Does anyone use childcare for things that are NOT related to working at a job?

[mamasaurus]

For example - running household errands, grocery/other shopping, doctor's appointments, working out at a gym, having a date night with your DH, spending some time with a girlfriend, working on household projects where having your toddler underfoot would really be difficult (maybe painting rooms or something like that), having a little time to yourself, etc.

By "childcare", I mean anyone other than your DH. It could be your mom, sister, other relatives, a church-run Parents Morning Out program, the childcare center at your gym, friends, other moms that you swap childcare with, nanny, a babysitting co-op, babysitter, etc.

I'm just asking because I do this sometimes, and I'm getting some flak from my sister for doing it. She thinks I should try to do everything related to my home on my own, without any help with my children. I just can't believe I'm the only one who does this sometimes. Is there anyone else out there who does this?

[shelbean91]

I'm in school FT, so that could be considered a job or not. But, sometimes if I have major cleaning to do, I'll ask MIL to watch the kids for a couple hours, b/c if they're gone, it will take 2 hrs. If the kids are with me, the 2 hr job will turn into an 8 hr marathon of cleaning b/c of them undoing all I'm doing.

[kaydee]

My dh make a point of having a date night about 2x/month. Usually one of the grandmas stays; sometimes our nanny stays late instead. For other things (errands, seeing friends, participating in activities, etc.) dh and I cover each other. I go to a Weight Watchers meeting one evening a week, around the time my ds is going to bed, and my dh knows he has to stay home then.

[PumpkinSeeds]

Um, what a weird comment from your sister. She's giving you flak because sometimes you run to the bank and the grocery and other errands without your kids?

Gimme a break.

[Treasuremapper]

Just curious, does your sister have any kids? Or is she just being catty? I don't have good childcare, but believe me, if I did, I would much prefer to run tedious errands that are not fun for my children without my children while they were doing something they love to do. Why should they be dragged to the bank and dry cleaners if they could stay at home playing with the sand and water table?

[KaraBoo]

I have a sitter who comes twice a week, generally. She comes once during the day so my husband and I can run errands and have lunch together alone. She comes once during the evening so my husband and I can have a date (usually dinner and a movie or show). This has helped our marriage, and subsequently our parenting, tremendously. And my daughter enjoys the time with her sitter as well.

Note: my situation may be different than others here. My husband is semi-retired and working from home. We also homeschool. So we are always together, the three of us. The twice-a-week sitter deal works well for all of us.

[Yooper]

Ummmmm, yes! I go to the gym 3 times a week and dd is in the day care there each time.

[kofduke]

I go to school part-time. My classes are at night, but DS is in childcare 1 1/2 days per week (one full day and one half day) to allow me time to get my coursework done, do the observations I need to do (60 hrs), etc.

It is the same child care center that he went to FT while I was working, and when I finish school and [hopefully] find a job, he will go back up to FT. Their waiting list is rather long, so by him going on this reduced schedule I'm able to keep his place. I've chosen the times for him to attend that they do most of their preschool activities because it's important to me that he learns these skills as well.

[kamilla626]

For the fall semester, I've been at my internship on Mondays, Wednesdays (1/2 day) , and Fridays, with classes on Tuesdays and Wednesday afternoons. Then I've also been working at a part time job on Friday and Saturday nights.

I haven't had anything scheduled for Thursdays but I've still been bringing her to daycare so I can study, write papers, clean the house, run errands, make appointments, etc.

I don't feel guilty about it. I'm still "working" - just not at a job.

[mmace]

I'm a single mom with three kids, so yes, I sometimes have my mom watch the baby for me while the other two are in school so I can run some errands. I can't count on their father to give me the occassional break, and when you get right down to it - it's much easier to get a haircut or have your teeth cleaned without having a two year old sitting on your lap, you know? I've never had Mom watch her so I could grocery shop or do regular old errands, but I do plan to have her keep her for an afternoon so I can Christmas shop without her - two year olds are sooooooo nosy!

[Trac]

Yes. I have a regular day booked every week with our babysitter. My DH works away, so I don't have anyone to spell me off. There comes a time when you just can't take your child to things, like hair cuts, doctor's appts., standing in line at the bank! It's so much easier to know when I'm booking an appt. on a Wednesday in March, that I will have childcare without having to scramble for it. Sometimes I even use that day to go for a huge walk with the dog! I love those days (and I think the dog likes it, too)!

[mamasaurus]

Originally Posted by inezyv

Just curious, does your sister have any kids? Or is she just being catty? I don't have good childcare, but believe me, if I did, I would much prefer to run tedious errands that are not fun for my children without my children while they were doing something they love to do. Why should they be dragged to the bank and dry cleaners if they could stay at home playing with the sand and water table?

Yes, she has three kids. They are 22, 16, and 13, I believe. Maybe because they were spaced out more she was able to do all the things she needed to do without help. My two girls are 2 years, 4 months apart and taking them out on errands can really give me a migraine some days!

One thing she said that was kind of odd on the subject was, "I don't believe it takes a village to raise a child. I believe it takes a Mom and Dad." I don't know WHAT that had to do with having someone watch your kids so you can take care of some personal errands or have a date night with your DH. I just was talking about having help with my girls!

[boston]

I don't work for pay but I have a lot of work to do, lots of jobs, so I didn't vote. I'm in school 3/4 time, and I am a single parent. So I guess you could say I have my work cut out for me. My dd goes to childcare so I can study and go to class.

[OakBerry]

Maybe she's jealous that you have a break and she never did? Some people seems to pride themselves on the fact that they "never had help". My mom is sort of like that. I remind her that when I was born I had three teenaged sisters, so my mom probably never had to give me a bottle or change my diaper, because they were all over me, lol. She didn't have help with the older kids though.

Anyway, heck yeah, my ds goes to preschool 2 days a week for a couple of hours. I do errands, clean, go to the gym. We used to have a teenaged babysitter to watch ds while we went out for dinner, but she moved. We drop ds off with my mom or sister occasionally so we can grab a quick bite to eat, just the 2 of us.

[elmh23]

Once or twice a month dh and I go on a date on the weekend (2 hours in the middle of the day.) Other than that, the only time we leave her is when I have a dentist appt. and dh can't get off work, and the only reason we leave her then is because the drill would scare her and she'd be grabbing at everything.

[phathui5]

My MIL is going to be at our house on Tuesday to help me clean and to watch the two bigger kids so I can go for a walk. She generally comes every third Tuesday but this month was a little off. I don't use childcare so I can work out yet, but I want to when James is older.

[Marsupialmom]

We have occassionally dump the kids off at my mil's so we could umm huummmmmm. LOL

We have cleaned the house also while the kids are at g-ma's.

I see nothring wrong with doing that occassionally. Even regularly for things like gym.

[Treasuremapper]

Your sister sounds like a character. Who knows why she is picking on you. Is she concerned about the people you are leaving your children with? Is she just competitive and wants to put you down?

My dds are 22 months apart, and my younger dd would get seriously carsick even on short errands. You're darned tootin that I would leave them home if at all possible.

[mamasaurus]

Originally Posted by inezyv

Your sister sounds like a character. Who knows why she is picking on you. Is she concerned about the people you are leaving your children with?

Well, I don't know. We recently hired a nanny who is a lesbian, and my sister definitely has a problem with that. She is a very conservative religious person. Come to think of it, she never said anything about our childcare situation until we hired our new nanny.

[Treasuremapper]

Originally Posted by mamasaurus

Well, I don't know. We recently hired a nanny who is a lesbian, and my sister definitely has a problem with that. She is a very conservative religious person. Come to think of it, she never said anything about our childcare situation until we hired our new nanny.

Ah ha!

Bingo. I bet that could have something to do with it. What does your gut tell you?