Circumcision Decision!?? - Page 2

[Live~Laugh~Love]

I did it with my 4yo DS. I didnt check the pro's/con's. Now I did some research and found out that my ds didnt cry during the circ....because he passed put from the pain..They did not give him any pain meds and he passed put. I have to live with that, I feel bad...Words cannot explain the pain I feel for causing him that pain.... I will never do it again. Do some research mama.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by hannahi

I'm wondering if we do have a boy and choose to have him circumcized, is the procedure less risky after a certain age?

I'm not sure if the risk is associated with age as much as with who performs the circumcision and under what circumstances. Older children are more likely to be anesthetized if the circ is performed in a hospital, while in many places newborns aren't. ( : ) There would be the usual risks that apply to anesthesia, but not the pain risks, kwim? With a much older child/teenager, I would think that there would be less chance of removing too much skin because the anatomy would be clearer, and the pain associated would be different because a child that age would have a lot more input into the decision. There are countries where circumcision is performed as a coming of age rite, around puberty, and most men who have been circ'd under such circumstances (npi) view the experience as a positive one, regardless of whether or not they were anesthetized.

If you do choose to have a religious circumcision ceremony, your best bet is to do your research. Many traditional ceremonies have pain control built in, right along with the meaning and ceremony. Find out how it is traditionally done, who performs the ceremony, etc, etc. Ask family members how it went for their sons, cousins, and brothers. You could easily have your fears put to rest.

[jenny-g]

Originally Posted by hannahi

I don't know if this is the appropriate place to ask, but I'm wondering if we do have a boy and choose to have him circumcized, is the procedure less risky after a certain age?
Hannah

I agree with the other posters on here, definitely. I did want to add that for an infant, the foreskin doesn't retract- part of the terrible, painful part of the circumcision is the *peeling off* of the foreskin from the glans. (shuddder). For that reason alone, if someone must get it done, I'm sure it is *much* better to get it done later in life. Also, by then, as the rates in the US are dropping, the child/parents might just not want it anymore.

I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I don't think a religious reason is a "compelling" reason to get anyone circumcised. It's wrong, period, and just saying a religion says it's right does not make it right. Religion says the horror that is female circumcision is right- and it's obvious to most of the civilized world that that's not the case. Sometimes humanity and modern knowledge have to trump certain religious practices, and I think (and hope) more and more often religious practices (like the briss) are being modified to take recent knowledge into account. Mutilating infants .. isn't that the place to draw the line?!

[hairpin]

Hope this isn't inflammatory to anyone. It's not supposed to be.

Well... Let me start out by saying that I initially wanted my son circumcised, mostly because I didn't want him ostracized by women for looking different. I don't think men don't really care one way or another. But as a women in the US and not having been with an uncirc'd man, I thought it would be just weird for other women, since I had a hard time picturing it myself. I know in other countries, it's standard to be left intact. But in the US and in my age group, it's more rare.

Anyways, after browsing through some websites and learning more about how the intact penis works, I'm pretty sure that I want to leave my son intact and hell it's pretty neat. All the heated arguements don't really work on me, so it was helpful to visit doctors' sites to read up about this more. I will not watch a video or ask my husband to, as he is even worse than me as far as being reactionary to too much pressure. So I do need to show him some of these websites, but it will be a slow process. If I do otherwise, he will just stop listening to me.

Also I do think there is an issue with circ'd men's pride on this topic. I'm trying to approach this topic carefully, as I think my husband was initially a bit hurt by my spouting off about the sexual benefits of an intact penis. But I'll be treading lightly here, even though this is the main reason for me to not go circ.

As additional resistance to the circ issue for us, my husband has a friend with an intact penis who was very unhappy that his parents chose this for him. I believe he went and got a circ as an adult. But I thought I would just mention this, since my husband uses this as fuel for his fire in his arguement for circ.

I will keep trying though.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by jenny-g

I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I don't think a religious reason is a "compelling" reason to get anyone circumcised. It's wrong, period, and just saying a religion says it's right does not make it right. Religion says the horror that is female circumcision is right- and it's obvious to most of the civilized world that that's not the case. Sometimes humanity and modern knowledge have to trump certain religious practices, and I think (and hope) more and more often religious practices (like the briss) are being modified to take recent knowledge into account. Mutilating infants .. isn't that the place to draw the line?!

It doesn't sound weird, it sounds like the beginnings of a discussion that does not belong in this forum.

[tiffer23]

I had totally forgotten about this until right now, so I wanted to add it!

When DH and I were square in the middle of the big circumcision debate I made a deal (of sorts...) with him that we could have the baby and NOT circumcise him and wait a bit of time, like a year. The main reason I used was that circumcision can make a baby refuse to nurse and that was just too important to me, and DH knew that. After he hit a year then we could re-evaluate the situation. If DH still wanted it done, we could consider that and if it had to happen the baby would at least have gotten to nurse for a year.

NOW, I did this knowing full well that after an entire year taking care of our child with an intact penis, he wasn't even going to remember circumcising him was an issue. But that said, 2 years after the conversation we're pregnant with our first who won't be circumcised no matter what. He has done the research and knows whats best for our son (if this is a boy). If your husband thinks you're letting him make the decision, or at least no completely blocking out his opinion it works a LOT better for you!

[RImomma]

We didn't circumcise our first ds, and we won't if this baby is boy either...We have decided it's just not necessary. Ds has not had any problems at all since we brought him home from the hospital.

[Black Orchid]

Not a decision that we are planning to make for our child if we are blessed with a boy. My DH felt very strongly about circing until I showed him some of the video links from the circ board. Now he is with me, thank goodness. I have never felt that is was right, even before I educated myself about it.

[Stayathomemommy]

i guess i didnt post my question very clearly because i didnt really get the kind of feed back that i was hoping for. oh well. you never quite know how a post is going to go. There is no question whether we will or will not circ. we are not going to. i just want it to be OUR decision and not just mine. when his folks ask why we didnt, and i know they will say something, i want him to say "WE decided it wasnt something WE wanted to do" NOT "Angela doesnt want it done". anyway thanks to those of you who gave me links to other places to find more info and thanks to those who talked about how best to talk to your husband. so far i have been very sensitive in the way i talk to him about the issue. i just hope to find some good info on why doctors are saying its not medically advisable anymore and print it off for my hubby to read. thanks all.

[Earthylady]

I haven't heard a peep about it since I emailed a link to Dr. Sears' article on circumcision. http://askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp

It wasn't graphic or anything...just stated the lack of medical reason for it and came right out and said it shouldn't be done just so he looked like you. We are Christian...but as far as I'm concerned...physical circumcision is not a part of our faith. And religious reasons were the only ones Dr. Sears suggested to be a good reason to have it done.

Mandy

[nighten]

Despite my DH being circumcised, we both decided early on that if we had a boy, we would NOT cut him.

DH is sad over the loss of what could have been for him -- he even at one point looked into reconstruction, but decided not to do it. (I was relieved because it's a long and painful process -- but it was his choice and I would have been supportive if he'd decided to go for it.)

Good luck, and I hope you let your little boy decide for himself when he's a man. That's how it should be, IMO.