We had a hard time deciding about adopting for our third child, but I would probably go for a fourth even! The biggest decider for me was a quote I read: "You'll never regret having another child, but you might regret *not* having one for the rest of your life." That did it for me! When in doubt, love never divides, it only multiplies.
I have heard the "when you're done, you just know it" theory. I think that was true in my case. I didn't feel done after having two kids. I didn't feel "not done" either. I was neutral I guess. No huge longing but not any firm "finished" feelings either. Then dh and dd1 talked me into the third. I was open to it, just not as soon as they were. I'd planned to wait another year or two.
I would be surprised to find anyone who'd admit to regretting having their third (or fourth or whatever) child. But the stress that having another child brings can lead to stuff that is regretable. Sometimes life just kind of sneaks up on you - and a way of life that you wanted and that worked for many years can suddenly be.... too much. Or not enough. It is hard to explain.
But three kids is enough for me. I ADORE being pregnant and giving birth and the tiny baby stage. But those babies grow up - and write on walls and whine and fight with their siblings and hide in department stores and all the rest. I know it is just for a few years. But a few years for each kid adds up to a decade or more for a mom. I went back to work three weeks ago - something I thought I'd NEVER do before my youngest was in 1st grade. Dd3 is barely three. But I just can't take the SAHM thing anymore. It was the greatest for a long time. Then it was too much. I am LOVING work! Honestly, I think it is saving my life.
Long way of saying that there are pros and cons. Sometimes we just cannot know what changes will occur in our lives. I have SO learned to never say never!!!! If BOTH of you really feel you NEED another child in your family then I vote yes. Pregnancy is always exciting - there is always that draw. But I'd try to weigh the day to day stresses of having another child when making your decision.
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