This is my first post but I lurk here often. I hope this is the right place to post this. I'm really needing advice on how to handle a family situation right now. My parents are divorced, and my mother has a boyfriend that she has been with for almost 3 years. She met him on an internet dating site and moved in with him right away. I have two daughters 2 and 6 months. He really showed little to no interest in my oldest dd until she was about 9 months. All of a sudden he started giving her alot of attention, that I didn't think much about at first. Every time we saw him he started paying more and more attention to her. It is now to the point where that is all he does. No matter what is going on, if we are at a family function, or just visiting them at their house, he spends all of him time with DD and doesn't really even communicate with other adults. He does alot of things that make me very uneasy, such as patting her on the bottom, sharing food with her like popsicles. He will be eating something and then he sticks he tounge out of his mouth and noticably licks the popsicle or whatever it is, so that DD will want some. Something inside of me just wants to scream get away from my child. But, I politely tell my daughter that we don't share food and pull her away from the situation. He then pouts about it, and attempts to do the same thing later. He asked me a few months ago if I switched diapers. I said, " no, why?". He said that he noticed her butt looked different. That really creeped me out. He also repeatedly asks when she can spend the night. Just to make myself clear, I have never ever left either of my girls alone with him, so I certainly would not let them spend the night at their house. Him and my mom decided a few months ago that he would be called Grandpa. I told her no, I was not comfortable with that. Yet they continue to refer to him as Grandpa. He is constantly video taping DD and taking pictures of her. He says he had never know what is was to love a child until he met my DD, and he tells my mom that he loves her like he loves DD. He says he can't live without DD. About a month ago, my mom called me to tell me about a cute dream he had, and she told me that he had a dream about DD where she was running to him and the wind was blowing through her hair and soft music was playing. That did it, and I told her I didn't want him around my children. We hung up the phone, and I was doing fine with my decision, until she called me back and told me how awful I am and I am just doing this to be mean, and this is a terrible thing to do to DD. She turned the whole family against me, so I ended up letting them back in my life again. I am young ( 21 in January), so my parenting is constantly being criticized and questioned by others, which really makes me doubt myself. My mother told me the other night that if I ever parented my children in a way that she felt was wrong she would try to take them away from me, which scares me to death. Anyways, with Thanksgiving being on Thursday, we were planning on going over to my sister's house. My mom and her boyfriend are going to be there. I have decided to not allow my children to be around that man ever again, so we are not going. I have not told my mom or my family yet, but I know that I'm going to hear what a horrible person I am again, and I am wondering what you all think. Is this a terrible thing for me to do? This guy creeps me out, and my mothering instinct is telling me to stay as far away from him as possible. I just wanted to get others thoughts on this. Sorry this was so long.
Amber
Amber
to you for being so strong.
:
s Be strong. Your babies need you!
