I am struggling - is that so wrong?

[MommyMine]

I know I am struggling.

I have PPD. There is no question...they gave me meds. I am seeing a therapist but is it really wrong? I mean isn't it normal to have some moodiness and crying? Isn't it normal to feel overwhelmed when I have two children under three?

I haven't started taking the drugs.

I feel so mixed...I feel like this is part of being a mom and I just need to get through it. I know it will pass. I know it will.

I am not going to kill myself or my kids just embarras myself crying.

My husband maybe furusterated with my moodyness but frankly I am a bit irked with his lack of help so there!

Everyone wants me to just take the drugs but I just don't know if that is really the answer.

Am I just wrong?

[janebug]

no, you're not wrong. I wasn't diagnosed but i definitely had something for a long time and I think i'd be like you about the pills. I don't know, they are for some people and not for others. take care of yourself and go easy on yourself. If you feel like the pills might help, go ahead but if you don't want to take them, don't feel pressured.

[paquerette]

If you feel like your quality of life won't be improved by taking the pills, then don't take them. I would not medicate myself for someone else's comfort.

[MommyMine]

I think the drugs would make it easier...I think I would be more "flat" and less emotional. But I think that these emotions--aren't they here for a reason? I am very passionate...but that also means I am fiercly protective of my children and I am anxious but also very alert and aware of potential danger.

Is it all so wrong that I feel these things? Isn't this just part of the process?

I don't mind if someone else takes them...and I know some people are a heck of a lot more incapacitated than I am.

I just feel like if I shed a tear or become a bit snipish suddenly everyone thinks I need drugs. What about a hug? What about some understanding? I mean I have a lot on my plate here....shouldn't I be snipish and shouldn't I be a bit teary?

We wouldn't insist something was "wrong" with with me if I cried out during labor but if I cry out after the baby is born suddenly I am "broken" and need to be fixed?

I do not feel myself. I do feel out of sorts- heck I am holding on by a thread here somedays...I am just not sure that that is wrong for me to feel this way.

I do consider leaving...the grass seems a lot greener back in the days before kids...I love my kids, I am not leaving but I fantisize about how easy it was when I could do things alone! I won't kill myself but often I feel like any woman would be a better mother than me....It is hard work and I am frusterated and I don't do as good as I should. As good as I wish I did.

I don't know...I am rambling but I feel like things are not right with me...I do...I know they aren't right with me...but everyone's response is to dope me up not talk to me, care for me, help me. I might not drowned if someone would throw me a freaking life perserver!

[Annikate]

I do not feel myself. I do feel out of sorts- heck I am holding on by a thread here somedays...I am just not sure that that is wrong for me to feel this way.

Of course it's not wrong for you to feel that way! I feel that way too sometimes. The thing about meds (antidepressants) is that they can restore what's off balance in your brain chemistry. Depression has nothing to do w/a person's character, morality, or willpower; it's a problem w/the way your brain processes chemicals.
Antidepressants helped me feel like "myself" again & what a relief that was! Do I still have weepy days, stressed out days, days where I have little-to-no
patience? Of course. That is the way of life. Antidepressants will not take away your ability to feel & experience all the emotions of life, but they may help you to handle them better.
IMO if you do not feel like "yourself" & you recognize there's a problem, why not try them & see if it makes a difference? You can always stop taking them. BTW it can take a few weeks to see any effects & sometimes you have to try 1 or 2 to see which will work best for you.
hth!