Postdates sucks! Who's with me?

[BensMom]

This sucks. I never wanted drama. I just wanted a nice peaceful homebirth. :

And now I am so embroiled in mental stress, its not even funny. So not only do I have the spector of a breech birth hanging over my head, knowing that every time I take a bite of food, I am making my baby's head bigger and just asking her to get stuck...

But then there is the postdates issue. WTH? I think postdates is such a mentally challenging thing for a pregnant women. First, you have to deal with the stress of everyone and their mother calling every 15 mins wondering if you had the baby without telling anyone. Then you have to deal with pressure from your provider, even if its not overt. Then you have to deal with the idea of loosing all or part of your dream birth. And the discomfort and the wondering about every little twinge. Oh, and how about not making plans to drive very far from home, in case you go into labor. Or arranging your life around a stupid due date that comes and goes.

So who's with me? Postdates roll call.

Hi, I'm Jenn and yes, my baby was due yesterday. STOP CALLING!

(ok that felt good)

[MamaFern]

now that my EDD has come and gone (sigh) people have'nt been calling as much. i dunno how i feel about that. i feel like im making people unhappy by making them wait. my MIL and SIL came to town over a week ago and now say they cant stay longer if i dont have baby soon.. which is fine and i understand, but i feel like im under this pressure and its not helping me feel calmer. i was So sure baby would be here by now.. weeks ago even.. its starting to freak me out. like.. what if my body cant do it this time.. i know thats not true and im only 4 days past due, but every day feels like a week.. ive decided that after this week if baby hasn't come in going to stop working and just do things for me and elwynn.. maybe i just need some down time.. lots of naps and rest and a few massages and an acupuncture session.. maybe i just need some me time. and maybe baby just likes it in there!

but hang in there !! we will have our babies in our arms soon.. right?

[HoneyTree]

So so so true.

I feel like I was GREAT about this all during the pregnancy -- I made a point of mostly saying "November sometime" when people would ask about the DD, and I tried to really nurture feelings of calm and fluidity regarding the timing and possible circumstances of the birth. But when that date, the few-days-later date that my mw had, AND the full-moon date passed, it suddenly got really hard to be in that mental space. I, too, am suddenly inhabiting this weird pregnancy world where I'm hyper-analyzing every physical sign, where I'm all over the place emotionally, and where I have to consider unattractive and possibly dangerous options to get my baby into the world. It's actually making me really kind of resent what I previously thought of as a beautifully simple philosophy -- that birth is a natural process for which a woman's body is perfectly equipped. I'm doubting that as I look toward days that might include the hospital, monitoring, induction, etc., and I feel like maybe I was fooling myself all along, like maybe birth really IS a dangerous thing for more women and babies than the books tell us...

Geez, these are not happy thoughts! And while I know they're mostly uncalledfor, they nonetheless seem to be occupying more of my brain than I'd like...

[MamaFern]

i guess the thing i try to remember is that a due date is only a number that we calculate based on this fact and that fact.. and really, how long it takes for a baby to grow and be ready to enter the world cant be based on numbers and dates.. its scary only because some people ( mainly doctors) want to start pumping us full of drugs to get baby out when they probably aren't ready~! and i think for the most part its not about the safety of momma and baby but about it being inconvienent for the caregivers. my midwives have said Nothing about being concerned, but i feel like if i had a dr. they would be giving me a hard time already... i feel well taken care of and i feel like even though doubts cross my mind.. my body and my baby know exactly what they are doing and i have to trust in the universe!

[spughy]

I am trying to keep in mind that 40 weeks is a pretty arbitrary number and statistically, the average time for a first baby to cook is 40 weeks + 10 days. So I still have a good 8 days to go before I get really worried. That's not to say I'm not being somewhat proactive - I'm all for gentle stretch-n-sweeps and nudge-nudge acupuncture treatments and massage and acupressure and exercise and sex and all. It's ok to use some gentle encouragement along with general acceptance of the concept of babies coming when they're ready! No point making them TOO comfy in there!

[flyingspaghettimama]

I'm with you. 9 days past...second pregnancy. No signs of impending labor, other than the cramping, swollen feet, large bump on front of my stomach, etc etc. Family and friends calling every other day. The saddest ones are when they call and leave a message, if they can do anything or bring by some frozen food and visit with the baby. Waaa.

Hypnobirthing CD is my friend right now, and going out for lunch with husband, and watching movies. Last week (40 weeks) was the worst, I for some reason have gone into the Zen Baby state this week.. . I think it's probably because despite what one says - you do think ... oooh, 27 weeks ... 35 weeks ... 39 weeks ... getting closer, it's a countdown! I've got everything together...but - oops, no baby.

[PicnicBear]

Yeah -- you gals summed it up (I'll be 41 weeks tomorrow). I don't know what I can add -- I feel the same things -- been fine the whole pregnancy, I'M fine to wait, but getting pressure from the providers, etc.

Nothing else to add, except that at least we are in this together so we don't have to feel so alone as we might otherwise.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Is anyone else signed up for a biophysical profile yet then? Mine is today. I am lucky though, I am not being pressured by my provider, as long as everything is normal.

Being the worst-case scenario master that I am, I asked a L&D nurse friend how inductions work in the hospital. She said they put you on pitocin and don't turn it off, just leave it at a low level. Then you're all tied up to a pole for the whole time. Yuck. That's what I had last time, along with a sadistic Nurse Ratchet who kept turning it UP, insisting I wasn't having contractions. I still hate that woman. I don't know if this is just the way it works at her hospital or at all of them. It worked at making me feel very, very committed to my homebirth though. I think I'll call an acupuncturist today...

[PicnicBear]

No BioPhys plans yet -- I have NST tomorrow. Then the do the Biophys at sometime between 41 and 42, so I would imagine they would probably have me go in Monday. Fuuny since I have had no ultrasounds or doppler yet.

As I said somewhere else, since my 42 weeks falls on US T-giving which is next Thurs., if everything continued to look picture-perfect (which it has this entire pregnancy) then I they would "let" me wait it out til the Sunday after T-giving since no one wants to deal with scheduling something during T-giving or the break. I think she was telling me that kind of unofficially so it's not really a promise. It really is likely that I would go before then since 90% of women do, and I am pretty sure about my dates.

[GatorNNP]

joining in...

Due today, feeling just a little too "fine" if you know what I mean. The answering machine is definately going to 1 ring today!

[BensMom]

I will be talking to my OB tomorrow. My MW wants me to ask him about home induction methods. I know he will not do a traditional induction with Pit, etc because of the breech. But he did offer a foley cath indcution to my VBAC friend, so who knows what he will be willing to do if I go past 41w (his comfort zone, so I can take it or leave it since pretty much every other OB in this city would have already done surgery by now).

But castor oil does not sound appealing at all. I mean, why would I voluntarily give myself a stomach virus. Yuck.

I think I might have to align my brain with the idea that sometime next week, I will schedule a Cesarean if this babe has not appeared by then. Sigh. I feel like I have come so far for that to happen, YKWIM?

FSM, if you do get the Pit indcution, you might want to talk to your Dr (not the nurses!) about removing it once you get into a good ctx pattern. I had that with a client of mine. And also, fight for your right to still be upright, even with the monitors and the IV - you can sit on the ball, stand near the bed, etc. There are lots of ways to still avoid being flat on your back with evil nurses bumping up the Pit every 5 mins.

[Belleweather]

40w4d today. My *professors* have started e-mailing me 'just to check in and see if you've had that baby yet...', including my evil contracts II professor who does not know me from adam and has refered to me as 'pregnant girl' all semester. One more phone call and I am going to implode, I tell you!

FSM: I have a BPP scheduled for tuesday, so that will be dwelling over my head all weekend. I'm worried about it, but on the other hand I like the fact that it tests more than just the baby's movements and what it looks like on the u/s, so I sort of hope that there will be more 'good' information than just someone saying "Oops, baby looks big! Let's induce!"

I know that my midwives can legally let me go until I'm 42w6d, which they've generously set as December 5, (I'll be more like 43w2d, but I am not arguing even though I'm terrified of needing the extra three days!) and they have a whole 'natural induction protocol' that they do before passing me off to an OB. But the induction practices here in the hospital scare me and I'm worried that they're going to look at the minor complications I've had and freak and start pushing a section. DH and I haven't talked about a worst-case scenario, but I don't feel ready for a UC or unplanned homebirth, and I would feel weird refusing an induction against my midwives advice... although I don't know that would stop me from doing it...

[flyingspaghettimama]

Well, here's good news and hope for some of you - my BPP came back really good. They did it only by ultrasound (no NST - i'd like to hear how yours goes, plagio, and what they do). I'm not sure if the NST is separate or something else that my MW does not consider necessary, as long as I feel movement. The technician estimated my gestation as being between anywhere between 40 and 42 weeks (ha, for real! One measurement would suggest 40 weeks, another 42 weeks), but everything is functioning fine and there are no bizarre reasons why baby has not arrived, other than mama is comfy. His head is wedged in there yet still has fluid pockets... he's ready for takeoff, but he just hasn't felt like it yet.

And, he is 8lbs 8oz. Give or take 16 oz (yes, that's what she said). Ha! I love the guesstimation. But I did feel relived that there is no bizarre reason for no baby...and I just have to relearn that patience bit day by day...including patience with %^^&*# relatives who call with their own "late baby scare stories" (and every single one has a story like this! and calls to tell me them!).

bensmama, I am so sorry about your situation. How nice though that he's cool with you going to 41 weeks and delivering breech. I would like to hear about any sort of home induction techniques that he might suggest.

[nataliekat]

Sign me up for postdates. 41w tomorrow. Took my first dose of castor oil this morning and come on, girls, it's not THAT bad. Had lots of crampy contractions during all my bowel activity, but they've pretty much fizzled now. Still having some little ones with cramping, but nothing much.

I really hope they'll pick up again tonight. God, it makes you wonder how long it can go on!!!

41w is when my MW's back-up OB wants to do U/S, etc. I think. Maybe I'll do one more dose of castor oil tomorrow and if it doesn't work we'll probably do all that early next week, if offices are open. Don't know about the holiday.

I'm feeling extreme pressure because my MOM has been here since Saturday and took this whole week off to "help". Plus, my in-laws are descending on us for T-giving next week. I thought I'd have more than a couple of days to settle in with new baby before they're here. Sigh. I'm going to try really hard not to stress because there's nothing I can do about any of it. I'm just going to be here for my daughter as much as I can.

Secretly hoping the castor oil doesn't work so I can see how long I'd go on my own. But I want to try everything because of the family circumstances. Geez!

[PicnicBear]

nataliekat --sorry to hear about your inlaws, what a drag. I hope you get a long with them OK. Maybe you should just cancel T-giving if you need to.

FSM -- great news of the BPP -- the NST is just EFM like they would do in triage, the doppler to get the heartbeat and the other band around you to detect contractions, then I am supposed to tell them when I feel the baby move and they look for how the heart rate responds -- of course I haven't had it yet but that is my understanding of what it is and I will let you know tomorrow how it actually goes. That's great that it sounds like everyone is in agreement that there is nothing to be concerned about, so you just keep waiting then, I guess.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Well, and I did make an appointment for an acupuncture treatment tomorrow at 9:30 am...we'll see how it goes!

My MIL also told me tonight that my husband was 9lbs 10oz at birth, and that's why she needed to be induced. Yeeeha, I needed THAT bit of information. It doesn't matter, right? Right?! Right.

[PicnicBear]

Hmm -- yeah, I can see how that little bit of info would be something you might just rather not know. "Lucky" for me, my MIL didn't even see a doctor til months into her pregnancy and doesn't remember much about the births, so there is not really anything she can tell me, especially in terms of if she were early or late, whatever -- I'm sure she has no idea.

[majazama]

Originally Posted by MamaFern

now that my EDD has come and gone (sigh) people have'nt been calling as much. i dunno how i feel about that. i feel like im making people unhappy by making them wait. my MIL and SIL came to town over a week ago and now say they cant stay longer if i dont have baby soon.. which is fine and i understand, but i feel like im under this pressure and its not helping me feel calmer..........

I'm the SIL here
Fern, we are trying our best to be patient, but I can speak as all the family members of all the pregnant women when I say that we phone or email beause we CARE, and want you to feel like we care, not like you have been forgotten. We are going to go up to Barriere over the weekend, so no pressure for you. The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable with us waiting around. I had an unasissted birth, so I know all about doing what I felt comfortable with, as a pregnant women. It's tough waiting, but then again, the majority of women do go over their "due dates", right? My two were 6 days and 9 days overdue, repectively.

(i'll dissappear now, but thought I should say something)

[MamaFern]

thanks jazz

[flapjack]

Yep. Checking in too: but quite frankly, I'm finding it easier to count the days until December (13) or Christmas (37) or something, rather than think about babies any more. I'm just terrified that little Pebbles or Bambam is going to turn up on Alex's birthday.