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TV....and being a SAHM - Page 2

post #21 of 61
Ita with the let them watch but limit it group.
That's what I do.
I let ds watch 2 PBS shows in the morning while I make beds/throw in laundry and take a shower. Then he gets to watch a video while I'm making dinner.
Some days like his preschool days, he doesn't watch tv at all, because when we get home he plays outside, then nap, then dinner, play with daddy, so he doesn't even think about it. When it's just the 2 of us at home though, he doesn start asking to watch something. And I will admit, some days when I'm feeling crappy or trying to get a project done (which is rare), I'll let him watch way too much.
post #22 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizc
Velochic- Which UK videos do you buy? I used to live in England but didn't pay attention to kids shows then. I'd be VERY interested in getting some UK based kids videos!

Feel free to pm or email me!!!
Thanks,
Liz
Ps. Have you ever had a problem watching UK dvd's on a usa dvd player?
To name a few that I can think off the top of my head:
- Big Cook Little Cook
- Fimbles
- Balamory
- Postman Pat
- Little Robots (not the American Robots movie)
- Brum (which I have actually seen on PBS at 5am here)

We also have some German DVDs from when we lived there which dd really likes, too... Pumukl, Asterix, Feuerwehrmann Sam, which may or may not be available on amazon.uk.

And yeah, you have to have a multi-region DVD player to play European videos. In Germany they were pretty easy to find (although 220, of course, but we have a transformer here in the US), but you can probably either disable the region settings on your dvd player or find one at amazon.com or ebay.com. HTH
post #23 of 61
I just insist that my children "go play" or at those ages, do stuff during nap/quiet time. While there is a baby sleepingi n the house everyone else must be on thier beds playing quietly or reading. This gives them some down time and allows the baby to sleep uninterupted. This lasted from about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours daily. it gave me plenty of time to get stuf done. As for bathroom I would just put the baby in a safe place and tell the older one to entertain her.

we don't watch any tv during the week (and we did that cold turkey after it got out of and). Once they learned what the expectations were as far as them entertaining themselves and learned how to do so things went really smoothly.
post #24 of 61
These are such great ideas and encouragement to me. I've been struggling with how much t.v. my dd watches (she's 3.5). And I know I'm "the gatekeeper", as my husband likes to call it. It's hard though, when you want to get stuff done, and you know she'll be happily occupied for awhile....

Anyway, good tips! We're going to try some tomorrow!
post #25 of 61
I'm doing the same with my almost 3 year old DD that I did with my older two. A few select shows on PBS, like Barney, Thomas Tank Engine, and Calliou. We now have a DVD player and VHS machine, which we didn't when the older two were young, so wee DD has some DVD's and videos I let her watch. She isn't interested in watching the movies or TV shows very much, though. She'd rather play with her toys or have me read with her, or "read" to her dolls.

I never let our kids just sit and watch TV without supervision, and none of them ever had TV's in their bedrooms. The older two grew up to be great readers, and to this day don't watch much TV, so I'm hoping wee DD turns out the same, if I follow the same rules with her.
post #26 of 61
I use it too, and i feel badly about it too. I don't know what the perfect soultion would be. I know of folks who keep thier off and the kids help or talk tot hem or do various things..and really, when i shower, use the toilet, etc. i want to be ALONE. So, for me, it helps. Also, I have to go outside to do various chores and there are times that what I am doing ( throwing chucnks of firewood into a huge metal furnace) are DANGEROUS and it is safer top ut in a video for my kids to sit and watch then to risk the many things that could happen to them while we are outside...such as a severe burn or getting hit with firewood or kicked by the horse when I take it out of the barn or..well. you get the idea.

They come follow me into the bathroom anyway, and for the most part when we are home and it is just the 3 of us, I keep it off. I am working on making it be an "after the sun has set" thing, because then I can use it for maybe an hour in the evening and then we get ready for bed and read stories and so on. MY husband has been home today, adn the TV has been on ALL DAY LONG. He is really, badly addicted to the TV. My worst nightmare is that my kids will be like him with the tv.


Also, we have a massive list of channels via satellite and i HATE THAT ! I would love to just have a good reception of local channels and a good selection of DVDS to use, and call it good. We can borrow movies for a few days for free from the library...and between those thigns we would be much better off. As it is now with teh satellite it is hard to say No, because of channels such as PBS kids and Disney and such. There is always SOMETHING they want to see. It gets very, very old.



Growing up, I hardly watche tv as a little girl. My siblings each watched more, as the rules got looser, and ym sister is a major Tv fiend. She usually has a show that she HAS to watch every night of teh week. That gets old quick. There is more to life than TV.


We also use the Tv so that my husband and I can have sex. He drives truck, has no schedule and so i can't depnd on the usual " After the kids go to sleep" type sex..it is usually in the middle of teh day and so we save certain videos or shows for those times. It isn't great but I don't really see what any other choice would be..except not ever have sex but once every few weeks, and that is NOT going to happen, sorry to say.
post #27 of 61
Quote:
I was kept from TV and junk food and I rebelled too.
Lots of people have mentioned having limited/no tv and rebelling. I find that interesting because my experience has been opposite. My parents are big tv people and my siblings (3) are too. My dh did most of his growing up with no tv and there are 2 no-tv households, 2 limited tv households, and 1 whatever goes household.
post #28 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avonlea
I We also use the Tv so that my husband and I can have sex. He drives truck, has no schedule and so i can't depnd on the usual " After the kids go to sleep" type sex..it is usually in the middle of teh day and so we save certain videos or shows for those times.
Dh said recently (after putting a video on for the kids for this purpose) that TV is a gift from God He used to work an evening shift, so I know what you mean.

I also use it so I can shower in the mornings (now that the weather is getting colder, though, my skin can only take showering a few mornings a week, so it's not so bad) and occasionally if the boys are being rowdy when I'm trying to nurse the baby to sleep. And if it's the first day of my period and I just want to sit and not be disturbed.

I do think, though, that if I relied on it less and worked on teaching my kids to amuse themselves more, I wouldn't need it so much. Right now, I try to keep the tv/vcr/dvd player on the top shelf of our toy/craft/game cupboard, so I can't just turn it on. If it is away, the kids don't think of it so much and ask for it much less. Of course, we still have the computer for them to play on, I don't know if that's much better. Lately they've been into Study Dog, a learn to read thing, so I feel better about that.

One thing I try to do (though I'm not consistent enough with it yet) is daily "quiet minutes" time. After we've cleaned up from lunch, we do something on our own quietly for 15 mins (well, not the baby, though she often nurses during this time, and my 3.5 yo is just getting to be able to manage the whole 15 mins). I usually read, and my oldest (now 6) would look at a book (often a kids magazine, he would be choosing the story he wanted me to read after). Now he has some books that he reads to himself. I think having that time daily (ideally, lol) helps them realize that they *can* amuse themselves without tv or me being the main source of entertainment. One of my boys also was given the board game Trouble for his birthday, he and his brother play it suprisingly often, and it takes a while to play. Just so long as the 3.5 yo isn't tired or hungry, the games tend to go quite smoothly, and they have a good time playing. I also have a bunch of those "learning" card games, I see them at stores all the time -- crazy eights, alphabet go fish, math war, silly sentences, three-letter words, time and money, and such. I play them with the kids, and I've also taught my oldest solitaire versions of most of them. He can amuse himself with that for quite a while now with that, and generally the 3.5 yo leaves him alone. It isn't so much a matter of them needing something to do when I'm busy as it is a matter of them not being able to get along without my help. If I can find things for them to do separately, or something where they know how to take turns (like Trouble, the turns are short so no one gets bored, or computer games like Study Dog, where whoever is waiting for his turn likes watching the other guy play), the momless time goes much more smoothly.
post #29 of 61
I think when dd was younger I resorted to using the TV more to get alone time. These days I don't feel the need to distract dd (5 1/2 years) with TV. She only watches dvd or tapes and not every day. She plays games on the computer. She plays on her own more often.
I can say "I'm going to go take a shower... do you need anything before I get in?" and she is fine. I've also stressed the concept of privacy a bit more. The other day dd asked me give her some privacy.

I wouldn't feel guilty about putting the TV on to get a shower or some much needed alone time when your kids are so young. In a couple of years, it should be easier to do without using TV.
post #30 of 61
I keep a few shows on Tivo that I record off PBS. No commercials and when the show is over, it is over. I let my 2 boys watch tv most mornings, so I can wake up and get ready for the day.

I wasn't allowed to watch tv as a child so I turned into an addict! I hope limited tv will keep my boys from turning into tv slugs!
post #31 of 61
Honestly, I don't think you can expect your 8-month-old baby to give you alone time to get stuff done. Your child is still an infant and needs your constant supervision. My only suggestions for that child are these: do the things you need to do "alone" when your kids are napping or re-evaluate what you actually NEED to do alone. Going to the bathroom alone when you have an 8 month old is a luxury, not a necessity. My kids are 2 3/4 and 3 3/4 and I just started the "Momma's going to the bathroom ALONE" rule within the last two months.

As for your two year old, how about books on tape? Coloring or sticker books that you ONLY bring out when you need him to occupy himself? Make a fort from pillows/cushions or set up a kids' indoor tent when you need to do something by yourself? Fix a fun snack and let him have a picnic on a sheet in his bedroom? Put him in a bubblebath (as long as you will be within earshot and able to listen to him while you do what you're doing)? Put him in the bathtub with fingerpaints? Fill the sink with water and let him play/wash dishes? One thing my daughter loved at that age was for me to give her the ad sections of the newspaper and let her fling them around, rip them up, slide on them, etc. It makes a mess but it's relatively easy to clean up. I think the key is that you have to provide an interesting activity that is a novelty as well.

Namaste!
post #32 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama
Honestly, I don't think you can expect your 8-month-old baby to give you alone time to get stuff done. Your child is still an infant and needs your constant supervision. My only suggestions for that child are these: do the things you need to do "alone" when your kids are napping or re-evaluate what you actually NEED to do alone. Going to the bathroom alone when you have an 8 month old is a luxury, not a necessity. !
Oh thank god, someone to tell me I am a bad mommy.

I sort of think it is a good thing that I can recognize my limitations. Unlike perhaps you? I am not perfect and I can't do it all. Of course I will endevor to be better in the future.
post #33 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyMine
Oh thank god, someone to tell me I am a bad mommy.

I sort of think it is a good thing that I can recognize my limitations. Unlike perhaps you? I am not perfect and I can't do it all. Of course I will endevor to be better in the future.
Sorry, I have no idea what you mean. I never said you're a baby mommy. I said eight month old babies can't entertain themselves or look after themselves. Yeah, it sucked big time when my daughter was 8 months old and I never got any time to myself. I struggled mightily with it, because I am a person who needs A LOT of time to myself. I'm not criticizing your need for time alone. I think most of us feel that way. I'm just trying to point out that you really can't expect an 8 month old to GIVE you alone time. I'm not saying you're a bad mom. I'm saying maybe you need to wait a few months before you expect to pee alone. Maybe you need to do some of those alone things when your kid naps. You asked for ideas. I'm not sure how mine came off as criticism.

Btw, thanks for the jab about recognizing my own limitations. It's always helpful to the conversation to make snide comments to people who are trying to help.
post #34 of 61
Thread Starter 
I fundementally disagree with your suggestion that an 8m old can't ever be left "alone" or can't entertain themselves for a moment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama
I said eight month old babies can't entertain themselves or look after themselves.
Certainly I can't go out and get my nails done or disappear and take a bath for an hour but since I have used the TV to entertain my 8m old for a few moments while I went potty I know it can be done.
post #35 of 61
Quote:
But here it is-the only way I get any time alone in a day is when my children are watching it. Showering, reading email, cleaning and chores by myself- all rely on TV.

What do you do? HOw do you get a moment alone without the TV? I feel really awful using it (isn't that the SAHM stereo type- kids plugged in in front of the TV?) but I have no other ideas and frankly sometimes I do need to do things alone. Not all the time but sometimes.

Since I simply MUST do somethings alone lets not provide ideas on how to incorporate my children into *MY* potty time or any of my other "alone" activities which I selfishly indludge in while the boob tube is on. Instead I am looking for ideas other than TV to keep toddler and baby occuped while I do them.
For potty time alone, I do take my youngest with me still (15 months) but I give her bath toys or something similar to play with, or just leave the door open and let her play around in our (safe) upstairs. I have put her in the (dry) tub and she enjoys the newness of being in there, making loud noises, banging the tub, etc.So I'm not totally alone, but she is safely occupied.

For computer time, we have an old comp. keyboard that clacks loudly, dd will usually let me distract her with that (not so much anymore, but at 8 mo she enjoyed it.

For longer activities like chores or showering, I can't help you. I used a back carrier when dd was that age for chores, she really enjoyed being able to see what I was doing. I did other chores (like the toilet or tub, things that are difficult with a kid in a carrier) and showered when she slept.
post #36 of 61
I haven't read all the responses, but this is what I do.......DD1 just turned 3. She loves the tv--- so much so that she's glued to it. I really have to limit her. We usually do one video in the morning and then one in the afternoon while her sister is napping (10 months old) so that I can nap too. If I go to take a shower, both girls want to go in with me, so I have to do it during this video/nap combination.
My 10 month old can do a few minutes of things by herself, but she is constantly putting things in her mouth so I have to keep my eye on her. Even though our house is babyproofed, it would only take one little thing and she could choke on it. So I put her in a play pen with lots of toys she hasn't played with in a long time and I jump in the shower. Periodically she gets engrossed in pulling all the tupperware out so I get 10 minutes here and there. I think our children are at a tough age. Everyone tells me it will get easier once they're 4 and 2.
My 10 month old is not as glued to the tv, so I can't use it to do some things by myself.
Dh and I really hate the tv bc of the incessant nagging for it, but we stick to our boundaries. Usually she's telling me she's bored. So I ask if she wants a book or stickers or something. We're very active when the weather is nice, but it's hard in the winter.
post #37 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyDOK
We're very active when the weather is nice, but it's hard in the winter.
That is so true!
post #38 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyMine
I fundementally disagree with your suggestion that an 8m old can't ever be left "alone"
Well, it's certainly your right to disagree with me. Not sure how that translates into me saying you're a bad mom. I don't have any suggestions on how to pee in peace with an 8 month old in the house, but I do hope my suggestions for your 2 year old were helpful.

Namaste!
post #39 of 61
I struggle with the TV thing too, my kids are 4.5 and 2 they both struggle with independent play, if I play trains, play doh, whatever with them, life is great. If I leave to shower suddenly he's taken all the legos and she's throwing the two she has left at his head, and I'm a soapy cold mess trying to fix the problem. If they are watching TV then they won't kill each other when I am in the shower.

We have digital cable, so we can "record" like tivo, anyway I record Magic School bus and they watch 2 every morning, 40 minutes. That is enough time for me to shower, clean up breakfast and find them clothes before we start the day. Since I'm not breaking up fights, being asked to nurse, to play with them ect. I can get us out and starting our day quickly.

Do what you need to do, some of us are so concerned with being the "perfect parent" we neglect ourselves so much that is can have serious consequences
post #40 of 61
I recently unplugged the main floor TV and unhooked the cable connection. I found myself using the TV much in the same way the OP did, and it really impacted my children's behavior. Since we've turned off the TV, my kids have started playing together much more. DS will make up some kind of game and DD is more than happy to follow along. They'll play with each other for an hour or more sometimes, which is nice. Then again, my kids are slightly older than yours. I'm trying to institute a "quiet time" for DS in the afternoon while DD is napping so I can unwind, read a chapter in a book or work on a project. I also "buy" time for myself by setting them up at the kitchen table with paints or crayons or stickers. The only thing they don't tolerate is me getting on the computer. As soon as my behind sits down here, they are all over me. Go figure.....
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