Oh My, I'm losing the battle......

[ekblad9]

Seems I'm at the end of my rope more than I would like to be these days. I call or email my dh at least once/week and say I'm sending the kids to school. I don't want to do that, I love homeschooling, I believe in homeschooling, but I'm so overwhelmed and burnt out that I don't know what to do. We've done everything from "book" homeschooling to unschooling and I can't seem to find anything that fits our style. I'm frustrated with the littler kids b/c they require so much attention, there's sibling rivalry, unfinished laundry, tons of cleaning, I'm isolated but too lazy/tired to take the kids to a bunch of activities. I don't know what to do. Even on days that we do "nothing" I'm stressed out. I need some homeschooling mamas to give me some support. I haven't *been* here in ages as I rarely have "me" time on the computer. Thank you!

[AngelBee]

I am sorry you are feeling so stressed. I don't have any real advice but you will be in my :

[wonderactivist]

Back to Basics

Dear Amy,

I certainly don't have six kids , so I'm not sure how useful any advice I have will be, but here are some things that have helped me before. I hope you find something that works for you...

First, just pause everything about schooling for a day. Get a friend to watch the kids for a couple of hours if you can - maybe weekly for a while. Then sit down with a nice, warm cuppa tea or java.

It sounds like you need to find your center again.

For me, nothing goes right when I lose my center - that's why I end up writing late at night a lot. When you have yourself nourished, everything just flows better and the yucky stuff rolls off better.

Life is full of little twists that change your equilibrium, and sometimes you just have to adapt everything thing else to fit into this new balance. It will take a bit of time and reflection, maybe some yoga, meditation, or tai chi, and possibly some extra support and date-time with your husband. Give yourself time to reflect regularly, honor your needs. You have to take care of the teacher to take care of the students.

Then when you re-establish homeschooling, consider a daily rhythm if you don't already have one. I've written some articles about rhythm in homeschool here: http://mysite.verizon.net/res2216j/wonder/id85.html
but this is just an idea that helps me. I still think that finding your unique center again will help you more than anything else.

Invest in you! The rest will follow.

Lucie Smoker

[Monda]

I know how you feel. It is especially hard when you deal with the same problems over and over again.

Maybe a week off would be good. Or perhaps a week of half days where you only do the subjects that are funnest (for us that is journaling and Spanish). Take that time to clean the house a bit and read a few supportive homeschooling books. Maybe some Ruth Beechick or Diana Waring.

You can do this Momma, you just have to find what works for you.

[UnschoolnMa]

I only have 2 kids, but I do understand how having littles can be tiresome. How about having just a few brief times a day that are for picking up and folding laundry? Like 10 minutes in the morning and evening? That always helped for me anyway. It helps to know that even though there is a pile of papers on the counter and towels on the floor that they will get picked up later that day. I agree that maybe having a friend or someone to come hang with the kids might be helpful even if for just a half an hour. As far as activities go is there just one or two things that aren't too overwhelming close by like maybe a library thing or ?? Hang in there.

[boysrus]

hugs to you. I dont have any great words, just admiration for you

[jannjoe]

I read my husband this part.....

Originally Posted by ekblad8

Seems I'm at the end of my rope more than I would like to be these days. I call or email my dh at least once/week and say I'm sending the kids to school. I don't want to do that, I love homeschooling, I believe in homeschooling, but I'm so overwhelmed and burnt out that I don't know what to do. We've done everything from "book" homeschooling to unschooling and I can't seem to find anything that fits our style. I'm frustrated with the littler kids

and then read this "Amy, mom to 6 so far"

He had a look of total empathy on his face as his heart went out to you and said "I guess so"

My point... Don't be so hard on yourself, step back, take a deep breath and give yourself a hug.

I'm starting to figure out my guys love to help me if I'm gentle with them . THis "Guys this room looks terrible, clean it up" didn't work.
But
"Hey sweetheart if you could just pick up all the legos and put them in here that would be great" next.."now it all the crayons could be put in there" once done.. "could you take this bag and put all those pieces of paper that yoiu don't want in here for garbage that would be such a great help."
Just one small goal at a time works great with them. Works very well with me to .... an the days that I can remember to not to look at the "big" picture and just pat myself on back after each job completed. (very hard to do that though most days)

[mattemma04]

//

[UUMom]

Do you have any hsing friends with older children who might like to come and be mothers' helpers one or two times a week? It might seem crazy to have more kids in the house, but I found that someone else pushing the kids on the swings, or rolling playdough balls really was a huge help.

You say you are too 'lazy' to get out. I am sure you are *not* lazy. You are overwhelmed and tired. I could be you have a bit of post partum depression -- exhaustion is one thing, but losing interest in all things is something else. I can only imagine how exhausted you must be and only you know if this not wanting to do things is different for you. Is what you're feeling due to pure exhaustion, of is it a chemical imbalance issue. It might be something you could talk with a trusted health care provider about. Do you feel irritated at the littlest things?

I know it sounds *crazy* to suggest to a mother of 6 small children that it's important to take care of you when you have no time to, but it must somehow be done. They are counting on you. You're counting on you.

[zonapellucida]

OH I can soooooooooooooooo empathize!!!!!!!! I want to lock myslef int he bathroom sometimes ans never come out! cyber hugs for you!!!! When things get really crazy around her I tell the girls, if we get ________________ done you can hcae tomorrow afternoon off and that seems to motivate for now. I am always trying something new. (and subscribing to this thread for suggestions!!)

[ekblad9]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have but a moment right now but I wanted to let you all know I've been reading your suggestions and I feel so good about them. More later.