I'm curious if other peope think that it can be difficult to balance attachment parenting with not being too childcentered in their lives. Let me explain.
I recently decided to quit my job (as a midwife) to be a stay at home mom. I have wrestled with this decision for a long time and ultimately I am making the decision not because I think it is better for my son, but really because it is what I want to do. I wouldn't say that I think it is better for children if moms stay home with them, nor would I say that it is better for children if their moms work. What I do think is that it is NOT healthy for children to be the complete center and focus of their parent's lives.
For example, I know a couple in the neighborhood whose son is a bit younger than mine. They are independent documentary film makers. They did this together for years before they had Liam, and they are continuing to do it...and Liam fits into their lives. He has gone with them on the road when they are working, and he has also stayed home with a loving nanny for a long weekend when they were away filming. Maybe that weekend was stressful for Liam, but I think the big picture is that he will grow up seeing both of his parents engaged in work unrelated to him that they find important and meaningful and interesting. That seems really valuable to me.
I think that when you embrace AP as a theory, and get into homeschooling and extended breast-feeding, it can be really really hard to find that balance. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. I think I went into midwifery just to get more of that baby-havin' energy. I'm putting my midwifery career on hold for now because I don't want to feel so stressed out, like I can't give enough to anyone, because I want to be able to nap with my kid in the middle of the day and go to the zoo with him and keep my house cozy and tidy make nice dinners for my family aand feel like I can go for a run or spend time away from my kid without feeling guilty, and not be up in the middle of the night once a week at work and tired all the time and really really do all those incredibly domestic things that my mother's generation fought to NOT have to do.
But I don't want my kid(s) to grow up in a totally child-centered household. I don't think it's good for them. And I am jealous of women who really love their careers and are able to find balance and satisfaction with both working and childrearing.
Kwim?
Jessi
I recently decided to quit my job (as a midwife) to be a stay at home mom. I have wrestled with this decision for a long time and ultimately I am making the decision not because I think it is better for my son, but really because it is what I want to do. I wouldn't say that I think it is better for children if moms stay home with them, nor would I say that it is better for children if their moms work. What I do think is that it is NOT healthy for children to be the complete center and focus of their parent's lives.
For example, I know a couple in the neighborhood whose son is a bit younger than mine. They are independent documentary film makers. They did this together for years before they had Liam, and they are continuing to do it...and Liam fits into their lives. He has gone with them on the road when they are working, and he has also stayed home with a loving nanny for a long weekend when they were away filming. Maybe that weekend was stressful for Liam, but I think the big picture is that he will grow up seeing both of his parents engaged in work unrelated to him that they find important and meaningful and interesting. That seems really valuable to me.
I think that when you embrace AP as a theory, and get into homeschooling and extended breast-feeding, it can be really really hard to find that balance. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. I think I went into midwifery just to get more of that baby-havin' energy. I'm putting my midwifery career on hold for now because I don't want to feel so stressed out, like I can't give enough to anyone, because I want to be able to nap with my kid in the middle of the day and go to the zoo with him and keep my house cozy and tidy make nice dinners for my family aand feel like I can go for a run or spend time away from my kid without feeling guilty, and not be up in the middle of the night once a week at work and tired all the time and really really do all those incredibly domestic things that my mother's generation fought to NOT have to do.
But I don't want my kid(s) to grow up in a totally child-centered household. I don't think it's good for them. And I am jealous of women who really love their careers and are able to find balance and satisfaction with both working and childrearing.
Kwim?
Jessi
