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Wrong baby circumcised! Yes, it DOES happen... - Page 3

post #41 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama
I had my daughter 27 months ago. It was an emergency c/c.
I was told that b/c of the catheter, and the surgery, DD was NOT allowed to be in my room alone with me. Only if DH or someone else was there. For the first 4 days of her life, I was not allowed to bond with her alone/
So, I'm glad you ladies are so adament that yo9u will have home biirths and never let you babies out of your sight. But frankly, I resent the implication that I just didn't bother to do anything about it.
was a first time mother who didn't know I could buck the system.
I was mentally and physically exhausted from 3 days of home labor. And was being chewed out from the hospital ped. So I was afraid to put up a fuss.
I have grown some balls and intent to make my wishes know in the future. But please don't make statememts like I wonder how hard they really tried, because that's just nasty.

s to you Momma. I was like you with my first. I didn't say boo either, (the only balls I had were the ones that had vacated my uterus on the baby boy I delivered earlier that day) I was just lucky that where we live, rooming in is the norm.

Take care,
Tara
post #42 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by calngavinsmom
s to you Momma. I was like you with my first. I didn't say boo either, (the only balls I had were the ones that had vacated my uterus on the baby boy I delivered earlier that day) I was just lucky that where we live, rooming in is the norm.

Take care,
Tara
Where are you?
I'm in Ottawa.
I think rooming in is the way it's done here too, unless you have a c/s.
Live and learn,huh?
post #43 of 106
yes, i am sorry for how much bossier there are to first-time moms (i was hoping it had changed some from when i had my dd almost 19 years ago, but i see they still bully moms when they think they can get away with it.)

the only thing for it is for us old cranky moms they don't dare to pull that crap on, to *let you know*. that's what we're doing. i am sorry they were bastiches.

when i had my c-sec, they were 'funny' about me being alone in the room with baby w/out dh, too. after a major surgery like that, it is a safety/liability thing; they'd rather be uber-careful than have some morphined-out mama fall or drop the baby or whatever. looking at is as 'help', is less aggravating. so when i was still groggy/sore, my dh slept in the room on the couch.

they can examine babies in your room- i'm not saying they won't gripe, but it's not the end of the world if they do. they'll tell you there's not enough light, or it's inconvenient- bugger it. i swear to you, they can figure out a way if you are adamant enough.

it is not your fault you were bullied; it is the fault of the bullies. but now you know, & so do other first time mamas. that's a good thing, right?

susan
post #44 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
Mamas just have to grow balls!!
I certainly hope I never come across one of those. I would be quite shocked to say the least! :



Frank
post #45 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama
Where are you?
I'm in Ottawa.
I think rooming in is the way it's done here too, unless you have a c/s.
Live and learn,huh?
I'm in St.Catharines. I didn't have a c/s but from one woman I knew, who did have one, she roomed in as well....maybe because the babys father was with her? Not sure.

Take care,
Tara
post #46 of 106
How scary, homebirth is looking very good right now-- of course, got to get dh to agree to get pg again before we even go there(-;

I can't imagine- what if the parents hadn't decided yet because one partner didn't want to circ, but everyone else was against her/him? That is goign to be so hard because they are going to have no support on sueing and the family is just going to be like, oh well I guess it was meant to be- or something equally as insulting/stupid.

As for rooming in, I know after my epidural I was also not allowed alone with my ds. One of my legs was knumb and they were worried that I might fall or something trying to get to ds or while holding him. That concern seemed reasonable and luckily my parents were able to stay long enough for the knumbness to go away. I still panicked because my dh had left and my parents were getting ready to leave when they mentioned it--- like I should already KNOW. I just freaked out-- what do you mean you won't let me see my SON-- but then my parents stayed with me till they were satisfied I could manage to walk safely.

Yet another reason to avoid an epidural (and I really tried to, but again, they scared me into thinking it was either c/s or epi)

Also, my midwife advised me to let ds sleep in the nursery the first night because I was so exhausted. I did follow her advise but only because I felt like I was incapable of handling myself in the middle of the night. I so wish I hadn't felt that way, but I did. The darn hospital was so exhausting, I wish I had seen my best bet was to get the heck..ll out of there. I also was unsure about cosleeping- so the whole navigating the bassinete and bed was hard for me to imagine. I was in such pain (from my cut) and no help in the middle of the night. If I had just known to take my ds next to me and sleep sleep sleep.... I wonder what they would have done about that.

What I WISH I had done was beg my mother or dh to stay with me in the hospital. It sucked to be in there alone and to have my ds not with me- but I was so afraid I would be a klutz to him so in some ways he was better off. I've never felt so powerless in my life and it was all self-projected because the hospital and midwives are very supportive, but I just was still in the midst of my learning about things (cosleeping, circ, vaxxing, etc.)

Yep, there's a lot of work to be done to improve the 'birth process'. I still can't believe what I let happen and what others let happen. We hadn't decided yet what to do about circ- so having something accidental happen was on my mind a lot.

Home birth is looking really really good to me now that I know more(-; Ok, rant done.

Jessica
post #47 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama
Where are you?
I'm in Ottawa.
I think rooming in is the way it's done here too, unless you have a c/s.
Live and learn,huh?
I had both of my children via c-section in a Kaiser Permanente Hospital in California and they ENCOURAGED rooming in and that is what I did. Go Kaiser!
post #48 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leaf Mama
But please don't make statememts like I wonder how hard they really tried, because that's just nasty.
It sounds like you did everything you possibly could. I was just wondering whether these other mothers did everything that they possibly could or thought that they had no right to argue. Forgive me for wondering. I honestly don't see what's nasty about that.

I know that not everyone's of the same mindset, or in the same place that we were or anything, but I think that if this had happened to us my DH would probably have knocked someone's teeth down their throat. (Either the accidental circ or the kidnapping.) That was actually pretty high on my worry list, that he would end up assaulting someone.
post #49 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette
It sounds like you did everything you possibly could. I was just wondering whether these other mothers did everything that they possibly could or thought that they had no right to argue. Forgive me for wondering. I honestly don't see what's nasty about that.

I know that not everyone's of the same mindset, or in the same place that we were or anything, but I think that if this had happened to us my DH would probably have knocked someone's teeth down their throat. (Either the accidental circ or the kidnapping.) That was actually pretty high on my worry list, that he would end up assaulting someone.
I'm just very touchy about my whole crappy birth experience.
It was almost 2 1/2 years ago, but just this past week, I was in tears about it.
When I was watching the Today show about the whole ferber thing, and I saw the babies crying in the bassi's by themselves-well I fell apart thinking about all the things I COULD have done, should have done. Then I just got mad and thought I must be so spineless to let some stranger insist on taking my baby away. We all slept in the same bed as soon as we got home, so what was the big deal (except to cover their own asses)?
I just tend to get very defensive about this b/c I really didn't know I could say piss off, leave my baby here-if I need you, I'll ring for you.
Let's just say things will be totally different the next time.
(I couldn't even have a Doula b/c of the whole SARS fiasco-I would have had to choose between her and DH)
Sorry if I got pissy, it's just that when people make blanket statements like that, you can step on toes.
Sandy
post #50 of 106
Just for the record, I was bullied around as a first-time mom, too. So my dd was in the nursery quite a bit. Plus I was in such pain from my episiotomy that I needed the morphine and really couldn't handle taking care of her. It made me feel really powerless, as well.

It was only on my second child (ds)that I went natural (no epidural and no episiotomy!!!) and kept my ds with me the whole time. It was SOOOOO much more empowering ----so I wish very empowering future births to all of you.
post #51 of 106
That is so diffrent to my hospital stays over here. Here they asume your rooming in, and you have to ask if you want your baby taken to the nursary.
With my last c-cection with ds I was mostly left to fend for myself from the second morning and could have done with some more help.
post #52 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemama
When I gave birth to DS2, I was in the hospital room alone with him (DH had gone home for a shower) and a doctor came in and said, "I'm here to circumcise your son." I looked at him and said, "Um..., we're not circumcising him," and he looked at his paperwork and said, "Oh, sorry," and walked out.
This happened to us too, except the nurse had ds 's bassinet half-way out the door before I had the chance to say "WAIT! We're not circumcising!" There was even a stiker on the bassinet reading "infant not to be circ'ed". Sheesh.
DH always went everywhere with ds at the hospital. We were afraid of what else they might do to him.
post #53 of 106
That poor little baby. How awful!

So many sad stories of first births in hospitals. I'm so lucky I found my way to mw care b/f my dd was born.
post #54 of 106

we stay with our babes after the birth.. thankfully...
birthed our last one at a BC in the water... into my hands... it couldn't happen to us.
but that poor child/family
post #55 of 106
Yeah, this whole topic worries me, too...no for circ reasons as we are having a girl...but for vax & formula reasons. I am having a section and hubby can go up, BUT for the hr. I am in recovery they make him wait in my reg. room for me w/ the baby in the nursery. The rest of the time she'll be w/ me but it's that 1st hr. that is freaking me out!!
post #56 of 106
Quote:
BUT for the hr. I am in recovery they make him wait in my reg. room for me w/ the baby in the nursery
Wait... so, you're in recovery alone... your DH is in your hospital room alone... and the babe is in the nursery alone? : I would absolutely fight this tooth and nail. I don't see why your DH and the baby can't be in your hospital room together, or else your DH hanging out in the nursery with the baby if they insist that they need to monitor her. I don't know what it's like with a c birth but I've heard of people having their babies in recovery with them.
post #57 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette
Wait... so, you're in recovery alone... your DH is in your hospital room alone... and the babe is in the nursery alone? : I would absolutely fight this tooth and nail. I don't see why your DH and the baby can't be in your hospital room together, or else your DH hanging out in the nursery with the baby if they insist that they need to monitor her. I don't know what it's like with a c birth but I've heard of people having their babies in recovery with them.
Yeah, makes alot'a sence, right?? : I do plan to fight this, but being on another floor, unable to move...they just do what they want anyhow. Just like I KNOW all my kids got formula in the hospital...some nurses seem to do the oppsite of what the parents want for the sake of being right it seems. I am working on DH also & I think he's starting to see the light more and more...he isn't normally one to "rock the boat." I mean it IS his baby, too...he can just take it to the room & I can't see how they could do a damn thing...or so I believe...I am going to bring it all up with my OB at the next appt.
post #58 of 106
Quote:
Wait... so, you're in recovery alone... your DH is in your hospital room alone... and the babe is in the nursery alone? I would absolutely fight this tooth and nail. I don't see why your DH and the baby can't be in your hospital room together, or else your DH hanging out in the nursery with the baby if they insist that they need to monitor her. I don't know what it's like with a c birth but I've heard of people having their babies in recovery with them.
You need to go directly to nursing and hospital administration. Do NOT let this happen
post #59 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by RNapmomma
You need to go directly to nursing and hospital administration. Do NOT let this happen
Thanks...I am assuming from your ID that you're a RN?? Do you have any tips?? Do you think that behind "closed nursery doors" they do what they want with these babies anyhow?? This is the impression I get though I'd love an "insiders' view!!
I am glad I came to this thread, it's given me alot of motivation!! (Not that I wouldn't have tried anyway...) Maybe it WILL be possible though...
post #60 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette
Wait... so, you're in recovery alone... your DH is in your hospital room alone... and the babe is in the nursery alone? : I would absolutely fight this tooth and nail. I don't see why your DH and the baby can't be in your hospital room together, or else your DH hanging out in the nursery with the baby if they insist that they need to monitor her. I don't know what it's like with a c birth but I've heard of people having their babies in recovery with them.
:
the baby was taken to me in recovery, but there was still that period where they were fixing lovely little details like replacing my bladder. you need to get the papa bear in your dh aroused. they cannot keep your dh from the baby if he insists, not if the baby is healthy & not having emergency major heart surgery or something. you TELL them (nicely!), you don't ask.

in the long run most hospital personnel treat you better if you are assertive (esp about things like bfing, no-circ, rooming-in etc.) they see enough depressed & unresponsive, and/or ignorant & uninvolved mothers that good nurses & peds are thrilled to see fierce happy people who give a damn. (isn't that sad, for society to train you to be a 'good girl' and do as 'they' say, & then like & respect you more for being ballsy- er, ovary-ie? gonadical. )

susan

ps as dear to me as the memory of my vbac babe on my belly before his cord was cut, wet & nuzzly & new, is the knowledge that when my little (well, almost 10 lb ) c-sec guy was in the nursery crying, my dh held his hand & sang to him, & he calmed. he knew his daddy's voice already, you see. tell your dh not to let them steal a memory like that from him.
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