Please reassure me! Toddler life will smooth out...

[Mom2Adam]

Hi momma -

I have a 2.5 yr old DS who tends to be intense. Just recently I am feeling a little worried about his intensity and how the heck I am going to have a baby too! (Maybe the fact that he woke up 12 times last night to nurse has something to do with it.... )

DS would rather hang out with me then do anything else...he seldom gets involved with his toys or his playroom, watches very little tv (which we want!), and wants my constant attention.

If I am on the phone, he screams and then tells me "Mommy, I am yelling because I want you to get off the phone". If DH is tallking to me, DS yells and says "I am yelling, because I love you."

Nothing we say, try, do has changed this behavior! I take him outside frequently ( at least twice a day for big walks, playtime, soccer ball kicking etc). His energy level completely exceeds his friends energy levels. We encourage jumping into piles of pillows, running around the circle in our house. We are getting him a mini trampoline for Christmas.

We have lots of cool activities, drawing, etc. Really he prefers to help me in the kitchen or folding laundry etc.

What am I trying to say....I think I am just worried his level of intensity will remain where it is and I can't imagine having a nursing newborn while it is like this (not to mention the night time waking!).

Really, just reassure me that 6 months is a long time and my little guy's life and that lots can change by then....

Thanks -
Traci

[nmm2112]

Hi! I"m a Mom to an Adam Too!
Anyhow, my Adam was 18mths when Kate was born and I was suprised how easy the transition actually was. The first few months newborns (hopefully) are so easy to keep happy. What worked best for us was having her in a hands-free type sling (so she could sleep/hangout nurse) and I could continue to give Adam my almost full attention.
Not to say we didn't have a few bumps, but just take a deep breath because it'll all work out!

And you'll be surprised in how your little man matures - you know how fast they go through these toddler stages! By May he'll be on to other things that'll worry you!

Just keep going!

[luckylady]

Yes, they change a LOT from 2-1/2 to 3. My DD is also very intense so I share in your worry, but I know she will change a lot from 3-1/2 to 4.

[Mamatoto2]

My DD is 2 years, 9 mos. and she's been similarly challenging as of late. A lot of limit testing, walking the line between independence and dependence, etc. It is VERY difficult at times to take her out of the house/run errands because she might just REFUSE to get in her carseat which leaves us with either a wrestling match (and she's crazy strong) or a power struggle in which I have to wait 30-45 min. in a parking lot before she'll sit in the carseat so we can go home or she might just run away from me at the store, or insist that I carry her (because she won't ride in the cart and doesn't want to walk-she stops to look at something every 5 seconds), and I tell you, it's not easy to be pushing a cart and carrying a 30lb+ kid while pg.

Some days are fine, others aren't, and most are a mix. I keep telling myself that it's a phase and will pass in a few months. I'm sure that is the case, and I'm sure that the case is magnified in part by her awareness that there is a change on the horizon in the family (and at this age, I think they have a better sense of that then they would if they were younger).

Hang in there, it has GOT to get better!

[Mom2Adam]

Mama T - I really needed to hear that! It is nice to hear from a mommy with the same age toddler - and see that what my DS is up to is "normal"!

Oh, the past two days he has suddenly decided that markers are for walls or floor or anywhere except paper! Yesterday we had to put the markers away - which was very traumatic - but he insisted that he was going to write on the walls! Here was our conversation:

"A, markers are not for the walls, I see that you are getting ready to write on the wall. Please use the paper." ME

"But I am going to write on the wall." A

"Markers are not for the walls. You must use the paper or markers will be put away." ME

"But I am going to write on the wall." A proceeds to go into another room to write on the wall.

I follow and tell him - "It is time for the markers to go away. You can play with them later when you are ready to use paper."

Tantrum!

Today, A "Mommy can I play with the markers."

ME "Yes"

A climbs under the kitchen table with the marker and starts to write on the floor.

ME "Aaaaaa - Markers are for paper. Do we need to put these away again?"

A - "Well, I am going to draw on the floor."

ME "I will need to pu them away then. Maybe you are not ready to play with markers for away until you are a little older...."

A "I do need to be older. Put them away."

Can you believe this! Still - I imagine this conversation while I am nursing a baby in a glider and then getting up to chase the marker fiend around the house while baby is still attached!

Still, thanks for the support mamas.

[newmainer]

oh wow... does is sound bad to say that i am glad others are going through this too? or rather... i'm glad i'm not the only one. My dd, 2 yr, 4 months, is into *major* limit testing right now. on the good days, i can use games and playful parenting to: get her poopy diaper changed in under the usual 30 minutes, get clothes on her body in under 45 minutes, and distract her from wanting to climb over the hearth gate toward the (burning!) fire. But you know, on days when the hormones are kicking in... well, lets just say the growing bulge on my belly doesn't inspire warm fluffy thoughts on the future!!

i too am hoping that 6 months will make a big difference. plus, it will be getting warm and she can be outside and i wont' have to deal with clothes !