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Most embarassing thing your dc said/did... - Page 7

post #121 of 230
I am just lovin' this thread, keep 'em coming! Here's my recent experience with DD last weekend, though not as funny as the pp's...My DH and I try to sleep in every chance we get, and we do so in the buff. DD is six and on this particular weekend we were expected at MIL's for my baby shower but Dh and I just could'nt resist milking the morning for more snuggle time, all the while DD pestering us to get out of bed. Sooo we get to MIL's finally and making the dramatic entrance for us, DD announces super loud "MY MOMMY AND DADDY HUGGED NAKED IN THE BED ALL MORNING!!!", then she follows with "they always want to make "sexy" in the shower". HUH?
post #122 of 230

Well, there is nothing more embarrassing than hearing yourself come out of your child's mouth.

We were in line at the post office - which here is sssssslllllllooooooooowwwww and always has 50 people in line.: So DD and I are in line, and of course the place is SILENT because God forbid anyone talk to each other - like in an elevator. So after about 10 minutes my DD lets out this dramatic sigh and says in a LOUD voice "UGH! BAMMIT! (her word for dammit) IS ANYONE WORKING HERE OR WHAT?!?" Most of the people laughed and some old people gave me stink eye.

IN target we were shopping and she and a rather large woman bumped into each other in the toy isle, and the nice lady patted her on the head and said "Oh, I am sorry sweetie." and my darling DD replied "That's OK. You're squishy!" thankfully thre lady was nice and got a good laugh out of it.
post #123 of 230
These are so funny, I have to post mine.

We live in a very rural area so it is no big deal if my ds pees outside, however my brother lives in a large city. My mom, kids and I went to visit him last summer when ds was 4. He has a very nice park near his house so we walked the kids over to it one afternoon. Ds runs ahead of us and gets to the park first. Then right in the middle of the park in front of a family with 5 little girls ds drops his pants and starts peeing. My mom handled it great. when we got to him she pulled his pants up and said to the mom of the little girls "we're not from around here" and we walked away. He will never live that down.
post #124 of 230
: : : :


DS and I were at a JCPenney Portrait studio to pick pictures last summer. It was really crowded and DS and I had been waiting in line quite awhile. When we got up to the counter the man at the cashier next to us was Jamaican. He had beautiful dark skin and a rich, melodic Jamaican accent. He really got DS's attention. DS yelled out really LOUD "Hey look mom! A chocolate man!!!!"
post #125 of 230
This is great!!

We tend to take "family showers". Me, DH, DD, and DS. Well one cold winter evening DH and I were talking after dinner about taking a fam shower and DD, 4 at the time, asked Grandma, who was visiting, if she wanted to take a family shower with us. We all had a good laugh about that one.
post #126 of 230
This one is from a friend of mine who is a single mom. She was in labor with her 2nd dd and had no one to watch her 1st dd as everyone was at work and she has no family near by except for her mom who was also her labor coach. So her dd1 watched pretty much everything. For the next few months, her dd1 would would tell everyone who would listen "SISSY CAME OUT MOMMY'S POTTY!" She was just turned 2 so her words weren't always clear so people often asked her again just to make sure they heard it right. "I SAAAAAIIIID, SISSY CAME OUT MOMMY'S POTTY! IT DID, I SAW IT!"
post #127 of 230
Once when my DS was potty training he took off running down the halway at the Y, I was hustling behind him but thought he was just escaping and not headed for the bathroom. Untill all these people started coming around the corner looking worried and saying who's litle boy is that? I come around the corner to find DS has pulled down his pants and is getting ready to poo on the floor. I managed to grab him and run tt he can just in time. On the other hand it was one of the few times peoplehave sorrectly identified him as a boy!

And once he insisted on going on and on about a larger boys "nursies in the hotub. Fortunatly the guy could not really hear him and I got the hell out of there.
post #128 of 230
These are awesome! I actually called DH on his cell to read him some since DS is his first and he hasn't gotten the joys of that yet.

When DD was little she would always ask very loudly if I was going pee or poo when we were in public restrooms.

When she was about 2 she almost had an accident that really scared me and I yelled "Oh sh!t". Well for a few months after that she would walk around saying "Oh sh!t, oh sh!t, oh sh!t". Didn't live that one down for around.

Also, when she little she pronouced fish just like b!t(h. So you can imagine the looks that got us pretty much every where we saw fish. Ugh
post #129 of 230
These are just hilarious! I've read more than half of them to DH after gales of laughter. Thanks whomever resurrected this thread!
post #130 of 230
Originally Posted by OakBerry

When he was much younger he would point to any man in the vicinity and say "Daddy"! One time he kept saying it to the teenage boy bagging groceries at the supermarket, and the kid was purple with embarrassment. I wasn't that embarrassed (used to it by now) but I felt bad for the teenager, and was trying not to laugh for his sake!
Oh, man! My ds used to do that too! Every single man he saw, he'd stretch his arms out and shout "DADDY!" with a big grin on his face.

I used to put cool cloths on my head when I had a headache. A few days after dd was born, we had to have some electrical work done in our kitchen. So the electician is there, and I'm sitting on the couch with the baby, and DS walks out of our bedroom, just as the electrician is coming out of the kitchen, with one of my jumbo-sized maternity pads stuck to his forehead. "I got a headache, Mama!" The electrician cracked up, "So that's what those are for!"
post #131 of 230
Looks like I came across and oldie but goodie! I randomly found this thread when I was looking for something else, and it is one of the funniest things I've ever read!!

Anyone have anything else embarrassing to add?
post #132 of 230
I'll add one. Not embarrassing for me. (Or for my DH who it could have been embarrassing for-he thought it was hilarious.)

DD was going potty today and asked for us to wipe her bum. DH went in there, wiped her, flushed and then sat down to go himself. He was teasing her and said "The seat's still cold-why didn't you warm it up?" She said (complete with the appropriately sized hand movements) "I only have a leetle bum, daddy. You have a BIG bum. And I have a leetle vulva and you have a leetle, leetle, leetle penis."

For the record, so my DH doesn't kill me, he thinks she should have switched the adjectives on his body parts.
post #133 of 230
Originally Posted by Balanced Mama View Post
I once heard that you should tell your children the correct names for everything. And since my kids tend to find all sorts of things in our house, they learned a lot of names. Unfortunately, my son, who was about eighteen months at the time, was terrified of a large, white, noisy, cylinder-shaped heater at a friend's house. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Big scary tampon!" To him, that was the shape of the heater. The older kids thought it was hillarious.
That is such a good story.... I am still laughing.
post #134 of 230
Originally Posted by Sheena View Post
When ds was just two my Dad died and we were in the car on the way home from the memorial service in a car packed with funeral goers, family friends, etc... Well, a car passed us and little ds raises his tiny fist, shakes it, and says, "Slow down, a**hole!"
I sat quietly, hoping no one would notice. Of course, everyone did and cracked up.

And then just about a year ago we were in a big teaching supply store on a super crowded saturday when ds, then 5, found the giant map rug in the middle of the store. He stands on Florida and shouts at full volume: "LOOK MOM! I'M STANDING ON AMERICA'S WANG!!!" Dh and I nearly died.
OMG, I'm crying now.... this is too funny.
post #135 of 230
well I got 2 stories one we decided to go the mid-night service at church so the girls could open their presants right away in the mourning. We figured they would fall asleep right away When jane fell asleep I took them bk to the nurcery Jennifer would not fall asleep their was a tv in the nurcery and I turned it on to see if that would help. There were not to many kid channels on. Then all of the sudden she says stop mommy and sceams at the top of her lungs "LOOK MOMMY THEIR HAVING SEX" they were actully kissing and I said hunny were did u learn that mommy u and daddy do it all the time. it just so happened the hole chuch was quiet and it echoed.

The next one was Jane asked mommy can i have a quarter she goes to the bathroom real quick i wait by the carts and she comes out mommy look at my cool sticker and had a pad sticking on her chest .
post #136 of 230
Originally Posted by LadyMarmalade View Post
Very loudly (bordering on hysterical), in a crowded toystore:

"But I NEEEEEED a new toy because you said I'm not allowed to play with my penis outside anymore."
LOL! That's men- forever!
post #137 of 230
Christmas morning... my son unwraps presents. He is tired, he is overwhelmed... he is hungry. He opens his doll house and starts to check it out. He says, "... hey, there is no bed or tables" (ironically, he was sitting next to the present WITH the bed, tables, etc in it). I say, "I guess you will just have to use your imagination!" in an excited voice. My son furrows his brow and says "bitch".

Our family NEVER says things like this, or any name calling at or about people. I pulled my son away to our room right away, and he and daddy and I had an hour conversation before starting over. But still.... Sheesh. I am so grateful that it is just us for Christmas (no extended family). We know our kiddo... and this in no why had to ruin his/our day. But if this had been in front of my husband's family, it would have totally annihilated the Christmas day and tailspinned the rumors, the "he needs spanked" etc.

... That boy, that boy.
post #138 of 230
Loving this thread!

Ds1 and I go to the (indoor) swimming pool in town frequently. A while ago we had just started showing him how to retract his foreskin and clean his penis. Well, one day under the shower -they're right next to the pool - I took off his swim trunks to wash him, and he demonstrated the foreskin retraction, loudly announcing "You don't have a glans, mama!"

Same pool, different day, in the crowded communal dressing room, reaching for my breasts:"How are your mammies (his word for breast/nursing)?" I try to change the subject and softly tell him this is not a good place to talk about that. "But I just wanted to pet them!"
post #139 of 230
When my ds1 was around 2 we were grocery shopping when he started staring at a woman in the store. Now my son had been around people of many races, including family members( we are white and NA) and my best friend was philipino, this woman happened to be black(although when I noticed him staring at her I looked around and there were at least two other black women in the store that he didn't even look twice at) I was assuming he was staring at her because of her race because I couldn't see why else but I was wondering why then he wasn't interested in anyone else there. I was trying to figure out an age appropriate way to explain that people come in all colors and that it isn't polite to stare when he yelled "look mom, klingon!" I wasn't expecting that. Then I looked at the woman that he had been staring at to make sure she didn't hear that(she didn't) but that's when I noticed she did look kind of like Lt. Worf
My lesson I learned that day was to never assume you know what a two year old is thinking.
post #140 of 230
When my dd(now 5) was a toddler and still nursing she would constantly grab my breasts when I pushed her around in a grocery cart. I didn't really mind that much because she was just being sweet and loving, but people would look away embarassed.
More recently she brought home some paper gingerbread men that she made in Kindergarten. My DH and I were so embarassed when we noticed that they all had penises.
..My dd and I were out shopping at the grocery store. An elderly woman stopped in the middle of the isle and just ripped a big one right in front of us. My daughter looked up at me stunned for a moment and then bust out laughing and said really loud "Mama that lady farted so loud!"
My dd also has the habbit of asking me if I farted when we are at the checkout line. The first time the man checking us out turned bright red. I think dd does it just to embarrass me.lol
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