reconsidering garnishing wages - Page 2

[Smithie]

This is sort of a radical departure from standard step advice but...

Your ex is eager to terminate his parental rights. His ex is clearly unwilling to support her first child. Might she be willing to terminate her rights if it meant she never had to pay again, and could focus her resources on her new baby?

If you got rid of both these people and moved somewhere where the COL was cheaper, in a few years you might look back and say "Wow, that was the best thing we ever did."

Four people did participate in the creation of your children. Realistically, they seem to have two decent parents. And two's enough, although more than two is fabulous when it works out.

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

Originally Posted by Smithie

Your ex is eager to terminate his parental rights. His ex is clearly unwilling to support her first child. Might she be willing to terminate her rights if it meant she never had to pay again, and could focus her resources on her new baby?

We've asked, and her attitude is NASTY about it, pretty much no way in hell will she do this, ever. Even if it meant a better living arrangement for her child, she doesn't care, she just wants to have a 'say' really...

SO, also will not (at this time at least) reconsider moving away. HIS entire family is here, and he's EXTREMELY attached to his mother... So, yeah, won't be happening, as much as I'd ADORE it to..lol (I live 3000 miles away from my family, childhood friends, and my DD's biodad) We live 5 minutes from my SO's mother, and even the mention of moving maybe 20 minutes away bugs him

He is saying though, that is because we rent, and why move away if everything we need is here? True, true. He says when we start looking for a house (in our 5 year plan...lol), we'll look further away, but still in this state etc *sighs*

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

Should probably add, my DSS is *very* attached to his mother too, and while financially and to ease frustrations it MIGHT be easier to just cut his biomom out of our lives, it wouldn't be in HIS best interest... And of course, in the end, HE is what matters here, not our frustrations, not our issues with her... He needs her, and we know that, and try to harbor that...

It wouldn't be the 'best thing we ever did', concerning him... My DD is a different story, her biodad was abusive and wants nothing to do with her... DSS's biomom is different. She does try, I will give her that. Compared to my ex, she's a saint...lol

[Smithie]

Guess you are stuck with her, then. Good for you for putting dss first. If moving isn't an option, maybe someday she will be able to pull her weight a little more by providing after-school care for dss if you WOH when your biokid is older.

One of my divorced cousins said the trick was figuring out WHAT her ex was willing to do, then making that a major thing even if it was totaly unrelated to hat the court was "requiring" him to do. She said that it was often surprising what kind of burdens he was willing to shoulder, and she had to keep an open mind in order to discover what he'd do. Oh, and he definitely contributed more as the girls got older - when they were little, he insisted on having a "say" but all the parenting was done by his new wife.

But yeah, if you are stuck with her, garnish her wages and intercept her tax returns ad infinitum. I respect that she wants to SAH with her new baby, but you can't screw over the first kid to privilege the second kid.