Is Supernanny gd at all???

[mykdsmomy]

I dont know if many of you have seen this show or not....but i've watched a few episodes and I always feel like she's too hard on the kids. I've heard her say more than one time to a mother "you want them close to you for you not for them dont you?" I just get annoyed when I watch it and yet I wonder if she's got something to her discipline style? What do all you wise gd mamas think of this show? Thanks mamas....

[johub]

I think that Supernanny is either just inside our just outside the furthest boundary of what GD is.
She is a vast improvement over much of traditional parenting which is all hitting and yelling or basically not doing anything because parents dont know what to do.
I am a pretty strict style GD mama and I do value good behavior and a reasonable amount of obedience. And Supernanny is way over the top for me. However, given what she has to work with and what she is trying to do, I do think she could be worse.
She does not advocate spanking. yelling or verbal abuse. And just that alone will put her closer to GD than mainstream. (but not really by that much)
It takes much longer to teach a parent how to have more patience and reasonable expectations and not to take their anger out on their kids than it takes to teach a child not to do x behavior.
I have seen the show one time( but not the whole thing) and I choose not to watch it (or the other nanny sow) because it does make me very angry, and I do disagree with much of what she does. And I have read a lot about her methods.
Is she GD enough for me and my kids?
Not at all.
Is she GD for a family who is in the habit of breaking wooden spoons over their toddler's bottom? You bet.
Joline

[bamamom]

she obviously doesn't believe in spanking, and such. In that respect, she has my approval, although, to be honest, she has my awe too.

Sometimes when i see footage of the house she goes into...wow, those kids. Everyone I know would just tear their tails up...and where I live that is totally appopriate socially

[annekevdbroek]

I've watched the show a few times. I think super nanny goes into some really out of control families - where any sort of reasonable parenting is pretty much completely missing. Usually there are 3 or 4 children who all scream at the top of their lungs, fight and harm each other, and are basically "out of control" in the sense that their behavior is really unregulated by themselves and by any external factors (be that parenting or wanting to behave well in situations like dinner time or at school or whatever). This is topped off by parents who are equally out of control with screaming, verbal threats that are inconsistent, and physical punishment, parents who are not on the same page in terms of how to cope, and often one parent who basically "checks out" of the situation.

Enter Super Nanny who has, I think, 5 days to bring about major change. I think her approach is an enormous improvement over the status quo for these families. Given the short period of time she pretty much has to teach some concrete behavioral things that the parents can use (e.g. time out). She does seem to try to get the families focused more on noticing the children doing things correctly, improving communication, etc. then on punishment. She seems to me, as another poster noted, to be on the farthest extreme of GD. That said, she seems to (edited for TV of course) bring these families a long ways towards better parenting in a very short period of time.

I have a PhD in psychology and did some family therapy. Frankly, it was extremely challenging and the family was often very aware of the problems but not able to change/take responsibility/etc. It is very hard working with a group of people. So, I really admire what she does.

[PaxMamma]

i think watching supernanny for parenting advice is like asking a brain surgeon what to do for a headache. she goes into out-of-control situations, places where a good gd'er wouldn't be in the first place, and tries to get things under "control". that being said, i find all of those shows quite disturbing. they belittle co-sleeping, use demeaning resources such as the "naughty chair", and basically use a boot camp style of parenting.

[fly-mom]

I agree that she is going into situations that are so bad that it would be very difficult to use GD the way most of us here think of it.

On the other hand, I have seen quite a few episodes where she is working on the parents perceptions of their kids more than the kids themselves. For example, she will set up a routine for a SAHM or WAHM who has been ignoring their children too much. She will specifically schedule in time for the mom and/or dad to interact with the kid. I guess some parents need to work on this. She encourages communication between the parents and the kids, and I get the idea that she thinks, in many cases, that the parents don't take thier kids seriously and don't really listen to them. A lot of times it seems like the kids on these shows don't have any respect for their parents, and I think the communication she encourages goes a long way towards showing the parents how to regain, or gain, the respect of their kids, and that yelling and spanking are not good ways to do this.

It's not that I agree with every thing she does, but I generally don't think she is as bad as many "hard core" APers think she is. I like to think that more authoritarian parents who might be watching the show for tips might take home the message that listening to your kids and respecting their needs is important.

[sunnysideup]

You must remember that this show is entertainment. They go into a house with cameras and get hours and hours of footage then they edit it down so that the family looks as horrible as possible, and then Nanny comes and performs her miracles and everything's peachy. It's entertainment.

i think watching supernanny for parenting advice is like asking a brain surgeon what to do for a headache.

Getting parenting advice from Supernanny is like getting medical advice from watching ER.

[Rivka5]

I think she's got way too much of a top-down, parent-in-control philosophy for most people on MDC to be comfortable calling her GD. That said, I think that there are a lot of parents who could benefit from her example. She comes down hard on parents for hitting, yelling, and using abusive or belittling language. She strongly emphasizes the importance of playing with your children and having positive experiences together - I have often seen her tell parents that their kids are misbehaving because they're bored, and need more fun and more parental attention.

I wouldn't parent like Supernanny myself, but I have filed away a few of her ideas, like designing play activities for fighting siblings in which everyone needs to cooperate to "win," or giving young children a shopping list to help keep them engaged and behaving well at the supermarket.

[SKK]

Honestly, I've never watched the show.

Last night, I was at my parents' house, with my 3 yo and my 9 mo. My kids and my dad and my sister and I were hanging out in the family room with the TV on. Supernanny was about to come on, and they were showing a preview of "tonights' show". They showed this boy running roughshod over the house, throwing things, climbing on things, breaking things, hitting and kicking his parents, threatening his sister, etc. That was all I needed to see. I said "uh, dad, turn this off." My 3 yo is very susceptible to suggestion right now, and they last thing he needs to see is a little boy acting out like that. I really did not want my ds to think that behavior was *fun* or *OK* or something worth exploring. So I did not watch.

IMHO, reality TV is kind of dumb all around, so I don't watch it!

[phathui5]

I like her because I have friends who spanked often and are starting to implement her techniques because they watched the show.

[shanagirl]

I think this show, like many others, feeds off of the worst voyeurism. It's the whole Oprah phenomenon--swoop in, judge and 'fix'. I think it is feeding off a lot of hostility toward children in general. The show wouldn't work if the children didn't act up so I suspect it is a very manipulative situation--how natural is it for children to have strangers show up and take over their house anyway? From my observation, it's older people who love this show the most. My aunt LOOOVES the show and she is kind of obsessed about how badly the children in our family act. After every get together she is appalled by something some child did ("he took the pillows off the couch and used them like stairs!"). She just thinks children in general are spoiled these days and that parents are too lazy to discipline them, and that's what the Nanny is tapping into. MIL and her friends like the show too.

[Benji'sMom]

I her in a way, because the parents always think their kids are bad, but Supernanny doesn't see them as bad, and she's always pointing out that they act that way b/c they're being neglected, ridiculed, ignored, whatever, by the parents. So the parents finally realize that it's THEM, and not their kids. I wish more parents would realize that. But as far as her discipline techniques, I wouldn't do that to my kids but I guess it's better than the yelling and hitting that these kids were experiencing before.

[DBZ]

I like the show. I don't watch it all that much but I think it is a good thing. I don't agree with every little thing that she does but most of it is good. For example, I didn't see the need to break up a family bed. I thought it was great that she was teaching parents to get their kids to bed at a certain bed time instead of letting them run wild till midnight. There are some creative ideas on the show too like various reward systems that aren't sticker charts.

I work with a group called Parents Helping Parents which is a parenting group out there to give parents who are stressed a place to go and vent, so I see the show from a different point of view. There are millions of parents who know nothing about GD and won't seek out a group, but could use some help and if they get one idea from the super nanny and it makes a parents day less stressful then that's great.

[IncaMama]

my biggest issue is that it's basically child exploitation for entertainment value. these children are portrayed as monsters on national television. it's humiliating and degrading. regardless of how they are "turned around"...it's very sad to me. i understand that these parents feel like they're at the end of their rope. so they should get help. but they should not televise their children's behaviors for ratings.

i also don't really agree with most of Jo's suggestions...but that's nothing compared to the bigger issue of exploitation, imo.

[Susan Kunkel]

I think with Suppernanny and any other parenting approach you need to do look at them in light of your family. What may work with my family's beliefs and values may not for others.Each child is also differant. I do like the fact that she encourages the parents to shut off the tv and play with the kids. I however would seek help away from the tv camaras.
Susan

[shanagirl]

One question I had as well-- is the supernanny a mother?

[IncaMama]

no, she's not.

[HappyHSer]

I think that Supernanny is either just inside our just outside the furthest boundary of what GD is.
She is a vast improvement over much of traditional parenting which is all hitting and yelling or basically not doing anything because parents dont know what to do.

I agree with Johub.

I find some of the tactics and techniques completely inappropriate. I think in most cases, the introduction of a routine is helpful.

Edited to add: Having been in a documentary in which they taped hours of our lives, and having viewed the final cut, I don't call anything "reality" TV anymore.

[frecklesihave]

First of all, not sure what GD is...I have watched the show on and off. I agree she goes into situations where things are out of control or there are underlying issues with the parents relationship. Yeah, I think there is a lot of editing too before you see the kids "turning around". I believe it is good to get a routine so I agree with her about that so your children know what to expect. The problem I with watching it in my house is my 2 1/2 year old was playing and started watching a bit of it with me last week and he was mesmerized by the little boy who was calling his mom a b*tch and throwing things which we immediately turned the channel. I shouldn't have been watching it either.

Mom to DS 12/12/02 and #2 DS 04/26/05 :2bfbabe: :

[mirandahope]

Thank you for this perspective. It touches a nerve in me, so I suppose that although I have enjoyed the show as a future parent, etc, I share the concern that you raise about the children being "portrayed as monsters on national television". This gives me something to consider.



[QUOTE=michelemiller]my biggest issue is that it's basically child exploitation for entertainment value. these children are portrayed as monsters on national television. it's humiliating and degrading. regardless of how they are "turned around"...it's very sad to me. i understand that these parents feel like they're at the end of their rope. so they should get help. but they should not televise their children's behaviors for ratings.