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SAHM's, do you think it is reasonable to expect your SO to stay home from work

post #1 of 58
Thread Starter 
if you are ill or, not?

My dh never ever does this unless, HE is sick. Just wondering how you felt about the issue.
post #2 of 58
Well, both my boys and I have fevers and are sick and I told my dh he'd better stay home friday.

Honestly speaking though, without going into details, it's hardly *that* much help to have him around. It does give me a little break though when the baby is crying and I feel like I've been put through the mincer.
post #3 of 58
I think it would depend on his job, and the nature of my illness. For us, it would mean lost income. So, if I only have a cold or virus, but am still able to function, I wouldn't want him to stay home. If it was serious enought that I required help with my DD3, then I would want him to stay home.
post #4 of 58
My husband goes into work even when he's sick, so he's definitely not staying home when I'm sick. I had Mono when our first DD was a year old and my mother and my aunt took turns taking care of me and my baby. It was frustrating to rely on people outside of the home. My mother works too, but she took time off of work!

That said, my husband also went to work hours after my deliveries. :
post #5 of 58
Yes, if I ask him to, he will take a day off if I need him to.
His company is very family oriented, and flexible. It is one of the reasons he still works there He is very underpaid, but the benefits are amazing.
post #6 of 58
Depends. If I'm feeling crappy but functional, I just loosen our TV restrictions and we watch Muppet Show DVDs and keep it lowkey all day, and he knows that's NOT a good time to work late.

If I'm sick-can't-move, he's salaried and has enough time accrued that staying home for a day or two would be a good thing.
post #7 of 58
My husband won't for a cold- he even didn't when we all had a puking flu, but he did take time off for a scheduled medical procedure and when I had to go to the emergancy room. My husband gets five sick days and they can be used for both if he is sick or caring for sick imidiate family so I get frusterated that I have to throw down to get him to stay home.

I second that person who said that he isn't much help...that is true for me too. He tends to still need me to tell him everything to do.

Add "no days off for illness" to my list of gripes about this job! I still love it mind you but man is it work.
post #8 of 58
Depends on how sick I am. If I am not capable of taking care of the kids, then yes, he has to stay home, because SOMEONE has to take care of the kids.

post #9 of 58
My dh hardly ever gets sick. I can only remember one time in 13 years when he missed work for being sick. SOooo, bc of that, he has little sympathy for others when they're sick (including me).
He did stay home a few days when I was pregnant w/ dd #2 and I was puking and very sick.
His job also is very stressful and he doesn't just get to have a day off--- he has to make up all the work that he missed doing so he usually works at night to make up for it.
I think it's completely reasonable to expect your dh to stay home when you're sick.
post #10 of 58
Yes I do think it is reasonable.
post #11 of 58
I think it's reasonable if you're as sick as he would be if he was so sick he stayed home from work. (Gee, can we make the sentence more complicated? )

The last time my husband stayed home from work for my illness, I had injured my back so badly I could not walk, had a 3 yr old and 6 mo. old. It would've been unsafe to leave the children alone with me. It was terrifying for me not to be able to take care of my children. Luckily I made a quick recovery. I think he only missed 3 days of work.
post #12 of 58
I agree that it depends on the nature of dh's job and how sick you are. I have friends whose dh's simply can't afford to take more days off than they are given.

My dh, on the other hand, has a pretty flexible schedule. It's not at all a problem for him to take time off when he needs to. In our situation, I do find it reasonable to expect him to take days off when I'm sick, and he does it. He can also come home early if I need him to. I would expect anyone in such a situation to take time off if their partner were sick.
post #13 of 58

stay home

I think it reasonable to want them to stay home, although i agree, sometimes they just get in the way.
Recently i had a really bad case of food poisoning, i was dying all day, i let my ds3yrs old watch tv all day,i couldn't get away from the toilet i had to bf my 3month old dd on the toilet, i finally rang him to come home, it then took him 2hrs to get here and then when he did he began getting sick, so off he trotted to bed, "because he was ill", i wanted to scream...it took me 3 days to recover and he was no help.

post #14 of 58
yes, my dh will stay home if I ask him too. But I only do that if I have a fever or cannot get out of bed. I think it is totally resonable if you are truley very sick to have them stay home and take care of the kids. I do alot of things that NEED to get done all day, it's not like I just sit on the couch!
post #15 of 58
He will generally stay home if I ask him to, but I only ask when I'm REALLY not feeling well and know I can't take care of the kids well.
post #16 of 58
DH has a really great union, and gets a ton of sick days, personal days, and "family illness" days, and none of them roll over to the next year and none of them can be cashed in. He himself rarely gets sick, so I wouldn't hesitate to ask him to take a day off if I really needed help. I have in the past, when I've been sick or when DD is particularly ornery. If it was gonna mean trouble for him at work, or if it meant a loss of income, I wouldn't ask unless I was at death's door, but fortunately that's not the case for us. We even occasionally take what we call "mental health" days.
post #17 of 58
I sometimes wish i could get my DH to stay home when im sick but unfortunately that is an elusive dream now mind you i wouldnt want him to stay home if i just had a cold or minor illness but when it is major its really hard because i know he has liberal leave at his work but the last time he took off for me i was in the hospital having surgery . I think its reasonable to ask DH to take a sick day for me even though i know that i am probably not going to get it .
post #18 of 58
Thread Starter 
so it can be a little more clear...what constitutes as a major illness in your oponion? I am asking everyone.
post #19 of 58


i sure do! i've been wanting to ask this question...but about when a baby is sick and you have an/other child/ren. i have 11 month old twins, so when one is sick, the other still needs me so much. i feel like i need back-up in case one's needs get severe. i also think he should stay home if i'm sick, but i haven't been REALLY sick yet, so.......
post #20 of 58
Thread Starter 
mama. I have been there! my twins are 5 now. When they get sick, it doesn't get any easier this age. I need back up often but rarely get it.
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