No home for my homebirth *update*

[lactationlady]

What do you do when you don't have a home to homebirth in? Much of our home was destroyed by fire Friday night. The master bedroom and bath and part of the livingroom were burned and most of the rest of the house has smoke and heat damage. We met with the insurance adjuster and a restoration contractor today and were told it will be 3-5 months before it is liveable again. Our little one is due in less than 4 months. We are staying with friends for now but I hope to find a more permanent place to stay until our house is back to normal. I hope we can find someplace that we can make feel like home. I don't want to be stressed and uncomfortable during the birth, but I certainly don't want to go to the hospital. Guess I could use the birthing center, but that is still a foreign place.

I don't really think I am looking for advice here, just needed to share my sadness with people who would understand. Everyone else is worried about all of the stuff in the house that was lost. I'm just worried about where I will give birth.

**see update in responses below**

[saintmom]

My prayers are with you and your family.So sorry.I'm afraid I don't really have any advice.just hope it all works out.

[Attila the Honey]

I am so sorry. What a terrible thing to be going through.

I understand it not being home, but maybe your temporary living arrangements will be comfortable enough. If not, you could always talk to your midwife and get some ideas from her. My doula was an apprentice midwife, and she frequently 'hosted' homebirths for folks that didn't feel comfortable enough to birth at their own homes, for whatever reason.

I believe there is a solution for you. It may not be your first choice, but it could work out well. Good luck.

[3daughters]

Originally Posted by lactationlady

I hope to find a more permanent place to stay until our house is back to normal. I hope we can find someplace that we can make feel like home.

Hold on to that thought! You still have time to get a temporary place that will serve as your home until your house is renovated.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through

[Guest*]

[Mavournin]

Oh mama - I understand this oh so well.

We had an apartment fire in Dec. 2002. We wound up living in temporary place after temporary place while looking to buy a house, and I got pregnant. We found a home, but it needed extensive work before we could move in. (Gotta love those 100 year old houses...) So I wound up living in an extended stay hotel as I got bigger and bigger - the whole time planning a homebirth for our new house. We wound up moving in two weeks before my due date, and Ds was a week late after that. It was worth it to stay true to my dream of a homebirth and work towards having it.

That's not to say that I didn't have doubts along the way, but my midwife was incredibly supportive and I somehow found a lot of courage.

My advice is to talk to your midwife. Plan still on being in the house, but make solid backup plans - a friend's house, a rented apartment, or even the birthing center. Then really really lay it on thick with the insurance co and any contractors who do the work on your home. I remember telling my GC that he'd better hurry up and finish my house because I was planning a HB and that if I couldn't have it in my house I was coming to his because he was the one holding me up.

Don't think though that this will be resolved quickly and without a lot of work on your part. It took me the better part of 7 mos. to get my insurance settlement from the fire - and they fought me tooth and nail for every penny. What was the cause of the fire? That can also determine insurance outcomes.

I'm so sorry. I hope you and your family are alright. Stay strong and PM me if you have questions or need an ear.

[rmzbm]

I am SO sorry you have to go through this...

[sapphire_chan]

I've seen discussions of going to a motel to be in easy transport range of the hospital when very rural mamas had concerns.

There is definitely a solution out there.

about your house fire. That would be scary and frustrating at any time, but it must be especially hard while you're trying to plan a homebirth.

[Spring Sun]

There is already so much to worry about being pregnant and now this! I am so sorry. I would def. talk to your midwife. I am sure mine would have found a perfect solution for me. I also would have felt comfortable doing it at a friend's house. Could that work at all?
And,I have heard so many wonderful things about birthing centers and you are lucky to have one near you. The one thing I learn over and over again is that it is not all these details that make our birth wonderful-like location, midwife, progress, etc-but how we are able to deal with the parts that do not live up to our expectations.

I thought I was going to have a really peaceful gentle birth with ds and it was very intense and I did not do the massage, aromatherapy, meditation that I had planned. But I was able to go with it and it went very smoothly, kwim?

Oh, but I hope it all works out well-I am sure it will. Blessings,
Stacey

[wendy1221]

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry about your house! It sounds like you wouldn't be comfortable birthing where you're staying or your friends wouldn't be comfortable. I agree that you should talk to your midwife. I have heard of people renting a "honeymoon suite" at a hotel/motel for their birth so they have a nice big tub to labor in. Does that sound nice to you? I personally feel like the biggest plus for me was not having to go anywhere, but lots of women don't mind that.

Hopefully your house will be ready in plenty of time and this will be a non-issue. (((HUGS)))

[mwherbs]

what a shock, no one was hurt I hope.
as for where to birth, does your insurance not pay for a temporary place to live? several people I know who have had damage to their house- water, mold or wind- have had apartments paid for by the insurance.

would you feel comfortable at your friends house giving birth? how do they feel about it?
and there is the possibility of renting a motel room (don't tell them you are planning on giving birth in one) but take the coverlet off and don't use it bring a few blankets for yourself and of course all your birthing supplies.

or how about a cabin rental?

[lactationlady]

Thank you all so much for your words of comfort, support, encourgement and advice. I am getting over the shock of the fire now and seeing things a little clearer. We finally moved into a rental house last week, just two days before Christmas (fulfilling my ds's Christmas wish to have a house and Christmas tree before Christmas!). We have been extremely blessed by our church, family and friends who have supported us by meeting both physical and emotional needs.

The house we are renting has a nice big master bedroom that will allow for room to set up the birthing pool (once I order a replacement, that is). It was kind of funny watching the insurance adjuster doing the inventory of our bathroom trying to figure out why we had an inflatable fishy pool in the bathroom. I also didn't bother explaining that the "cloth wipes" she was counting were actually post-partum cloth menstrual pads.

Now that things are finally settling down, I am looking forward to relaxing a little and going ahead with our plans for homebirth. I am panicking a little as I realize I am about to enter my third trimester and the birth is drawing closer but I am sure that will subside as I begin to formulate a birth plan and can feel more prepared. It is very comforting to read the posts here from so many of you who have birthed at home before and see that it will all work out just fine, regardless of circumstances. The baby will come when it is time and my body will do what it is made to do and we will have a beautiful baby girl.

Thanks again!

Mellanie

[momto l&a]

I know women who have given birth in motel rooms, vans, bus conversions all on purpose.

on the loss of your home.

[~Megan~]

Will the insurance pay for you to stay in an apartment? Some places will rent month to month, especially given your circumstance.