluctuating hormones, some of it is social pressure, some of it is real.
You'll get through it. Just a few more days, few more weeks, and then it'll all be over. (Only 37 days till Christmas: and your baby will be here before then...)

[MamaFern]

i agree with the PP.. i had such a hard time the last week before my EDD because elwynn was 5 days early and i just expected this babe would come early. now that im 5 days over it feels less frustrating.. but its still hard!

[Chi-Chi Mama]

dd was a week 'early' - and I'm 39 weeks today. Everyone has been expecting this baby to be even earlier - especially my mom, who keeps saying how she had all three of her kids two weeks 'early'.. and also since the first pregnancy is +8 days, this baby somehow must come sooner than my dd did

Last few days, I've actually started saying "maybe in December" drives my family nuts and december is a possibility!

hang in there, it will be soon.

[LeAnnie]

Sorry you're worrying over this. Most of us have BTDT. My first was born 12 days after due date. This time I'm 2 days before and starting to prep myself for the waiting, phone calls, etc. Keeping a positive attitude is so important. I would suggest banishing the terms 'early' and 'late' from your mind and speech. Both terms carry a lot of baggage, expectation, negative vibes, etc. The baby will come when he/she and your body are ready. It's easier for me to accept that when I don't think of the birth event as a label such as late or early. No gain in fretting over what you can not control. Wish you an easy peaceful birth whenever it happens....

[sputnik]

Thanks to all of you

Thanks, Mamas. Your words of wisdom really do make me feel better!

And just to prove that there is a reason for everything, DS got croup last night. I was SO GLAD to be home and be able to hold and snuggle him as we all spent the night on the floor of the bathroom... I would have felt terrible if he had been so sick without his mamma (and I would have felt bad for DH, too).

I'm much more sanguine today. Thanks for all of your good thoughtd.