Just Tell Me What I Want To Hear

[flyingspaghettimama]

Women do NOT give birth like their mothers, right? That is what I want you to tell me. If you would like to tell me something different, well then...umm...I guess I'll steel myself. And I might get all sulky, but that wouldn't be new.

My mother told me last night that she went to 43.5 (!) weeks with me, and she was exactly sure of her dates (she was charting). I looked in my baby book, and DANG she's right, it's all in there. Then she spent two days in labor at home with a midwife until my heart rate went down and went in for an emergency C-section. When delivered, I was 6 1/2 lbs and the placenta had deteriorated very badly. Which is not a problem for me so far - biophysicals and ultrasounds are reassuring for that reason alone.

Good lord, if I may (my guesstimate) or may not (my MWs guesstimate) be as far along as 42 weeks...umm, just tell me that there is no hereditary characteristics involved in labor.

Or am I doomed by the Polish woman-in-the-fields approach to labor, borne through time by my ancestors? You can thresh a lot of wheat and pick a lot more beets if you can hold labor off for a few months.

[Marlet]

Not in your DDC but wanted to post. I think you can get an IDEA Of how your labour MIGHT be from looking at your mother's but every woman and every labour is different. I was a c-section due to cord and placenta issues. My DD was a vaginal sunny side up baby. Big difference! My mmom never got to labour, I was in labour for 14 hours. No worries!

[*Amy*]

I'm semi-curious about this myself but I think it's mostly cultural mythology and that there are so many factors involved that it would be impossible to really figure out how much our mothers' pregnancies influence our own.

Don't psych yourself out, FSM!! This is YOUR pregnancy and your baby, so things could go a completely different way for you!

[BensMom]

And MWs today know a lot more about OFP and trying to get the baby into a better position while the mom is in labor. Maybe you were OP and just not descending, and after all that time, went into distress. Hopefully your MW would catch onto that earlier and try some techniques to get things moving.

So, no hopefully history is not doomed to repeat itself!

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

Or am I doomed by the Polish woman-in-the-fields approach to labor, borne through time by my ancestors? You can thresh a lot of wheat and pick a lot more beets if you can hold labor off for a few months.

first of all : ROFLMAO!!! I'm half Polish myself so your comment is particularly funny to me.

And to answer your question, absolutely not! My mother had horrible, nightmarish birth stories... gave birth to my breech older brother vaginally, suffered a 4th degree tear (he was born with both is collarbones broken and they had to resuscitate him several times) and many years of complications including having her uterus prolapse during pregnancy (with me as a 4 month old fetus inside!) and four reconstructive (she's going in for the fifth at the end of the month) surgeries (vaginal/bladder/intestinal prolapse corrections). When I was born she barely made it to the hospital in time and had the doctor not turned around I would have ended up on the floor.

I have had two very normal (though long... I'm a long gestator) pregnancies and homebirths. The first birth was a 30 hour labor and the second about three hours total but the majority of it happened within the last hour and 45 minutes. I had no perineal trauma with either of my births, but rather suffered minor labial splitting which healed very quickly.

I don't know if this is what you want to hear but you create your own reality you don't inherit it.

[PicnicBear]

Good responses so far -- I hope for different birth experiences that my mom had, too. (I was born sunny side up.) Too bad to hear that waiting it out til 43.5 weeks resulted in some complications, though.

OT: Willemama -- could you please remind me how long you went with each of your pregnancies? I need some encouragement!

[flyingspaghettimama]

Actually, these responses are EXACTLY what I want to hear. Thanks! It appears that there is no hereditary link there. Whew. I will talk about it with the MW today too.

Now, if you could just do my taxes and tell me what I want to hear on that too, then my life would be complete.

Yeah - willemsmama - how long did you wait this time, exactly. And last? Give some of us some hope?

[Godiva]

Lol, as far as overdue babies, I read while I was 44 weeks pregnant (this is not information a severly overdue woman should have) that it's the father's genes that are responsible for overdue babies. So your mom carrying to 43.5 weeks really has nothing to do with you.

[PicnicBear]

you're right -- now I know who to blame!!!

[PancakeGoddess]

I read somewhere that labor and birth tends to be more like sisters than mothers. It was true for my sister's 2 and my 3 labors. We were both within 5 days on either side of the dd with all 5 babies and length of labor was similar for each 1st and 2nd etc.

My mother went 43 and 44 weeks too.

[3for3hb]

According to my records my LMP was January 12th or the 17th. I still haven't sat down to figure out actual weeks yet (anyone that wants to just let me know what you come up with ). And I know FOR SURE that I never had a period in February. But I was still bfing (willem was about 11 months then and eating solids but still depending on my milk). So maybe I didn't bleed in Feb but still ovulated and that's when I got pg. By the third week of March I was on the couch morning till night with morning sickness for about two weeks until I went and saw a bodyworker who helped my body get back on track. And I didn't feel the morning sickness until I was about 10 or 11 weeks pg with Willem (for comparison) Who really knows. With Willem I went 42 weeks and two days.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by bailey228

Lol, as far as overdue babies, I read while I was 44 weeks pregnant (this is not information a severly overdue woman should have) that it's the father's genes that are responsible for overdue babies. So your mom carrying to 43.5 weeks really has nothing to do with you.

Um. Uh-oh. My husband was "overdue" (almost 42 weeks) and induced as well. I have no idea what he would have been if not induced. He was 9 and a half pounds.

We figure he's a procrastinator and I'm late to everything, so our baby is seriously screwed in the genes department.

Wouldn't it be fun to be born on Thanksgiving though? I mean, a pain for all of our care providers, but super fun for birthdays.

[Kirsten]

I'm not in your ddc either but saw this on new posts.

I assumed my labor would be like my mom's (super fast). Each of her three kids was less than two hours from start to finish. So when my labors were 20 hours, 9.5 hours, and 17 hours, I was pretty shocked. Well, really just shocked that first time... But you know what? I really think I got off easier than she did - I got to go slow and easy instead of all of that crammed into an hour and a half of fast and excruciating.

Not sure if my mom was early, late or on time according to due dates, but even that can vary so much in the same woman from pregnancy to pregnancy. My first two kids were each six days early, and my third was 11 days late. It was baby positioning that was the difference (dd3 was OP). Of course I expected dc3 to be six days early like the first two had each been. So in my mind, she was 17 days late! But I never had that "get that baby OUT of me" feeling so it was fine. Kind of fun actually - to freak people out when they'd ask when I was due. Looks on their faces when you say 10 days ago... priceless. Got better when they'd ask what kind of sadistic doctor I had and I got to say I didn't have a doctor; I had a midwife. Or "aren't you worried about not making it to the hospital?" with "not going to the hospital; having the baby at home". Oh, those were fun days those last weeks.

You will be just fine!!

[zjande]

I too have heard our labors will tend to be more like our sisters than our mothers, & length of gestation tends to be more like how like long the dad gestated. I don't have a sister & DP has no idea how long he was a fetus nor how much he weighed so those things aren't helping me.

I totally agree about funness (yes I like to make up my own vocabulary) of being born on/around T-Day. I think it's neat 'cuz my dd was born on Lughnassah which is a pagan summer harvest holiday, my ds was born on Mother's Day weekend, & this one will be born on/around Thanksgiving (I HOPE! ), so they all have their own holiday.

[LeAnnie]

Not to sound like the voice of doom here, but I've been told over and over again by my mom that there is a family legacy of all the pregnancies going to 44 weeks dating back to my grandmother. My sister and I were both 44 weeks with tight dates-my mom reminds me of this constantly. Today (3 days post-date for me) I let her have it and said ENOUGH! Stop the jinxes..
I did read a review article from a medical journal which said if you've had a previous post-date pregnancy than you are at risk for another. It also said that there is NO established familial or genetic tendency for this, but pointed out it has not been studied.
My dd was 10 days post-date, but I went into labor spontaneously, so I broke the chain by not holding out until 44weeks!
I personally do not believe in the family tendency. Moms should know better than to plague their daughters with such information-I sympathize!

[gingerstar]

I REALLY don't want to hear that a baby gestates like it's father - my MIL was due around T-giving w/DH, but he was not born 'til DEC 20!!!!! (Yes, they had correct dating!)

I discussed this w/ my midwife today (at NST) and she said she would not be that patient with me! Of course, I would not be that patient, either!

But, my daughters were 18 days and 10 days early, and here I am, 40wks 3days.......steady prodromal contractions, 2 cm dilated, still not effacing.....

I did not expect to be still waiting....My 4 yo DD is "writing a letter" as I type, and talking herself thru it - "Mommy is having our baby any minute!"
From your lips to God's Ear, honey!