My 5-year-old DD is in kindergarten. A little background: Her teacher missed about a week or so, returned to the class, then left again in late October for family leave to care for an ill parent. She is a veteran teacher; just by looking at her, I would guess in the 20-year range. Now, she has been gone all of this time, but she was the one who conducted the parent-teacher conference last week.
After telling DH and I we have a good kid, she said, “She is very shy.” She then went on and on about how DD doesn’t raise her hand to answer questions and will totally stay on the sidelines until an activity has commenced, like she is afraid to make a mistake. She told us that we need to boost her self-confidence whenever we can. This is a kid who in 2005 has learned to skate, ride a two-wheeler, swim and tie her shoes. Her self-confidence hardly seems lacking. And academically, she is fine. She is interested in learning to read and write and knows all of the kindergarten essentials. On the playground, she will go up to other kids and introduce herself. It is they who seem taken aback. I chalk up the classroom reticence to fear of making a mistake; i.e., a perfectionist.
My friends thought that perhaps this teacher’s mind is elsewhere and/or she has a poor bedside manner with parents dealing with their very first conference. I tell myself that hey, she hardly knows my kid since she has been gone so much, and that being quiet in class isn’t so bad if you are learning. Still, you can't help worry that she is being looked at as less bright than the outgoing kids.
Has anyone else been through anything like this? If I could afford it, I swear we would go Montessori. She was in a Montessori-style preschool last year, so perhaps the adjustment to public school every-minute-scheduled curriculum is part of the deal. And the preschool teacher said essentially the same thing last year, but she cast it in a favorable light. She called DD an “observer,” saying she is really someone who looks before she leaps and doesn’t miss a trick. That felt better to hear than just having a kid labeled as “shy.”Any input would be appreciated; I have been tossing and turning about this.
After telling DH and I we have a good kid, she said, “She is very shy.” She then went on and on about how DD doesn’t raise her hand to answer questions and will totally stay on the sidelines until an activity has commenced, like she is afraid to make a mistake. She told us that we need to boost her self-confidence whenever we can. This is a kid who in 2005 has learned to skate, ride a two-wheeler, swim and tie her shoes. Her self-confidence hardly seems lacking. And academically, she is fine. She is interested in learning to read and write and knows all of the kindergarten essentials. On the playground, she will go up to other kids and introduce herself. It is they who seem taken aback. I chalk up the classroom reticence to fear of making a mistake; i.e., a perfectionist.
My friends thought that perhaps this teacher’s mind is elsewhere and/or she has a poor bedside manner with parents dealing with their very first conference. I tell myself that hey, she hardly knows my kid since she has been gone so much, and that being quiet in class isn’t so bad if you are learning. Still, you can't help worry that she is being looked at as less bright than the outgoing kids.
Has anyone else been through anything like this? If I could afford it, I swear we would go Montessori. She was in a Montessori-style preschool last year, so perhaps the adjustment to public school every-minute-scheduled curriculum is part of the deal. And the preschool teacher said essentially the same thing last year, but she cast it in a favorable light. She called DD an “observer,” saying she is really someone who looks before she leaps and doesn’t miss a trick. That felt better to hear than just having a kid labeled as “shy.”Any input would be appreciated; I have been tossing and turning about this.
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