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Nudity at home, shared baths, etc.

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
We've always been pretty open about our bodies at home. We'll walk around the house 1/2 naked, digging through the clean laundry piles in the living room. Dd knows most of the names for her parts, dh and I rarely bother to close the bathroom door (when we don't have guests!), etc.

I sometimes join dd in her bath, but I'm starting to feel a little wierd about. I know that's just my own issue, but what do others feel about a "cut-off age" for a girl playing in the tub with Mommy? What about daughters & fathers?

FYI, dd is about 2.5
post #2 of 40
My dd (also 2.5) and ds (6mos) both shower with me and dh. I don't feel like there is a cut off time except for when they are able to shower on their own. FWIW I showered with my mom until I was 6 or so.
post #3 of 40
I bath with both of my children. My DS is 4 and my DD is 1. We are cramped in the tub but it works for us Most of the time the only way I can get a bath in is to bathe with them.
post #4 of 40
I still hang out nude with my mom when we swim in the pond, take saunas, or keep each other company when one of us is in the bath. I don't bathe with her, but that's cause we wouldn't both fit in the tub. My father is also not shy about nudity and we have both been naked in front of each other as adults during my childhood, especially when swimming (we aren't big on bathing suits )

DH bathes with both kids (he does the bathtime ritual in our home), but both kids shower with me. We sleep in the buff and the kids come into bed with us in the mornings. They are still toddlers and eventually I imagine there will be some natural modesty and clearly innapropriate times for nudity, but I don't want it to be a big thing in our household.

If you are uncomfortable being naked in front of your child, then that is something you should honor. Don't force yourself to do something that doesn't feel right because you think you should feel differently. I come from a very laid back family in nudity sense (possibly too many years lived in Europe ) but my husband can't remember EVER seeing his parents naked. Somehow he still wound up relaxed about nudity. Who knows how these things happen.

I know you will get replies from people who have very strong opinions about this. I don't think being naked in front of your kids is harmful UNLESS THEY TELL YOU IT BOTHERS THEM, then your should respect that.

post #5 of 40
ITA w/ the PP's!! My oldest is7 1/2 and we don't hide our bodies yet. No biggie...is we did it likely would be a biggie...but it's all good!!
post #6 of 40
We are open with our nudity here. My girls know the difference between boys and girls because dad doesn't hide anything...and he shouldn't. To them it is natural, as it should be. They also know that they must be dressed in front of other people because they aren't family.

One of my early memories was when my mother, who was newly introduced to Christianity, decided suddenly that I couldn't see her nude anymore. I was about three or four. That was the first time I ever looked at her as being naked, and couldn't understand how it was suddenly bad. Guilt was introduced. I won't do that to my children. If my nudity makes them uncomfortable, or vice versa, then it will be a natural process and we'll go from there.

As far as them seeing dad nude, I don't know how I'll feel about that as they grow older. My girls are only 1 1/2 and 3 years right now so they're just little.
post #7 of 40
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Autumnschild
One of my early memories was when my mother, who was newly introduced to Christianity, decided suddenly that I couldn't see her nude anymore. I was about three or four. That was the first time I ever looked at her as being naked, and couldn't understand how it was suddenly bad. Guilt was introduced. I won't do that to my children. If my nudity makes them uncomfortable, or vice versa, then it will be a natural process and we'll go from there.
That makes a lot of sense. I don't want to introduce shame and guilt in connection with nudity. But my own upbringing was so different, it's hard not to feel as though as some point I need to just cover up.

Part of me really wants to be more open and comfortable with nudity, but I'm just not there yet, and I don't want my discomfort leading to discomfort for dd, kwim?
post #8 of 40
We are very open about nudity at our house, and will continue to be until dd tells us to put some clothes on. My parents were very uptight about nudity, I remember accidently seeing my father naked when I was 4 and they flipped out, I still remember the shame I felt, it took me a long time to be comfortable with male nudity, as well as my own. I didn't see my mom naked until I was a teenager. I don't want the same for dd, I want her to be comfortable with different body images.
post #9 of 40
We are a pretty open household. You kids will let you know when and if they are uncomfortable with nudity....theirs or yours. If you are uncomfortable with your own nudity and wish to be more comfortable with it then do things like sleep naked. You'll get used to seeing yourself in your own skin. If you'd rather not bath with your DD anymore then don't, but make it a gentle transition so it doesn't upset her. There is not numerical cut off age. You do what is right for your family. IMO A person being nude is just as sexual as a mom uncovering her breast to feed her baby.
post #10 of 40
My breasts are exposed as I am nursing often, but I am not nude ever. I dress behind closed doors. I prefer my privacy. I stopped bathing with DS1 when he was about 4 or so.
post #11 of 40
The problem I have with being nude is that DH makes coments. Good comments, but, I dunno, I just feel weird having DD hear them. I guess I shouldn't, as they could help her to see the beauty in the eh, Rubenesque female form, thus helping her self esteem later...yadda yadda. How do you keep the sexual parts of being naked separate from the relaxed and comfy "don't feel like wearing clothes" part of being naked? Or do you?
post #12 of 40
I always have on at least panties and a bra but that's just going from bedroom to bathroom, if I'm lounging around I am always dressed in a top and bottoms of somekind ie tanktop and shorts or pajama pants. I just don't feel comfortable being naked other than when I need to be like showering or sex. Dh is like me in that regard, he has to have underwear on at all times too
post #13 of 40
Maybe I will think about covering up around ds when the memories of him sliding out my birth canal are a little less vivid.

Ahem. Seriously. I was raised by hippies who did things like sauna with friends, so I saw all kinds of naked when I was little, and the men started covering up when I was six or so. We aren't hippies, but I expect that both our dc (dd is due in May, hooray!) will see us naked when we are bathing for as long as they are inclined to wander into our bathroom, and see us pretty much naked whenever we are alone among family and the weather is hot.

My mother and I take saunas and change clothes together, and everybody including in-laws got an eyeful of boob when I was learning how to nurse. Nudity is definitely not sexy in my book, unless you are getting naked in order to have sex.
post #14 of 40
We're not shy about nudity here either. I bathe with DD and shower with her - she's 2-1/2. DH doesn't like to shower with her and he doesn't take baths so I do all bathing with her. However, he will often times give DD a bath.

We joined the Y recently. Their policy is that kids can go into the opposite sex parent's locker room until they are 6 years old.

My mom and I (and DD) have all seen each other naked within the past 6 months. I used to like to go into the bathroom with my mom for a bath and when she thought I was too old (probably just too big) she would let me put my feet in the hot water while she bathed and we'd get some time together.

I used to sleep naked too but we co-sleep and I am uncomfortable with that. Not so much because of any worry of sexuality but more because of practicality. DD is very cuddly and still nurses at least once or twice during the night and she's tall. I always wear underwear or pajama bottoms because I have been accidentally kicked during the night. DH always wears underwear and sometimes he'll add a T-shirt if it's cold at night.
post #15 of 40
i think the cut off date is when you or your dc is uncomfortable. i still bathe (not often, ut thats only b/c i dont gey much time to take a bath) w/ my 2nd ds...my first got weird about his nudity a few years ago when he became a teenager...ive never trewated it as a big deal so my kids dont either.
post #16 of 40
I agree with PP that there is no numerical age associated with nudity appropriateness. Your child will let you know when and if they start feeling uncomfortable with your/their nudity.

We are pretty open here too. DD is 3 and DS is 6 mos, and we all bathe together, walk around nude looking for clothes, etc when we don't have company! DD knows all the names of body parts, and knows what some of them are used for. DD has been heard to say "Baby brother! How's your penis?!" and when role-playing "Here comes my baby out from my vagina!" (this has been WITH guests over )

Like a PP, I remember seeing my dad naked when I was 7 or so. My mother was so po'd at me because she thought I was already in bed. To this day I remember the shame and guilt at seeing him. It shouldn't be that way.
post #17 of 40
I grew up in a VERY open family, it was never a big deal to us. I'm the same way with my children.

My husband grew up in a very private family, saw his mother in her bra once at 14 and says he was traumatized. Seriously, I think it WAS a big deal because it just wasn't done. KWIM?

As long as all parties are comfortable, then I think it's fine.
post #18 of 40
Lish, I'm really curious about your experience with nudity in your family. I don't want to teach my kids to be ashamed of their or other people's bodies. But I wasn't raised around comfortable nudity. Did your family just continue to be comfortable with nudity (looking for clothes nude, leaving the bathroom, sleeping nude, etc) into adolescence?
Do you talk about this with your kids, is it just not thought about and is normal? How do you teach kids to be clothed around company and not teach them shame? Modesty but not shame?
Hope that all made sense.
If you could share more, I think it would be helpful to many folks here. Thanks so much!
post #19 of 40
im glad i found this....i thought we were the only ones
post #20 of 40
Originally Posted by mammafish78
im glad i found this....i thought we were the only ones
I think it's pretty common actually. We had a discussion on a completely main stream site and the answers were pretty much the same.
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