Aspiring midwives or doulas - Page 5

[mamato3cherubs]

Intro, LONG

Wow, i just read through almost all the post on this thread and have decided to introduce myself.
I have thought about the idea of becoming a doula ever since I heard about them and knew what it was. hmmm, years ago, dont know exactly when. It has jsut been the last 6 months or so that I have thought about it as a reality. I am one of those who always thinks " that would be nice, but I could never do that" simply because I dont know where to start.
SOOOO, I dont know where to start! I live in a real small town and work part time at a local post office. As good as a job with the Postal service is, it really is not very rewarding to mail peoples packages.

I see most people here are midwives, or going to be, ect. I would LOVE to go on to be a CNM, BUT that requires becoming a nurse and I dont know if i could do that. I dont want to be a nurse in any other way, or start as a nurses assistant, or anything like that as I am not interested in other types of medical work at all. The problem is that as crunchy as I am now, I still am terrified of homebirth. Birth center setup is OK, with a fast plan to the hospital. (I am NOT criticizing anyone who does or is involved in homebirth in any way!!) so that throws out any other type of midwifery.

My long term dream has been to become an ultrasound tech. I am very mathamatical and have a science centered mind. Just can help it. I have all the same crunchy feelings that most of you do I'm sure when it comes to having babies(pg and birth are normal, natural, and in most cases need no intervention at all), but I am sooo fascinated with what ultrasound can do. I could go on forever. anyways, I guess that makes my actual dream this. I would like to work as an ultrasound tech for a day job and doula on the side.

School is out of the question right now but I would really like to begin the journey to becoming a doula. My youngest is 2 now so I feel the kids are old enough for me to do this. WE just found out a cousin and good friend of mine is pg and she really wants me to act as doula for her labor and delivery so I am shopping for books right now so I can begin reading and studying up!

Where do I start. This is such a small town. there is one doula in town that I know of so I know there isnt much a possible client population out there. And I am sure no one would want me to shadow them and learn so that I can just go on to take clients that could have been more for her. KWIM?

[jlpetitte]

Mamato3cherubs~ How exciting for you! The first thing I would do is look into Doula training. I would look into the DONA website for upcoming trainings: http://www.dona.org/. That will give you a good idea of where to start. I would also read lots of books, I think there is a thread here somewhere on suggested books. I would definitely read the Birth Partner, Spiritual Midwifery, etc...

The problem is that as crunchy as I am now, I still am terrified of homebirth. Birth center setup is OK, with a fast plan to the hospital. (I am NOT criticizing anyone who does or is involved in homebirth in any way!!) so that throws out any other type of midwifery.

Don't take this the wrong way , that quote worries me a little. No matter what aspect of birth you work with (Doula or midwife) this is the most important part. You really have to work through this otherwise you will be holding this energy of distrust. I would suggest reading, studying, talking to people who trust birth- the internet is a great resource. Also, see if you can find a homebirth midwife to shadow or apprentice to give you a real appreciation for the normalcy of birth. CNMs also can do homebirth.

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by jlpetitte

Mamato3cherubs~ How exciting for you! The first thing I would do is look into Doula training. I would look into the DONA website for upcoming trainings: http://www.dona.org/. That will give you a good idea of where to start. I would also read lots of books, I think there is a thread here somewhere on suggested books. I would definitely read the Birth Partner, Spiritual Midwifery, etc...



Don't take this the wrong way , that quote worries me a little. No matter what aspect of birth you work with (Doula or midwife) this is the most important part. You really have to work through this otherwise you will be holding this energy of distrust. I would suggest reading, studying, talking to people who trust birth- the internet is a great resource. Also, see if you can find a homebirth midwife to shadow or apprentice to give you a real appreciation for the normalcy of birth. CNMs also can do homebirth.

I agree that there needs to be trust in birth. Peggy Vincent's book "The baby catcher" and Ina May Gaskin's books "Spiritual midwifery" and "Ina May's guide to childbirth" REALLY helped me to completely trust in birth. It helped me to let go of the few reservations about birth that I was hanging on to. As for doula training, you can also do training through CAPPA or ALACE. I chose CAPPA. Here is a great link that compares several doula training organizations:

http://www.mother-care.ca/CDchart.html

Check it out and see which one works best for you! In the meantime, just keep reading reading reading all the birth books you can get your hands on.

[mamato3cherubs]

Originally Posted by jlpetitte

Don't take this the wrong way , that quote worries me a little. No matter what aspect of birth you work with (Doula or midwife) this is the most important part. You really have to work through this otherwise you will be holding this energy of distrust. I would suggest reading, studying, talking to people who trust birth- the internet is a great resource. Also, see if you can find a homebirth midwife to shadow or apprentice to give you a real appreciation for the normalcy of birth. CNMs also can do homebirth.

Hmmm, Im not really sure how to put this into words. I couldnt have a homebirth myself. The position of Doula is different than the position of the midwife. I dont have a problem with others choices to homebirth(cant say how I would feel if it was my sister or daughter however). As a doula my responsibility would lie in helping the mother. The midwife is responsible for the well being of the baby. I know that sounds harsh and maybe a bit out of reality, but I hope you can get what Im saying. As afraid as I am of the posible outcome of homebirth gone wrong, I know I can seperate myself from it as long as I dont have to be the responsible one if there is a problem. Like I said before I know that sounds harsh but it is the only way I think I can type it out.

Thanks for the link! I am going to check into it, I know that there used to be a certification about an hour away, it might come down to money holding me back for a little while.

Unfortunantly we dont have any midwives in this area. I think the closest homebirth midwife is 2 cities and 2 hours away. We had a nice birthcenter in town run by a CNM that had been practicing here for many years but in our state they have a hard time. It was big political trouble with insurance payments and such and the midwives working there couldnt afford to keep it going any more so they shut down and she retired. Oh, i take it back there is one midwife in town working with one of the OBs, but the reputation she has is worse than the worst OB in town.

We dont even have a worthy OB any more, there was only one good one in town and he had a major medical problem and was forced to retire. Most of the drs have all been forced out of OB work due to unrealistically over blown malpractice insurance prices. But Im sure most are familiar with those things and we dont need to go there, but it has had an affect on the situation with midwifes as well.
Maybe I should just move!!

[Jilian]

I keep forgetting to ask, has anyone heard of something called "baby balm"? At the birth I attended a few days ago the nurse came in (she was also a doula) when my client was around 8 cm (with a bulging bag of waters) and asked if she was sensitive to smells. My client said no and the nurse pulled out this little essential-oil type bottle and told my client's DH to rub it on her lower back. He did and within 5 mins her water broke and she was complete shortly after. I asked her about it later on and she said it helped stimulate the release of oxytocin and it was a "blend of herbs" but that was really all she said. I'd like to hear more about it is anyone knows anything about it.

[mamato3cherubs]

Originally Posted by Jilian

I agree that there needs to be trust in birth. Peggy Vincent's book "The baby catcher" and Ina May Gaskin's books "Spiritual midwifery" and "Ina May's guide to childbirth" REALLY helped me to completely trust in birth. It helped me to let go of the few reservations about birth that I was hanging on to. As for doula training, you can also do training through CAPPA or ALACE. I chose CAPPA. Here is a great link that compares several doula training organizations:

http://www.mother-care.ca/CDchart.html

Check it out and see which one works best for you! In the meantime, just keep reading reading reading all the birth books you can get your hands on.

I probably should not have mentioned my trouble there as I dont want to go into my reasons. I will just say that I believe that one baby's death during or right after a homebirth that could have been easily avoided by having the resorces of a good physician and hospital, is too many. there are emergency situations everyday that we dont hear about because they were quickly resolved. It is not that I dont trust in the birth process itself, or the womans body, it is the fact that if everyone homebirthed the rate of still born babies would jump enormously.
Now at the same time, I am only talkiing about those 1 in 1000 cases. I am completely for nonintervention in all other cases. I had 3 completely natural (aside from antibiotics for 2 births due to positive group B strep, not an intervention in my mind) hospital deliverys. I was just strong enough to know what I wanted and hold my ground reguardless of what any nurse or dr told me. The risk for me was just too high, even if it appeared to be none at all.

well I said I wouldnt go into detail so I didnt, even though Im sure what I said would register as that to some. I love the support I have already seen in this tribe and i dont criticize anyone else for there choices and feelings so I hope I can still se that great cupport and not be criticized for mine.
Thanks for listening

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by mamato3cherubs

I will just say that I believe that one baby's death during or right after a homebirth that could have been easily avoided by having the resorces of a good physician and hospital, is too many. there are emergency situations everyday that we dont hear about because they were quickly resolved. It is not that I dont trust in the birth process itself, or the womans body, it is the fact that if everyone homebirthed the rate of still born babies would jump enormously.

There are also fetal deaths that happen every day in hospitals that we don't hear about. There are complications and life-threatening situations that arise from unnecessary medical interventions. For some reason none of these are made public. But god forbid a baby die during a homebirth, the media swarms and the midwife is made to look like a murderer. I think it is because most people have come to accept hospital births as the norm, and to most mainstreamers homebirths are crazy and risky. I think they are much safer.

If everyone homebirthed the rate of c-sections would go down. WAYYYYY down. The rate of ALL interventions would go down. I don't agree that the rate of stillborn babies would jump enormously. Midwives have to follow certain rules and look for certain things that would merit a hospital transfer. Most midwives know when something truly needs medical attention. Homebirth candidates must be healthy and have a fairly "normal" pregnancy. Not everyone can have a homebirth.

You are certainly entitled to your opinion and I am not saying it is wrong. I just feel differently towards homebirths. Especially because I had a hospital birth. It was a natural birth attended by a mw, but still a classic hospital birth where lots of my rights were taken from me.

[jlpetitte]

Yes, I just want to add death is a reality in birth. Its bound to happen unfortunately sometimes no matter where you choose to give birth. Midwives and doulas actually should consider the safety of mother and baby simultaneously. The fact is 90% of births are completely "normal" without intervention and that is something that needs to be accepted. Constantly looking for deviations can cause problems. There are circumstances sometimes that looking back on you might be able to say "well, if this would have happened then they would have been fine." Thats always easier to say looking back, the fact is that usually no one knows all the facts involved and people do to the best of their ability. NO ONE ever wants a mother or baby to suffer consequences of their choices, we are all human. I just feel strongly that the biggest problem in birth today is that there are too many people involved that do not really trust in the process- look at our cesarean rate for example.

if everyone homebirthed the rate of still born babies would jump enormously.

This is a statement that I don't agree with and is false. Research has shown that for low risk mothers, homebirth has less risks than hospital births. For example, if we look at the c-section rate in homebirths versus hospital births for low risk mothers the risk of death is substantially different. A vaginal birth is 1 in 10,000, a c-section is 1 in 2,500. We know that OBs have much higher c-section rates than midwives and that homebirth interventions are even lower.

I am only stating what I know to be true. I think its important for people to examine their own beliefs about birth and their preconceptions sorrounding it before involving themselves in the birth environment. I always look at birth from a place of normalcy, knowing that occassionaly things come up and you do the best you can with the decisions you make and you also realize that we are all human.

[channelofpeace]

Originally Posted by mamato3cherubs

As afraid as I am of the posible outcome of homebirth gone wrong, I know I can seperate myself from it as long as I dont have to be the responsible one if there is a problem.

I am glad that we can dialouge about this. This is the same way i feel about hospitals. In an ideal world, i would love to only attend homebirths, but that is far from reasonable given the birthing climate around here. And the fact that women birthing in hospitals need a doula waaaaaay more FTMP. I feel entirely more apprehensive about clients that are birthing in hospitals because not only do they have to deal with their own energy but also the energy of people that they don't know from Adam and may not mesh with. The environment is already there in the homebirth, but you have to make a protective cocoon around a woman birthing in a hospital. I know how vulnerable a laboring woman is and believe they are in danger of being around a lot more harmful things in a hospital then they are at home.

Thanks for bringing this up, Lisa.

[mamato3cherubs]

Originally Posted by milkydoula

I am glad that we can dialouge about this. This is the same way i feel about hospitals. In an ideal world, i would love to only attend homebirths, but that is far from reasonable given the birthing climate around here. And the fact that women birthing in hospitals need a doula waaaaaay more FTMP. I feel entirely more apprehensive about clients that are birthing in hospitals because not only do they have to deal with there own energy but also the energy of people that they don't know from Adam and may not mesh with. The environment is already there in the homebirth, but you have to make a protective cocoon around a woman birthing in a hospital. I know that vulnerable labor women are in danger of being around a lot more harmful things in a hospital then they are at home.

Thanks for bringing this up, Lisa.

I agree with much of what you have said here Erin and I think you do understand me at least, even if you dont agree with me. and thank you for being receptive of me and my feelings. I really appreciate that you can talk about it without getting hostile.

I am sorry I mentioned this at all. I really didnt want to stir anything up and i dont want this to be what everyone thinks of when I post here, with questions, or thoughts.

Everyone is going to get there info from one place or another, and I am certain that it is all going to be scewed (sorry cant spell) one way or the other based on who is doing the research, info gathering, ect.

I am not ignorant to the risks associtated with a hospital delivery. I know how much unnessacary intervention takes place and the trouble with c/s. I also know that it is the patients that have pushed it to that point over the years. so even good drs do them when they dont want to because they cant afford not to or they would not have a practice. it is a messed up world in many ways, and just as you all have been influenced by personal things in your life that have helped lead you to the feelings you have so have I.

I will not post about this again and thank you to those of you who can read this without judging me and I hope you can still welcome me to the group here as I am not judging you and would still like to be a part of it.

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by mamato3cherubs

I am sorry I mentioned this at all. I really didnt want to stir anything up and i dont want this to be what everyone thinks of when I post here, with questions, or thoughts.

I will not post about this again and thank you to those of you who can read this without judging me and I hope you can still welcome me to the group here as I am not judging you and would still like to be a part of it.

I'm not sorry you mentioned it. I enjoy hearing other people's views and fears on births. It helps me as a doula when I can see where other people's birth-related fears and anxieties are coming from. I hope you didn't think I was being hostile in my post, that certainly wasn't my intent. I'm not here to judge and you are certainly welcome in this group. I like that we can talk about issues surrounding birth in a safe environment here and it doesn't have to turn into a flame war (like on some other sites).

Thanks for sharing your opinions with us, I've learned a lot from your post.

[jlpetitte]

I'm not sorry you mentioned it. I enjoy hearing other people's views and fears on births. It helps me as a doula when I can see where other people's birth-related fears and anxieties are coming from. I hope you didn't think I was being hostile in my post, that certainly wasn't my intent. I'm not here to judge and you are certainly welcome in this group. I like that we can talk about issues surrounding birth in a safe environment here and it doesn't have to turn into a flame war (like on some other sites).

Mamato3cherubs~ I completely agree with what Jillian stated. This is a forum to have discussions and learn from each other. We won't all agree on everything and thats o.k. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Of course you are welcome here !

[Persephone]

Well, I've only read the last page so far, but I thought I'd jump in here. I haven't as of yet, because I really feel like my doula aspirations are being put on hold for a while as I give birth to and raise my own little ones. I aspire to be a doula, not a midwife. I have never been into the medical side of things, and I love helping people, so I think being a doula is an ideal thing for me. I have a lot of love inside to give. In January of this year, I decided to stop thinking about it, and JUST DO IT. That is, take the steps needed to become a doula. I met a great group of women in my city who supported me, and made some friends out of it. It was EXACTLY what I needed at exactly the time I needed it. In May, I went for my doula training. A week before the training, I found out I was pg. I had hoped to become certified before I had the baby, but it's just not gonna happen that way. Since DONA give you two years to complete your certification, I'm not gonna make it. I"m kind of sad, because I feel like all that money has gone to waste. All the money for the certification, and the training, and all that. But, many good things have come out of this past year, and I don't regret doing any of it. One of the coolest things is I've gotten to attend two births, and it's a privelege to do that, especially as a first time pregnant woman. Even more enduring is the friendships and camraderie with other doulas I met in the past year. I've learned a lot about myself.

My eventual goal is to become what I call a "continuous care doula" -- as far as I know I made up that term. I feel very strongly that the postpartum period in our culture is ignored to a great extent. I would like to ideally, meet a woman in her pregnancy, provide emotional support through that, support her at her birth, and in the postpartum period. I think we need this support so much in our culture, where PPD is so prevalent. We need to be taken care of, as we take care of our babies. This is something I can see myself doing til the day I die, even if I have to put it on hold while I'm nursing. I'd like to provide this service for a discount or for free to single young mothers, who might not get the information about breastfeeding, the cost cutting things you can do, and for their own empowerment.


But for now, all that is on hold while I nurture my own babies. There will be plenty of time later in life to nurture other mothers. After my child grows a bit, I would like to study postpartum doula care, and work on that, because it's something I can take my baby with me to do, and it's easier to schedule than birth. But again... gotta wait on that for a bit, thankfully not as long as I would for being a birth doula.

Looking forward to being part of the discussion.

[mamato3cherubs]

Originally Posted by jlpetitte

Mamato3cherubs~ I completely agree with what Jillian stated. This is a forum to have discussions and learn from each other. We won't all agree on everything and thats o.k. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Of course you are welcome here !

thanks ladies. I feel better now I guess I am so used to the "other" groups that I jumped to conclusions. Im sorry for that. I am not that way IRL. I will also appologize ahead of time for all my typos, mis-spelled words(the only thing I always struggled with in school, lol), and my very long posts as I have a terrible habit of carrying on.

On another note, I have been searching, as money is tight, for used books that I need to get started on my reading and I have already set up a trade for the first one!

[A&L+1]

Hello!

I have been reading through this thread since it started but I haven't felt I should speak up. I am not ready to call myself aspiring - but what the heck, here I am!

It is my eventual goal to become a midwife (CPM/LM). I intend to take the ALACE doula training in March. ALACE because thier style and beliefs fit best (imo) with the Midwifery Model of Care and because the timing for the training in my area is right. I have a little fear that by not doing DONA training I am at a disadvantage with clients, but there are other ALACE doulas around here who assure me that it's not an issue.

My bigger issue is that I have a full-time job with benefits and I am not sure how to deal with transitioning to doula work - or doing doula work part time on top of my "real job" and parenting my toddler. I am getting connected in my birth community. I may also begin to work with a midwife part time around February. Not as a doula, but I am not ready to talk about that work yet really - perhaps I am being superstitious but I'll update if this ends up panning out.

I have to say, Mamato3cherubs, I understand what you are saying about the responisibilites of a midwife to the life of the child versus the responsibilities of a doula to the mom (although I think you'd agree that's an over-simplification). Even though I know in my heart that I have the desire to be a midwife and take on that responsibility, I also have fears about the magnitude of the work. Doula's have much less control over birth outcomes - whether at home or in a hospital - and it's great to hear someone else acknowledge that this is important.

Is there anyone else here that's a major breadwinner in the family? How did you switch careers while still making money/benefits?

I already know one of my Christmas presents is the Midwifery Today beginning midwife package so I am very excited to get to open it up and start reading!

[mamato3cherubs]

Originally Posted by A&L+1

Hello!



I have to say, Mamato3cherubs, I understand what you are saying about the responisibilites of a midwife to the life of the child versus the responsibilities of a doula to the mom (although I think you'd agree that's an over-simplification). Even though I know in my heart that I have the desire to be a midwife and take on that responsibility, I also have fears about the magnitude of the work. Doula's have much less control over birth outcomes - whether at home or in a hospital - and it's great to hear someone else acknowledge that this is important.

you hit the nail on the head here, it was exactly what I was getting at and I totally agree with you abot the over-simplification thing. I just have a hard time getting thing out in words so I was hoping I could get the point out without sounding cold about it.

I also have a good job, but I am not the major breadwinner. I want to keep my job too, and Doula part time. I have 3 kids, but DH is a very good father and I feel it wouldn't be a problem. I am very lucky to have others who can help me out as well until my kids are older. I know it will go by so fast anyways.

I need to figure out some way of getting involved in my area, I have such a hard time knowing where to start, and making that first step. It feels overwhelming and i havnt even tried, LOL. I know that it is going to be a challenge as we dont have a midwife community at all. And it is a small town with some issues in the birthing department.

[jlpetitte]

I completely understand what both of you are saying. There are times when I fear the responsibility, especially when I'm at a birth and things seem like they could go south. But, I feel like thats a normal fear that any person has when someones life is in their hands- from Doctor, to nurse, to midwife, to firefighter, whatever. I think if you go through good training and get lots of experience with births that do go south (like some hospital experience where you have more high risk births and just more quantity in general) you feel more comfortable making those tough decisions. You do the best of your ability. The fact is that its often out of everyones hands. Even as midwives, OBs, etc. you are really not in control- thats just dilusioned thinking.

Its good for me to talk it out sometimes .

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by mamato3cherubs

On another note, I have been searching, as money is tight, for used books that I need to get started on my reading and I have already set up a trade for the first one!

I got most of mine from e-bay, the trading post here, and a few are at the library. Sometimes in the swap section of the TP they have book swaps, you may luck out at one of those.

[channelofpeace]

Originally Posted by jlpetitte

The fact is that its often out of everyones hands. Even as midwives, OBs, etc. you are really not in control- thats just dilusioned thinking.

I think that this is an important point. You can do what you are trained to do with a healthy respect to the fact that you are dealing with nature...

[homebirthing]

I think that I will do a spinoff thread where we can talk about what midwifery or doula stuff/books we have!!


Here it is...:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...14#post4326414