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Most embarassing thing your dc said/did... - Page 5

post #81 of 230
OMG - these are HILARIOUS! My DD came and asked what I was laughing about...

We were going to the bathroom at Nordstrom and I had to change my tampon, so DD announces to everyone, "WOW MOMMY! YOU MADE A BIG POOP!" ugh. LOL.

We were at Target and DD and another rather robust woman bumped into one another. THe nice lady said "Oh I am so sorry sweetie!" and DD replied "that's OK, you're squishy." OMG. Thank God the lady had a sense of humor and cracked up.
post #82 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckylady
We were at Target and DD and another rather robust woman bumped into one another. THe nice lady said "Oh I am so sorry sweetie!" and DD replied "that's OK, you're squishy."
:
post #83 of 230
Thread Starter 
OK- I just had to add another one (that squishy one reminded me...) It doesn't involve MY kiddo but a dear freinds and my mom.

My friend's son was over, he was about 6 and he was more of a round child coming from a proud and round family. My mom was sitting at the table and he comes over to her, takes a big handful of her upper thigh - wiggles and jiggles it back aand forth and says "Mmmmmmm....fluffy" With this dreamy look on his face. Later, I cracked up telling his mom the story and she relayed that he has a thing for soft, fluffy women!
post #84 of 230
these are to die for! I practically woke the baby last night i was laughing so hard!
post #85 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by G&B'sMama
So I ran to the bathroom with 2 ½ year old DD in tow and made it just in time to get to the toilet. After a minute or so DD starts making these gagging noises and says “Mama, that’s a big stinky poo-poo” over and over again really loudly. The bathroom was in the back right next to where a scrapbooking class was going on. I could hear every word they were saying. I am trying to shush her and she starts saying

“I want out, its too stinky in here, help me get out help me!”
: : : ... : ...
post #86 of 230
I wasn't going to post really as my son hasn't done anything to embarass me, until I came across this one:
Quote:
My 4 yr son told our African-American neighbor that he had a mean face. The man laughed and said why he thought he had a mean face? My son said, "Look how dark it is" (!).
and I remembered.....my ds was 3 and my uncle (well really just very close friend of the family) was outside mowing his lawn. So we went over for a visit, and they played for a while, when it was time to go my uncle asked Isaac for a high five...and Isaac said 'no way, you're dirty'..oh I was just mortified : Luckily he's an older man and has many neices and nephews and Isaac hasn't been the first one to say that. I tried to have a little talk with him but I'm not sure he understood
post #87 of 230
At restaurant, when PG with #3 DS tells the waitress, "My dad gave my mom 3 sperms!"

Same restaurant, same day, same waitress, after a trip to the potty, DD1 tells waitress, "My mama made a poop...a BIG one!"

I never see that waitress there anymore...
post #88 of 230

Bump

:
post #89 of 230
another
post #90 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by keeksmom
At around age 3 my dd fixated on the word "penis". She just enjoyed saying it. One day, riding in the shopping cart, she loudly announced to the checkout person and everyone else in line, "My mommy has a PENIS!".






post #91 of 230
At the airport a few weeks, my DS -- who has seen me naked thousands of times, is always in the bathroom with me, showers with me, etc -- decided at that moment, in the public restroom, while I was squatting over a toilet, to ask me, "Why do you have hair on your peepee?" It was so funny....more funny than embarrassing I guess. I told him that's what happens when you grow up...of course he answered back with, "Will I get hair on my peepee when I grow up too?" Please keep in mind my son's only voice volume level is LOUD.
post #92 of 230
these are HILARIOUS!
post #93 of 230
On that subject...DS has asked me if his sister will grow her penis when she gets older.
post #94 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by keeksmom
At around age 3 my dd fixated on the word "penis". She just enjoyed saying it. One day, riding in the shopping cart, she loudly announced to the checkout person and everyone else in line, "My mommy has a PENIS!".
Wow- I can see that being my son soon!

My son is fascinated by the whole potty process, and by the fact that mommy seems to be missing a penis. He showers with me almost daily and every day he looks, shakes his head, sighs and says, "Mama, no penis" Like he is soooo sorry for the unfortunate condition of not having a penis . But he follows every family member into the potty and watches while they go, and comments on whether or not they seem to have a penis, and talks about it to that family member for days afterward. He has (so far) not commented on the whole lack-of-penis thing in public, but its only a matter of time...
post #95 of 230

An excerpt from the "Big Book of Kyllianisms"

We put together a book of some of the crazy things that our kids say for Christmas presents this year. Here are a few excerpts form the "Big Book of Kyllianisms"



“Sh%&!”, I exclaimed, one day after dropping something on my foot in Walmart. Kyllian was quick to point out my naughtiness. Over and over and over again.

“Mommy, you shouldn’t say sh%&. Sh%& is a bad word. It isn’t nice to say sh%&. Instead of sh%& you should say Tarter Sauce because sh%& is a bad word. Don’t say sh%& anymore. Sh%& isn’t nice to say.”

“Okay, Kyllian,” I responded while half the store looked at us in amazement. “I won’t say that anymore but you shouldn’t say it either.”

“But, Mommy,” he replied, “I didn’t say sh%&. You said sh%& and that’s bad!”

________________________________________

Another favorite

One evening while playing with a young female friend, Kyllian marches into the kitchen and announces, “Mommy, I need a new bi*@h.”

Shocked, we ask him to repeat himself. He again, plainly states, “I need a new bi*@h!”. At that point, I looked at him and said, “You need a new what?”. “A new BI*@H!” he replied pointing in the direction of his young female playmate.

Completely dumbfounded, the young girl’s mother and I stand there trying not to laugh.

Then it is daddy to the rescue!

He responds to Kyllian, asking, “You need a new BENCH?”
“UM, YEAH…” replies Kyllian in an irritated tone of voice.

_________________________________________

One more for good measure

One afternoon while riding in the car, I was explaining to Drake that daddy would be putting him on the bus on the upcoming Friday. After asking me why, I explaining that Kyllian had to go to the doctor’s so they could take pictures of his brain to make sure it was all working well. Kyllian, being in a bad mood, piped in at the top of his lungs with, “I don’t have a brain!”.
After nearly running the car off the road due to laughter, I simply said yes you do and we will have pictures to prove it on Friday.

When the time came for Kyllian’s MRI, we were in the waiting room and he was playing. The appointment was very early in the morning and we were the only people in the hospital, so when the doctor came into
get us Kyllian knew the doctor was there for him. Before the doctor could open his mouth to speak, Kyllian stood up in the middle of the room,
planted his feet on the floor, hands on his hips and screamed, ”I DON’T HAVE A BRAAAAIIIIIIN!!!!!!” This was so loud that the nurses down the hall heard
him and got quite a giggle out of it. The doctor, who turned out to be the anesthesiologist, laughed and said, “Well, I can see you’re gonna be a handful.”


Sorry for such a long post but I just couldn't pick my favorite.
post #96 of 230
My tummy hurts from laughing so hard!!!!

Quick one, I have been staying at my mom's house lately and I borrowed a pair of her jammie pants. Well, I'm on the petite side and, well, my mom isn't. So I'm standing in the kitchen making toast and talking to my mom and whoops, I guess ds2 REALLY wanted my attantion because there go the pants straight to the floor. My mom was laughing so hard I thought she was going to wet herself.
post #97 of 230
These are so funny! I know, not for y'all involved, but I'm

When dd was about 1, she figured out how to pull her diaper off and would do so at every opportunity, especially if she was wearing a dress. Usually I would catch her in the act or right after, replace it, and say "please keep your diaper on," but she still did it whenever she got the chance. She didn't take off any other items, mind you, just the diaper.

So I was going to a function to meet a politician, who will remain unnamed for everyone's benefit, and I brought dd along. She was riding in the stroller, so I somehow missed her taking her diaper off, and wearing a long dress, so I didn't notice afterwards. I meet the politician, and I'm really impressed because he knows who I am. So we're talking about my work, I say I'm looking forward to voting for him, all that good stuff. He asks to pick up dd (bonus points from me for asking!), because, you know, all pols have to kiss babies. He picks up dd, and she lifts up her dress, no diaper, and pees all over him. The poor man's shirt was *soaked.* It was like she'd been waiting for the perfect moment.

Fortunately, everyone reacted well, but I still wanted to quietly slink away...
post #98 of 230
Very loudly (bordering on hysterical), in a crowded toystore:

"But I NEEEEEED a new toy because you said I'm not allowed to play with my penis outside anymore."
post #99 of 230
:

Ramlita - thank you for bumping this thread. I needed a few good laughs!
post #100 of 230
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by amseiler
“Sh%&!”, I exclaimed, one day after dropping something on my foot in Walmart. Kyllian was quick to point out my naughtiness. Over and over and over again.

“Mommy, you shouldn’t say sh%&. Sh%& is a bad word. It isn’t nice to say sh%&. Instead of sh%& you should say Tarter Sauce because sh%& is a bad word. Don’t say sh%& anymore. Sh%& isn’t nice to say.”

“Okay, Kyllian,” I responded while half the store looked at us in amazement. “I won’t say that anymore but you shouldn’t say it either.”

“But, Mommy,” he replied, “I didn’t say sh%&. You said sh%& and that’s bad!”
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