**Weekly chat Dec 4 - 11** - Page 2

[secretresistance]

Happy Wednesday, all!

Things are going quite well in my neck of the woods. I can look out my kitchen window from here and watch the snow falling. All in all, I'm feeling nice and warm and cozy.

My symptoms so far have been mainly along the lines of sore breasts, intense hunger and sleepiness. The tender boobs thing kicked in double time last night, and I'm fine with the sports bra I'm now wearing to become a semi-permanent fixture. It really helps!

No nausea to speak of yet, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it stays that way! Last week was full of cramping that had me running to the bathroom every ten minutes, scared to death I was bleeding, but that has slowed down, and I only feel anything if I move too drastically.

Is it too early to be having those vivid pregnancy dreams one always hears about? Maybe it's just that I'm finally getting the proper amount of sleep, [and then some!] but I haven't remembered my dreams this well since I was a teenager. Pretty neat stuff.

It's enlightening to read about who you all have let in on your news. For now, it's just me, DP and a couple of close friends who are in the know. My parents and I aren't exactly close, so the lack of desire to tell them about it is tinged with other...issues. DP's family lives half the country away, so I think we're going to wait until we see them in person, most likely over the upcoming holidays.

[Robynee]

Well, we found out a couple of days before Thanksgiving and just about everyone knew we were trying anyways so I blabbed to both our families on the holiday. My son is ecstatic, he has been asking for a silbing for years now. The only person that I didn't tell is my mother, and I never will. Talk about issues! We do not speak at all. She was very abusive growing up and remained so until I cut all ties. :

[secretresistance]

Originally Posted by Robynee

The only person that I didn't tell is my mother, and I never will. Talk about issues! We do not speak at all. She was very abusive growing up and remained so until I cut all ties. :

The absent mother thing has been a source of low-level stress for me ever since I realized how much I want to be a parent. I find myself scared of her lack of presence moreso now that I'm going to have my own child. It's unsettling, to say the least, because for the last couple of years I have felt pretty satisfied/resigned to the state of our relationship. Now, I find myself wanting something we never did have, and probably never could have.

Ugh, not the cheery stuff we should be thinking about, but your post touched on some things I had been subconsciously removing from my active thoughts. Wait, that makes no sense...oh dear! Well, maybe you know what I mean anyway.

[Ursula Rose]

i don't talk to my mother either, but i need to tell her because the world is small. she'll find out from someone else and that would be a triple nightmare hurricaine. i'm thinking i'll send her a bouquet of flowers with that card that says congrats. you're going to be a grandma in august. i'll have to do the same thing with my sister because she doesn't like our relationship so much either. i figure that it's a positive and respectful way to share the news.

[Robynee]

I'm really lucky that I have an "adoptive" family that I am really close to. My mother married her third husband when I was 12 and I am very close to his sister and mother. In fact my "aunt"(who refers to me as her daughter) will be at the birth. She gets to be at two in a row because her daughter is also pregnant and due a month ahead of me. My "cousin" and I are great friends and she has a step-son who is close buds with ds. I think it is so neat that we are pregnant together.

I started counseling when I had ds because I was so afraid that I was going to be like my mother. It really helped to have someone tell me that I was trying to make sense of a situation that just didn't make sense. It is so hard to be a parent and have no clue as to what to do. I started out only knowing what I didn't want to do.

secretresistance- I do know what you mean.

Well, here's to freedom from the emotional baggage that our parents dumped on us, and the ability to break the cycle.

[jenmk]

I have been dreaming like crazy!! Really vivid, somewhat strange dreams.

I told my mom today because she asked. Although, since DH doesn't really want us to tell anyone yet, when she asked if I was pg, I replied, "I'm really not a liberty to say." (Previously, when she's asked and I haven't been pg, I've said, "Nope.") She was thrilled, and is anxiously awaiting when we decide to tell everyone. She can't wait to find out!! My mom's great. She's one of my best friends. That's one of the reasons I'd like to have a girl (I have two boys). I'd love to have a chance at having this kind of relationship with my own daughter. (I'd also just like the experience of a girl, since I already know boys.) Men don't tend to be as close with their parents when they grow up (in my observance and experience), but women sometimes are. Although I am hoping to have a strong, healthy, connected relationship with my boys as they grow too.

Having this online group sure does make keeping this a secret easier, though. Doesn't actually feel like I'm keeping it a secret since I'm sharing it with all of you. My thing is that I'm not telling people outright, but if they ask, I'm not going to lie to them. I was hoping maybe we'd spring the news in our holiday cards, but I don't know if DH will want to do it that soon. But what a great way to get the word out . . . and to everyone we know!

[LisaMcB]

Hi, All! I haven't told my parents or my MIL, yet. My parents and I have the worst relationship possible. I am actually going through Neuro-Emotional Technique to deal with all of it. I am not telling them or my brothers until they see me & I can't avoid it.

My niece told me that my MIL had a dream of "fish" which means that someone is pregnant. She's wondering who, but my niece didn't tell her. So, we expect her to call within the next couple of weeks to ask us if we are pregnant.

I did tell my birth mom and she was supportive of the whole thing. We have a pretty good relationship.

I'm feeling good, but nauseus at night more than in the morning. Still nursing my 28 month old so no breast tenderness at all.

Sticky vibes to everyone!

Blessings~
Lisa

[KarmaChameleon]

So sorry to all of you who have crappy realtionships with your moms s:


I bought a couple pairs of pants last night at Tar-Jay in bigger sizes so I can have baggy clothes to wear. I couldn't resist -- $6 each. I need some loose stuff for when the waistline starts to expand. With my last pregnancy, I could wear my regular linen pants til the end, they just fell below the belly (for whatever reason I never got as big as I did with my first) -- and of course i had to trash them after she was born.


I am thankful for this forum, too. It helps me to keep my big mouth shut IRL.

[Glittergal]

well, I'm getting totally paranoid at my utter lack of symptoms. Although last night, I did fall asleep at 630 with DD and stayed in bed until today. I probably have to chalk that up to working m,t,w, which I typically never do. I still think it's odd my breasts aren't sore. DD is nursing NON-STOP. All the moms I knew who nursed in the first trimester have always been in agony. Could the nursing help decrease sensitivity, in some moms? Who knows. My clothes are all fitting but I've noticed I'm craving salt. I'm trying to fulfill that with cheeze-its, rather than the doritos of my previous pregnancy. LOL.
I do feel bloated though and most my work pants are form fitting, so I'm not really too keen on wearing them. I hate this time, too small for maternity clothes and don't really want to spend money on regular clothes.

[Ary99]

What an interesting crew we have here. I too have mother issues, lol. She's lucky my sister and I talk to her after what she's put us through. She was also an abusive parent, but I've had years of therapy and I mostly just pity her now.

My symptoms seem to come an go which drives me nuts. I've thought about having another beta, but I could get great results then be convinced the next morning it had all fallen apart. So, I wait.

[Ursula Rose]

I woke up at 5am this morning convinced I was going to get my period. Why? Total utter disbelief.

Now I'm not one who is into affirmations, BUT there is one in Peggy O'Mara's book that seems to resonate with me every once in a while -- My baby is developing as he or she should.

Ho hum.