"You won't be getting any medals for natural childbirth" - Page 3

[grace's voice]

Originally Posted by SheBear

LOL, carla72 and flyingspaghettimama! Someone fed me the "you won't get a medal" line recently, and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I had to respond, "Yeah, because parenthood is all about the medals and awards and accolades from outsiders! Whatever was I thinking!?" I think I offended her... Oh well!

Forget watching birth shows, I can't even hardly hear about "mainstream" births without that vein in my forehead starting to pound....

Like when my sister's best friend's baby was born with a twice-wrapped nuchal cord "so the doctor HAD to immediately cut it! And then the baby wasn't breathing real well, so they had to give her some oxygen, and it was scary for a few minutes! And even after that, they just couldn't seem to get her to warm up enough. They were just about to take her to NICU when the nurses (who were sooo great!) thought they'd try putting her skin-to-skin on her mom's chest. And it was so amazing--it worked!"

OMG. Now, i get it that nuchal cords can be a problem sometimes. But usually they are not--they can simply be slipped around the head, no big deal. So, I dunno what was the situation with this baby--maybe they really did have to cut it immediately. I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. But why the surprise that she's having trouble breathing, when they cut her source of oxygen?? And why the surprise that she's not warming up if she's not getting adequate oxygen?? And why the HECK would skin-to-skin with mom be the last resort????!!

Arrrrgh......okay.....vein pounding....think happy thoughts, SheBear....

Just had to add too that 1/3 to 1/2 of that baby's blood was in the placenta when they cut the cord... kinda hard to warm up when your suddelny missing half your blood supply too! These babies are often awful hard to keep awake for a few days, wonder why?

[chiro_kristin]

Actually, I did get a medal. My dh made me one bc he was so proud of me (I had a 58-hr labor).

[2+twins]

Originally Posted by chiro_kristin

Actually, I did get a medal. My dh made me one bc he was so proud of me (I had a 58-hr labor).

Why doesn't my dh do things like this? He actually told me (following my first birth) that if he didn't know better he'd think it didn't hurt (I was a very quiet laborer). That always annoyed me! I mentioned to him how some of the dh's here have made medals or certificates and he just rolled his eyes. Sometimes I wanna smack him!

[hairpin]

Originally Posted by love_homebirthing

Why doesn't my dh do things like this? He actually told me (following my first birth) that if he didn't know better he'd think it didn't hurt (I was a very quiet laborer). That always annoyed me! I mentioned to him how some of the dh's here have made medals or certificates and he just rolled his eyes. Sometimes I wanna smack him!

I'd want to as well! I wonder if he'd say the same thing if he had to go through labor...!

[spiralmg]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

I just gave birth less than 48 hours ago and what I feel is 10,000 times better than any award, medal or certificate. I feel fantastic and amazing and totally in awe of myself, my strength, my body and knowing that women all around the world do this every day makes me feel like I belong to this amazing thing.
So yeah, you don't get a medal. You get WAY more than that.

WhooHoo!!! Me too! Even after one night's good sleep, memories that are already becoming less distinct, and a rapidly shrinking belly, I am just swollen with pride of being WOMAN. I feel so good. Okay, a little sore and tired, but I used to get sore and tired playing sports - and don't get any medals there either, come to think of it...Its so sad that so many women are disempowered through disassociation. They aren't given the gift of knowing what their own body can really accomplish.

[spiralmg]

Originally Posted by grace's voice

Planning, education, and motivation make all the difference. But I really think the #1 thing that determines how labor and birth go is a positive attitude!

This is so true. My first birth was all natural as planned, but it was a bit too intense and scary because I didn't have all of my own thoughts together about how to approach it - despite some good prep classes and good motivation to be drug-free etc.. My birth two days ago was so different because I was so conscious about what my body and baby and I were all doing together, and actively had my own plan to work with it all.

[trmpetplaya]

nak

ITA, attitude IS everything! i never once thought of childbirth as painful when it was happening... it seemed more like a sensation of strength. the contractions were so intense and strong. i just kept saying "it's so strong!" over and over till my dh told me that it was ME that was strong and my midwife said that was right on and that it was my body that was being so strong and making the strong sensations. thinking of it like that was positive as opposed to thinking how much it hurt, etc.

love and peace.

[Mrs Dimples]

When I was pregnant with my first son, I actually thought and said this very thing. NO ONE TOLD ME, and I DID NOT READ in any of my many books, or see on television, that there were any risks involved with any sort of pain medication. I think a lot of women actually think that there are NO potential drawbacks or risks associated with pharmaceutical pain relief. And they don't think there are any non-medical pain relief methods. They think women who have natural childbirth do not get any benefit from it, and that we just lay tied to a bed like they do, suffering and screaming and completely helpless.

I find it to be exactly the opposite. My first birth, I was helpless. I could not do anything for myself - walk, pee, lift my legs to put in the stirrups so I could be yelled at and told how to push, only to have my son extracted with a vaccuum because I was unable to push him out on my own because I was so numb, weak, hungry, and tired. I was also unaware that there were any risks to the vaccuum. I asked my OB when she suggested it, and she said that it would cut 30 minutes off my pushing time. That's it. No mention of the potential risks.

My son was never able to nurse due to the drugs in his system, the trauma of his birth, and all the circumstances surrounding us when he was born. I spent the first 12 months of his life hooked up to a hospital-grade pump and rocking him in a bouncy chair with my foot. This time, I know better and things will be different.

I have no problem with women CHOOSING pharmeceutical pain relief, but it has to be a choice. When they say things like "you don't get a medal for natural childbirth", it says to me that they do not have all the information and have not made an informed choice, and that is insulting and dangerous. It makes me so incredibly angry. Women are being lied to and decieved, and they and their babies are paying the price. And they don't even know it's happening.

[tracylhl]

Maybe no one gave me an award, but I am very proud of myself!!! And I did what was best for me and my kids. And as a matter of fact, my dh still brags about me and my births too!!!! I saw that BS too. I don't usually watch, but I saw it. Makes me wonder what else those moms do for the sole satisfaction of those who are watching them!!!

[sparkprincess]

Originally Posted by New Mama

The medal is giving birth to a baby with no drugs in his body, nothing to interfere with the nursing process, and nothing to hinder bonding with his mommy.

It's interesting that women who have a successful natural childbirth talk about how wonderful the experience was (me included), yet you never really hear women who give birth in a hospital with interventions go on and on about their amazing experience.

[nepenthesea]

Wow! Those of you that got medals and certificates from your husbands...that is way cool!

I think just being able to have a natural childbirth will be reward enough for me. I will be VERY proud of myself. And I know my mom will be proud. She had all three of us naturally and always says "It's not something you can't handle". I will be the only sister to give birth naturally, so I know my mom will be happy about it.

You all have given me some good comeback lines, should anybody say it to me personally

[AppleCrisp]

Originally Posted by love_homebirthing

Why doesn't my dh do things like this? He actually told me (following my first birth) that if he didn't know better he'd think it didn't hurt (I was a very quiet laborer). That always annoyed me! I mentioned to him how some of the dh's here have made medals or certificates and he just rolled his eyes. Sometimes I wanna smack him!

This is a bit OT, but my husband actually had the nerve to say to me (after a discussion in which i told him he really, really better get off his butt and start learning how to be a labor partner for a natural birth), "I've had embryology. I know what happens" Now THAT's smackable!!

[AppleCrisp]

Wow, someone said this to me too! I think I was only about ten weeks and hadn't told anybody...went out to dinner with a girl who was recounting her birth story, and how she was sure she wasn't going to do any of the things like EFM or extraction or pain meds. Then she laughed and said "When it comes time you'll just do anything they tell you" and the "you don't get a medal" speech. By the end of the evening my rosy plans for natural childbirth were so totally trashed!!

I left the mainstream board when this woman vented in a huge post about no one expects women in this day and age to suffer through toothaches, gall stones, or other painful afflictions without meds, so she's not putting up with "these people" who expect women to suffer through birth. I don't even think I need to explain why the comparison is so utterly ridiculous!

And, as already posted - it seems to me (naive as I may be) - doing it naturally means that you feel good later; all the other forms of pain meds seem to have nasty or lasting side effects, and I'd rather just get through it and be done, than have annoying side effects lingering hours or days afterwards. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

[Lousli]

[QUOTE=New Mama
It's interesting that women who have a successful natural childbirth talk about how wonderful the experience was (me included), yet you never really hear women who give birth in a hospital with interventions go on and on about their amazing experience.[/QUOTE]

Well, you will hear women go on about it other places, but not here. I don't talk here about my births with epidurals, for the most part, especially not to say that they were wonderful experiences, because I think I would get flamed or "educated" about the risks of epidurals and the joys of natural birth. I put educated in quotes because I do consider myself very well-informed about the risks of epidurals, and I understand the controversy. It was not a decision I made lightly.

[quelindo]

Originally Posted by Lousli

Well, you will hear women go on about it other places, but not here. I don't talk here about my births with epidurals, for the most part, especially not to say that they were wonderful experiences, because I think I would get flamed or "educated" about the risks of epidurals and the joys of natural birth. I put educated in quotes because I do consider myself very well-informed about the risks of epidurals, and I understand the controversy. It was not a decision I made lightly.

Maybe it's just the women I know...they all act as though childbirth was something they had to "get through" and an ordeal to put behind them.

[mamatoady]

"you don't get any medals for natural childbirth"

ummmmm, yes you do , you get one for protecting your baby, one for protecting yourself, and one for protecting your breastfeeding relationship....and you also get one for researching vaccines and making decisions accordingly, you get one for not circumcising, I think you get 1/2 medal for using cloth diapers, but you get 2 for wearing your baby. I'm pretty sure your baby gets one for asking to nurse at 3 years old in front of the in-laws.

can anyone else think of the others? I'm sure I'm missing a few.

sarah

[PancakeGoddess]

This is such a great thread. I was thinking about all the mamas who seriously strive for a natural birth but things don't work out. They get medals, too.

But no medals for lying about the realities of epidurals, and no medals for going in with the "give me my epidural asap" attitude.

[shanagirl]

This thread made me remember two things (my wonderful natural childbirth was 8 years ago. If any of you remember it was around the time when that American gymnast at the Olympics twisted her ankle and still got a 10 on her next vault and her coach carried her while she cried. I remember my midwife saying, "Why is it when an anorexic 16 year old sprains her ankle vaulting over a piece of leather, the whole country calls it heroic, but when a woman says she wants to have natural childbirth without drugs people think she's crazy?"

I loved that.

The other thing is about two years after that, the New York Times Magazine section did an article on natural childbirth, and how divisive an issue it can be among women and how competitive the birth stories can get in terms of who had it harder. They got a looooot of letters to the editor in response, from both sides of the issue--including moms who had had natural birth but insisted they didn't do it to be 'better' or out of competition. But my favorite letter was from the woman who wrote, "Did I have natural childbirth? Yes. Do I feel superior? Yes. So what?"

[PancakeGoddess]

: Keri Strug isn't and wasn't anorexic. Those stereotypes are such a drag.

But otherwise, I totally agree. I hate when athletes compete and further damage their bodies, and THEN get praise for it. Stoopid.

[2+twins]

Originally Posted by shanagirl

But my favorite letter was from the woman who wrote, "Did I have natural childbirth? Yes. Do I feel superior? Yes. So what?"