November 21st-27th updates!

[hairpin]

Thought I would start a thread, since nobody else seemed to get it going. Previous thread was here:http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=370437

At this point I don't feel I fall into a subgroup yet, but who knows what will happen. I definitely have enjoyed the main threads so far.

In my news: I'm getting over my cold. Yay! It hasn't been too bad. Maybe that's just cause it's almost over.

Also last night, I felt the baby swish my inside lower tummy 3 times. And this morning I felt punches twice. I'm glad it's starting to get more regular.

Also my dad is doing great after his surgery. Thanks for your thoughts.

I'm getting excited about Thanksgiving... I'm going to make some kind of deep-dish apple pie.

[eilonwy]

I had my ultrasound today; I'm having another in four weeks. I have to say, I'm a little bit bummed out but not absolutely miserable. I posted a bit about it here; be forewarned, it's a teensy bit depressing so if you're super-weepy, you may not want to go there.

[thirdchild]

Well, I discovered yesterday while getting dressed that no matter what I put on my belly looks big. Last week I could put on black and my belly not look that big, but not this week I'm not complaining just saying really! LOL
I'm glad I look pregnant I just feel I look more pregnant that 20 weeks, but then again it is my 3rd child AND everyone is different

Other than that everything is good, I feel the baby move at least once a day now. I'm extremely tired but try and get lots of sleep.

I had an ultrasound last week and everything looked good. I've got a doctor's appointment next Monday.

Hope everyone has a great week!

[AdinaL]

Oh Rynna...that's tough. Hopefully it was just a bad shot and everything will be fine in 4 weeks.

[hairpin]

Hang in there, Rynna. I hate when the mood of the ultrasound tech changes... Hopefully everything is ok. But please try not to worry too much. I believe positive thoughts make a difference. Have faith things are going to be ok...

[AdinaL]

Saw my midwives tonight. I adore them.

Everything is good! Blood pressure is good, no sugar or protein in the urine... Heard the heartbeat, and the little guy kicking the bejeebers out of the doppler.

Measuring right on.

[FreeSpiritMama]

s Rynna, its almost harder not knowing anything for sure. Please try and stay as positive as you can and know my family and I are thinking of you while you wait for the scan in 4weeks.

I've been feeling baby for weeks now but finally my DH & DS can feel the kicks too , belly is getting bigger and bigger and I'm just loving being pregnant

[aprilushka]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I had my ultrasound today; I'm having another in four weeks. I have to say, I'm a little bit bummed out but not absolutely miserable. I posted a bit about it here; be forewarned, it's a teensy bit depressing so if you're super-weepy, you may not want to go there.

I'm sorry, this was my worst fear for the u/s, and actually the tech said they couldn't get the perfect shot of the heart they would typically want but the doctor went ahead and signed off on the bits and pieces they saw. I think it often happens when babies are uncooperative with their movement and there's not necessarily anything wrong, they just don't like to say because they can't see everything to tell for sure, but I know how much the uncertainty kills. We'll be thinking about you this month.

[aprilushka]

Can I have an MIL rant? Please indulge me.

Background-- MIL is a 65 year old Russian woman, but I'm not sure that is actually the issue in this particular rant. Although the fact she raised her other grandson mostly herself is always an issue in her dealings with me, a mother who is not 18, clueless, and her daughter, which was the case with her other grandson (who's now 14). She's been staying with us for a month b/c DH (an SAHD) wanted to have some help while he was doing some remodeling in the house.

I've been ignoring/avoiding her a lot so as not to be pissed off by her dumb comments in my touchier than usual hormonal state (DH and his sister ignore her all the time) and I think she doesn't like it, so the other night she got passive aggressive on me when I told DS he couldn't have a konfetka (candy) (it was after 9pm and about time for us to go to bed to read and sleep). He went down to the kitchen where she was still asking for it, I came down and said he doesn't need to have one so late (keep in mind this is after I came home and she tells me that his "dinner" was a syrok (mini cheesecake), oatmeal, a piece of bread, and a cookie-- HUH?!). So then she takes out a piece of chocolate and starts cutting it right in front of me. That REALLY pissed me off. I said what are you doing? I just said he doesn't need candy this late at night (and DH agrees with me on that sort of thing). She said, oh this isn't "konfetka" (Okay, technically true in Russian, "konfetka" is a wrapped piece of candy and not a chocolate bar, but she knows it's the same damn thing really). So I really blew up because she was just trying to piss me off, I knew it. I said find, don't listen to me, he won't go to sleep and I'm the one who puts him to sleep, I'm only his mother (oh no not really, YOU'RE his mother aren't you, that's what you really think), just do what every you want, and stormed out. So then last night he asks for a syrok around the same time-- like 9:15 and she said give it to him, he didn't have one today yet and I was like no, that's really sugary, let's have (plain) yogurt (which I usually give with a little honey, but very little which amounts to a lot less sugar than in one piece of candy), he can have the syrok tomorrow after lunch. He started crying and went to her bawling about the syrok. This time she was like no, go ask mama she's the one who decides (Yeah, and that's the way it should be even if you think otherwise you passive-agressive overweaning control freak babushka-- no I didn't say that, but sometimes I get really PO'd at her and think it). So after a minute he stopped crying and started asking for yogurt, and I said, yes, I'm getting it for you. So after he stops crying, she says "Don't cry because mama won't give you the syrok" and something else I can't remember because by that time she was ticking me off again. Finally I said calmly, he's already stopped crying, so there's no need to go on like that, he already forgot about the syrok so let's drop it. I know she started in on "Don't cry" after he stopped so that he would get upset again and make me feel guilty. But it doesn't work, because what she doesn't understand is that I would feel a lot guiltier about giving him stuff that's not good for him at the wrong time of day and developing bad habits and not drawing boundaries where they need to be drawn then I do about him being briefly upset about something he wants NOW (which is basically a 2 year olds constant mode anyhow-- that's why you have to be consistent when they're 2 so they understand when no means no, it's not being mean, it's called being responsible-- no kid has ever respected a parent who doesn't set boundaries).

I said, you can give him a syrok tomorrow during the DAYTIME. I mean, I'm not a perfectionist about this (in fact, far less than I would like, but I do what I can under the circumstances we have)-- some limited dessert is okay, but not 15 minutes before bedtime at freaking 9:15 at night and I don't think I'm being unreasonable (have I ever broken this rule-- yes, but rarely when guests are over and we're all staying an up an hour or two later than usual)! I don't tell her exactly what to feed him or anything, or how to dress him, or what to do with him all day-- only that we don't give him too much sugar, esp at night and that he needs to have some meat, fruit and vegetables every day (might I add her other grandson whom she raised eats nothing but macaroni and pancakes, by her own admission, which doesn't seem to trouble her at all). Why that's so hard to comply with and respect (considering most mothers would agree with me) I don't know. And since she has sugar diabetes herself, you would think, if she loves her grandson SOOOOO much (and she probably thinks more than me, since I won't give him the konfetka at 9:15 at night) that she would actually care about his health and not want to ruin it the way she's ruining hers with her continued sugar overdoses that give her blood rushes that she complains about later! GEEZ!

And I know this isn't a Russian/American thing. A lot of Russian mothers would be equally upset by the amount of sugar she consumes and thinks it's okay for small children to consume.

[kyle98sean02]

Rynna. I know you were nervous about this going into the u/s. We will keep your babe in our thoughts and prayers. Hopefully you will get a nice good look at your next appointment and everything will be great.

[lmonter]

Rynna - That sucks. I've had a bad ultrasound where the tech got all quiet, and it's just not nice of them to do that when you're pregnant. Just know that people are thinking of you and hoping it all works out happily.

April - Do MIL's have a secret network or something? I have issues with mine too, but I save most of them for the blog so I don't bum out most people. I was all excited about making part of the Thanksgiving food - a turkey even! - but MIL's making a 20 pound turkey for 7 adults and 1 toddler. So I'm just going to save my super-yummy turkey for the important people that appreciate me that'll be here the day after Thanksgiving.


Nothing too exciting happening pregnancy-wise here. Haven't really felt movement, but I'm behind most everybody else regarding my due date.
I *may* have been kicked once last week and once a few days before that, but nothing near constant.
I'm starting to sort of show, even though most of the bump is still pushed out internal organs.
Belly's starting to itch again, too (it itches when it starts stretching).
Shaving my legs is getting to be painful (i.e. putting my weight on just one leg/hip for a short while), so I'm gonna have to figure out how to do it as a bath without ds 'helping' me.
Ummm... need to call my dad today, he's 65 today.
And I'm hoping to can a whole bunch of applesauce today if I ever get off the computer.

[aprilushka]

Ah, a blog. That's a good idea for a place to record my frustrations.

[hairpin]

Actually I enjoyed the rant.

I don't have kids yet. This will be the first. So it's nice to know what I have to look forward to.

Honestly my mother-in-law is not so bad. I like her. She does funny things though. She's surprised that I know what to say in a Catholic church, even though I went to a Catholic school and was raised Protestant. She sometimes even asks if we believe in Christ. It's kind of surprising... since if Catholics and Protestants aren't Christians what are they? It sounds like the beginning of a joke... Well whatever... I just think it's funny.

I'm more worried about my mother. She is very gung ho, which is nice in a way. But I'm afraid she's going to turn into my grandma, her mum. Grandma tried to spoil me a lot. Basically the rule was as long as my parents weren't there, rules didn't apply. She really hated how independent I was though and how I always wanted to go outside and play. She kind of wanted me to need her a lot more than I did. Anyhoo....

It's so weird. In the first trimester, I think that's when I did all my stretching. I got the round ligament pains then and not now. And back then I felt like I needed a pillow. I don't even feel like sleeping with a pillow anymore... It's so odd. Oh, and my tummy's getting really red/tan looking lately. Must be because I carry a lot of blood there? I think I've almost popped out my bellybutton too.

[lmonter]

Originally Posted by hairpin

Honestly my mother-in-law is not so bad. I like her.

I almost hate to say it, but you might be surprised. My MIL seemed normal for 1.5-2 years, until we had a kid. There tons of crap she's pulled - mostly to make me feel bad, or not even acknowledge me, etc.
I had such high hopes. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with it - especially if we end up having to house her and FIL (another tangent) or they do get smart with their money and buy a house around here.

[AllisonK]

Well I had a big long post typed up and somehow it did not send. ??? I don't have the energy to re type. So I am doing well, have some sort of chest cold and cannot stop coughing but I feel fine. Its weird. My MIL is nice in an odd way. Its my mom that I have issues with.
Ryanna you will be in my thoughts.
I cannot wait for Thursday! Stuffing and potatoes and pie. Mmmmmmmm!! Oh and I guess turkey too,
Allison

[PheobNFam]

Rynna - Sorry to hear about the u/s. Hope everything turns out okay in the end.

April -- Sorry you're having IL issues. I don't envy that!

So, I've been craving ham lately. I'm going to go to the grocery store after I finish here. I just need a ham.
This little boy is moving SO MUCH! Honestly, when I'm trying to concentrate, I wish he's just hold still for a second! He also kept me up last night. LOL I'll be 20 weeks on Thursday. Hopefully DH will be able to feel the kid again soon -- and then more consistently. He just never has his hand in the right place at the right time. Last night I was snuggled up against him, and the baby kept kicking where DH and I were touching. Too bad DH was sleeping. Oh well. It's fun to know the kiddo is so active though.

[eilonwy]

Thanks for the warm thoughts. I'll be looking up pictures on the internet tomorrow, trying to match what I actually saw with something meaningful. I saw a heck of a lot (the picture was almost ubelievably clear) but I could be misinterpreting (I haven't been formally trained to read ultrasound images, after all).

My ILs were just a teensy bit strange until BeanBean started to talk like a person... then the preaching began. : SIL and FIL have long since given up on saving me, but they're still hoping that Mike and the kids can be rescued from the flames of hell. Argh.

MIL, however, is a dream. I wouldn't give her up for anything, she's the sweetest MIL I could ever ask for and much, much better than I was expecting to end up with.

I've been craving, of all things, bacon. : If I manage to scrape up some cash, I will actually go out and buy some because I'm positively desperate for it, and all the flax seed oil in the world hasn't been helping (though I can't really take tons of that, either).

[mirandahope]

long update on anniversary of baby's loss, with exciting heartbeat news :)

DH and I were just at the midwife's, who is one of 3 in her team. She is the same midwife who helped us just after we lost our baby 2 years ago, and today is the milestone: the anniversary of when we lost Heather in October 2003. So it was neat that we got to see her today.

We heard the baby's heartbeat and the kicks as he/she moved around. What a joy to hear that especially on this anniversary. I feel like now I can move on with this pregnancy because all of the milestones (except the anniversary of Heather's EDD) have passed.

The midwife says that we have every reason to expect a healthy baby!! What a treat to hear that. A year ago I wouldn't have believed that was possible. I thought that because we had lost the first one, and had been told that I had a b/c disorder that I would never have children. So glad that things are going fine and I have no sign of the b/c disorder now!

I love to feel baby moving around, and can hardly wait until DH can feel him/her too! and until I don't have to be in a certain position to feel the movements. They give me so much hope! I maybe once felt Heather move.

In some ways, it is kind of exciting that now we are past that milestone, and in some ways it is kind of...what's the word...I feel nervous because now I'm in completely new territory! (actually this whole pregnancy has been new territory!)

I have never been more than 19.5 weeks pregnant before, although I have been pregnant before. The cashier who is becoming part of my community at the grocery asked if this is my first one, and I said, "second pregnancy, but hopefully this one stays." That feels the most honest, because to deny Heather is wrong for me to do. Even though no one else got to meet her, she is part of my family!

We have our ultrasound on Thursday, and I am trusting it will just confirm that things are fine. The midwife says that sometimes they won't tell people before 22 weeks, because some families select for gender before that point. I won't get into how I feel about that, but I hope that we can find out.

I want to know the sex, but maybe in a week or two. DH doesn't want to know, so we have to figure out how to do that. I can't keep it a secret. Nor would I want to, really!

I have a strong feeling that it is a boy, and want to know if I am right or not. But I am nervous that maybe it is a girl...and I know this is irrational, but I'm afraid that if its a girl, we may lose her too, just cuz she's a girl.

: Does anyone else know what I mean?? Please let me know!

[mirandahope]

Rynna--I can relate to your anxiety about the ultrasound. Most of my last pregnancy was ultrasounds and not knowing what exactly they meant. I'm surprised I had hair left at the end of it (cuz I sure felt like pulling it out a lot!!) Please be kind to yourself in the next while. It may be a good sign that the doc wants you to come in in a month vs next week (maybe that could give you a sense of where you are on the scale of maybe a concern to definitely a problem?)

Hang in there!

Aprilushka-- I am glad to hear an MIL rant, partly because I know I may need to do that at some point and it's good to know that this is a good forum for that!

[jenny-g]

Originally Posted by aprilushka

Can I have an MIL rant? Please indulge me...

And I know this isn't a Russian/American thing. A lot of Russian mothers would be equally upset by the amount of sugar she consumes and thinks it's okay for small children to consume.

OMG. What a pain for you right now. You know, I would seriously ask your husband to nicely ask her to leave now. Seriously. I think this hurts your relationship more than a lot of other things would! It's okay to have your household the way you want it, ann I can't IMAGNE having my in law's- as much as I really like them, even- over for that long time. Yours sounds like she has a real problem with respect for you and undermining the way you raise your children.

Don't feel bad about it, either!! It's your house and your family, and so don't feel pressured into having someone around who makes things negative. -j