You sound like you need a break.
I've been a SAHM for 5 1/2 years now. It has had ups and downs. My dd was really, really hard to be around when she was 2 & 3 years old. She also did not want to leave my side and wasn't terribly rational because they aren't at that age. I remember someone telling me that was a fun age when they found out how old dd was and I just wanted to strangle them for saying that because it was a nightmare to me. Dd needed a lot of patience from me as we worked through it. It got better over time. I think it helped me to find out what was normal for her age and change my expectations. I also tried to put myself in her shoes. She was adjusting to a lot of things right then and didn't have the tools yet to express herself any other way. She was also responding to my stress and anger.
I enjoy being with dd much more now. I think it is normal to prefer some ages over others.
Some helpful advice about tantrums and handling anger-http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063300.asphttp://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061800.asp
You and your family are still adjusting to a baby and that probably contributes to all this.
Would your dh's schedule permit you to work when he is off so your kids are not in daycare or with a sitter every day? I know families who have arranged their work schedules that way so they do not use outside child care most days but both parents work. It can be done.
Maybe start by finding some time for you each day.
Maybe looking for positive things would help too- sometimes it is easier to focus on the negative and overlook the good.
You could write down 1 good moment with your kids each day in a journal. Maybe plan 1 fun activity to try to do each day together.
Some ideas from http://www.onceuponalife.com/forums/...ead.php?t=5444
Sing a song
Collect rocks in a basket
Make an obstacle course out of cushions and/or furniture
Make a fort out of cushions and sheets
Go for a Walk
Make a Car out of a box
Read a book
Go to the park
Play with Clay-Dough
Toss Bean bags into a Bucket
Play the shell and pea game
Dance to music
Download games for toddlers from the Internet
Practice putting things in and taking things out of boxes and bags
Make a temporary slide out of a table leaf and your couch
Roll a ball back and forth on the floor
Scoop dirt or sand into a child's bucket (or use a serving spoon and bowl)
Practice climbing by stacking boxes on top of each other (only with adult supervision)
Put on a puppet show
Go fishing with a yard stick and yarn
Make a Horseshoe game
Make a Shape Puzzle
Play paper basketball
Run through a Sprinkler
Play with a bucket of water and a sponge (PLEASE WATCH CHILD AT ALL TIMES!)
Make a Drum out of an oatmeal box
Play with a kazoo
Wash windows together
Bang on Pots and Pans with a spoon
Brush each other's teeth
Play dress-up with stuffed animals and your child's clothes
Stack canned or boxed food on top of each other
Let child stack mixing bowls inside each other
Make a playhouse out of a large box
Let child play with a sticker sheet (make sure your child doesn't eat them!)
Put stickers on fingers for finger puppets
Play a musical instrument together- i.e.recorder, piano, etc.
Go on a Smelling Hunt
Plant a flower or vegetable plant together
Roll a tennis ball into an empty trash can or bucket
Draw on a mirror with dry-erase markers
Play hide and seek together- trying to find a stuffed animal or other object
Have a splash party together in the bathtub
Put a leash on a stuffed animal and walk around the house
Record each other on a tape recorder (great for scrapbooks or journals!)
Make and try on paper hats
Give a piggie back ride
Talk into an electric fan (it distorts your voice)
Play tug-of-war with a blanket
Collect flowers (felt, artificial, real...)
Make a camera and go on a Safari
Play games with frozen juice lids
Disconnect your phone and pretend to make phone calls to relatives
Leave your phone connected and really make phone calls to relatives- let your child talk too
String large beads onto or along a shoelace
Squirt each other with squirt bottles
Glue shapes onto paper
Make sock puppets
Make paper puppets
Fill an old purse with toys
Use a paper towel tube as a megaphone
Make binoculars and go "Bird Watching" or "Stuffed Animal Watching"
Put snacks in different fun containers (paper sacks, empty canisters, etc.)
Act out a story from a book
Walk on a balance beam- use a 2x4 placed on the ground
Draw with chalk on the sidewalk
Sketch an outline of your child on the sidewalk or paper with chalk
Paint child's palms with tempura paint and blot on paper. Makes a great card for loved ones!
Put lipstick on child and kiss a mirror
Make a puddle on cement and splash barefoot in it
Let child decorate and eat an open peanut butter sandwich
Make a toilet paper barricade for child to go under, over, or through
Do the Hokey Pokey
Make a super-hero costume out of household items
Do Knee-Bouncing Rhymes
Play "Red Light, Green Light" saying "Go" and "Stop"
Make a shoebox train for stuffed animals
Make a pillow pile to jump on (keep it clear from any hard surfaces, including walls!)
Make an easy puzzle with felt and velcro
Make bracelets or collars for stuffed animals out of pipe cleaners and jingle bells
Learn numbers from a deck of cards
Play the matching game with a deck of cards
Make a domino chain
Have a picnic in the park, backyard, or living room!
Play dress up in Mommy or Daddy's clothes
Make a tin cup telephone and talk to each other in it
Make a nature collage
Mirror each other
Make a "Mummy Mommy" with toilet paper
Make a tape recording of short music selections and instructions to move in different ways
Make and walk along a toilet paper trail
TAKE A NAP!!