How to Wean?

[Raihana]

I am still nursing my 27 month old dd as well as my 8 month old son. Dd easts solids well, Ds is starting solids. The thing is it has reached a point with Dd where ther are times that I can not stand for her to latch on. I don't want to hurt her feelings & I especially don't want her to feel jealous of her baby brother, but I really wish she would wean. I am also struggling with guilt for feeling this way. We have had a wonderful nursing relationship up until recently. She has always been really dependent on her nursies, even when my milk dried up while I was carrying Ds. The thing is sometimes when she nurses it just irritates... it's almost like it causes an itching down in my breast. I don't even know what's causing it. I also feel guilty because I feel like I'm trying to take away one of her best sources of comfort. I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing her away. We are doing other things together more now as she gets bigger (she helped make a cake & do dishes tonight ) I try to limit her nursing to naps & bed time. We bought her a "big girl bed" that is right next to our bed to cut back on night time nursing. I also try to distract her when she wants to nurse but at the same time Ds still has to nurse & I just can't tell her no. Any ideas? Should I not try to force the weaning issue? Please help!

[Britishmum]

No real advice here, but I understand! Dd is 28 monthe and dd#2 is 5 months and I too can't bear nursing a toddler now. Luckily I manage to hide how I feel......

Maybe others will be more helpful, I can only sympathise.:

[Kate]

Have you read these two books:

Mothering your Nursing Toddler

How Weaning Happens

My ds is 16 months and still happily nursing, but I pick up MYNT and browse in it OFTEN when I need advice, reassurance, etc.

And How Weaning Happens which I don't own but have read is a bit more pro-active on strategies to encourage weaning. Still, it's also reassuring that nursing a toddler is normal!

I highly recommend both of these!

[merpk]

Total empathy.

This is my 2nd go-round at tandem nursing, and the toddler is tough. Don't know if it's the feel of their teeth or just the stronger sucking or what, but really gritting my teeth during it, usually.

I found the LLL books not too helpful, honestly. MYNT is wonderful until you feel this way. The few pages about this sensation of nursing "annoyance" did not make me feel better about it or help me with weaning issues. Though it's been a few years since I read it, so take my comments with a huge mound of salt.

The only thing I can suggest is what worked for me: meditation or personal distraction while nursing the bigger one.

Right now I'm working on the 3yo to get her to decide to wean : .

Good luck ...

- Amy

[Raihana]

I just feel so guilty that I'm even thinking about weaning her. I also feel guilty that I almost detest her crawling into my lap to nurse. I've been doing alot of teeth clenching...

If she would decide to wean then that would be great! I guess that's what I'm really wondering. Are there any tips I'm not thinking of that may encourage her to wean?

[Michel]

I am a veteran of tandem nursing that grit my teeth until my son was 4 1/4, not wanting to cause jealousy. I think that there must be a better way than gritting teeth. I try to remind myself that we are nursing couples, because there are two of us. Weaning should also be a joint venture - often with one of us leading.

I am now working on weaning my daughter, now 4 1/2 and even more attatched than my son. She nurses going to sleep, waking up, and at nap times. Some days I discourage naps just because my breasts are too sore. She empties them in a minute and then massages and twiddles to get more milk.

We slowly skipped night nursing by her sleeping sounder as she got older, and by my turning my back on her when she stirred - only nursing after complete wake ups. Now we are weaning mornings and I tell her my breasts are just too sore. It seems she needs to hold them to sleep - not thrilling but better than nursing.

I am thinking of drinking teas (sage?) to dry up or change the flavor...but then I decide to wait. If I am patient and clear on my needs and rights, things will change. But has anyone used teas for weaning?

Also, before ending weaning my son insisted that he "needed to get used to it". We settled on nursing every other night (he was already nursing for only "2 minutes"). Some nights every-other-night lasted for 2 or 3 nights, and finally a flu stretched it to 5 nights and the end (my choice).

I always thought my kids would wean themselves at 2. Ha!!

Julia (wife of Michel)

[spryte]

Just thought I would say that I too have that weird itchy feeling on occasion when nursing my eldest. Not sure what it is but maybe knowing another mama knows that feeling and has a hard time with it will help?

not sure where I read it or learned it but we started counting while dd nurse. It was a tremendous help when we nursed through pregnancy. It gave me a set end time and also let dd nurse even when I would have rather not. Kind of giving us both what we needed. Some times we only counted somewhat slowly to 3.

Warm thoughts