planning friends baby shower

[helpme]

I'm new here, and have only been trying for 4 months, but having a hard time dealing with all of the emotions. 4 of my friend got pregnant in the past few months right away without any problems. I'm now planning a baby shower for one of my friends, but getting very upset everytime I think about babies. I would really like to plan her a great shower, but don't know how to ignore my emotions at the same time.
Does it normally take several months to get pregnant if I"m not infertile? My friends make it seem so easy!
How do I plan my friends baby shower without getting upset?

[chiromama]

If you've only been trying a few months, i wouldn't worry, unless you have some history of problems (like not having periods) that may lead you to think there is something up. Depending on your age, a few months to a year is completely normal to get pregnant. However, follow your intuition, if you truly think there is something wrong, seek help.. see an ND, LAc, or MD.
As for planning a baby shower without getting upset, I have no advice there. I have avoided them like the plague for a long time, and now that I (and many of my infertile friends are) am pregnant looks like I'll venture into that again. Remember to be gentle with yourself, and if you need to step back, do so, your feelings are truly more important than a party.

[Pookietooth]

: what she said! Four months isn't long, but if you feel that you have something wrong, such as irregular periods, then it can be a good idea to do something sooner than one year, which is the usual cutoff. Have you been charting your temps? Have you read up on fertility signs ("The Garden of Fertility" is a good one)?

[helpme]

THank you for the great advice. It just seems like forever that we've been trying, and everyone around me gets pregnant right away! I'm under 30, so I thought I'd get pregnant quickly as well. I'm keeping track of my temperature and I think I'm doing everything right. I haven't read the fertility signs book though, I'll look into that.

[OTMomma]

As far as planning the party goes- well, I have had 6 people close to me have babies while I've been ttc, so I've had to do that sort of thing.

My first advice is that if you don't feel up to dealing with it right this minute, wait. I am guessing that your friend isn't due this month, so you can delay working on the party until you feel ready to deal with it.

When you do feel like dealing with it, think of it as planning a special party for your friend, and don't focus on the baby part. You might even want to plan to have it as a nice lunch out at a restaurant, so you won't have to deal with decorating and all that as much. If you can't deal with shopping for a gift, give her a gift certificate- it can even be for a massage or a book store, something a new mom would love, but doesn't put you close to the baby stuff. Most people just assume skip the dopey games anyway- Who really wants to put a diaper on a doll? So you can just focus on pampering your friend a little and create something you are happy to attend.

I hope this helps. I also want to say I agree that 4 months isn't long! And it does suck to have super fertile friends.

peace,
Laura