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Run-ins with Police Officers

post #1 of 126
Thread Starter 
Any Dads ever have a run-in with cops over your kids?

Are your kids permitted to play outside your condo/apt unharrassed?

Do you get confronted by police officers over anonymous tips that you're negligent as a parent?

My dw and I have recently had some hair raising events with gigantic mutant males in uniform, the most recent yesterday when I was informed we were "under surveillance" becaus eof neighbor complaints that our kids play outdoors. I wasn't aware that playing 10 ft from one's apt door was illegal, it's not in our CC&R's anywhere. Our kids are fairly mellow when they're outside, that's why I let them do it, esp. when I can see them at all times through the window where I work, facing it.

Anyway, how'd you guys handle any encounters? Or is it just me? I attract their ego-mojo or whatever. I'm kinda freaked out.
post #2 of 126
We haven't had any run ins w/uniformed folk. Do you live in a small town w/a bored police crew?

We did get a privacy fence in the back so DS is encamped in the back yard but always with one of us. There are too many speeding cars in the front yard. My DS's too young to play alone outside (3.5 yo). How old is your oldest child?
post #3 of 126
I've observed the police engage in antagonistic behavior towards the common people my whole life. Almost everyone I talk to about the police say the same thing themselves. I have gotten to the point that I believe they are not really interested in 'protecting and serving' we the people. Instead, the people they are protecting and serving are the upper eschelon of society's ruling class. That's my perspective based on my own experiences with them, and my observations of them interacting with other people, and from talking to others about them.
post #4 of 126
DOV, my DW is ultra crunchy and I'm a moderate crunchbar. She has all of these really cool, peace promoting bumper stickers on our car and I noticed that really conservative people get pretty aggressive after reading them. I had one guy shake his head no at me and give me a thumbs down as he aggressively passed us. I thought it was a bit odd and funny at the time, but it really points to a deep and serious rift in our culture.

Anyway, not to get far from your concern, which is very serious. I think people do get harrassed because of how they look or if they have a different thought than the rest of the community.

I would seek out and contact a legal agency. Not hire a lawyer but see if your community has a free legal services outfit and find out what your legal rights are. If not available in your community, perhaps there is a law firm interested in providing pro bono work for you.
Good luck.
post #5 of 126
When I studied sociology in college, it was confirmed that image is indeed very important when dealing with police officers, as well as others. Equally important is acting polite, even if treated rudely.
post #6 of 126
i haven't had any run-ins with the popo, while my children were with me. thank goodness!
post #7 of 126
We had CPS called on us..it was pretty scary, but we had a very nice and understanding social worker.
Perhaps the reason why the police officers are getting calls is from genuine concern about your kids....even if you can see them from your window, that doesn't mean that you will have enough time to react to any given situation should something happen.
post #8 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by desertpenguin
We had CPS called on us..it was pretty scary, but we had a very nice and understanding social worker.
Perhaps the reason why the police officers are getting calls is from genuine concern about your kids....even if you can see them from your window, that doesn't mean that you will have enough time to react to any given situation should something happen.
Right.....So we should just put our kids in big plastic bubbles....

Eventually our kids are going to have to be outside with out us standing over them. I'm not advocating not watching your children while they are out but I think that the cops being called and being told you are "under surveillance" is ridiculous. I'm sorry...if the neighbors trully felt "genuine concern" for the kids, they wouldn't be calling the cops. They might mention somthing to the mama/papa but calling the cops is extreme.

I personally am not sure what the role of a police officer is... I understand the whole "lock bad people up thing"...but other than that.....

CR
post #9 of 126
Twice this summer I went inside for a few minutes (took a bag of groceries in and went in to get the diaper bag) and came out to find cops pulled over in front of our house - one was called, the other was driving by. Both of them told me I shouldn't leave the kids outside alone...and we live near a middle school on a fairly quiet road in a town with fewer than 5,000 people.

I feel paranoid now.
post #10 of 126
Of course our children shouldn't live in bubbles, but it depends on what their ages are and their level of maturity as to whether or not they should be playing outside by themselves. I don't know the ages of the children of the OP...It's sad that we live in such times as to have to be concerned about our children playing outside at all, but that's just a harsh reality of the world that we live in, or at least for most of us.

We live on the same street as an elementary school...there's a registered sex offender who lives right down the street. But we don't live in a small town, or on a quiet street.

FWIW, I believe the instances stated here in this thread are obviously over reactions, but you can't prevent people from over reacting......
post #11 of 126
When I was a child growing up I walked my sister to school. I must have been 6 and she 5. We had no fear of being abducted and the police would smile and say hello. This was in a mid western city.

But I notice a very real shift in parents today, myself most definately included. Parents are terrified of the world harming their/our children. Is it television? Is the world sicker, crazier? Yes, all three.

My mother, who care takes for 3 grandchildren, notes the same feeling I have. She wouldn't let the grandchildren do what we freely did years ago.
She attributes it to an extremely lax legal system. She said kidnappers and sex offenders would not be let out of jail. The sentences were much harsher. The mentally ill were locked up in hospitals their entire lives. So, the community WAS safer.
post #12 of 126
As for registered sex offenders in our area, there are a few, and they are several blocks away. Of course, there is always the possibility that there is someone around who hasn't been caught yet, but I still think the cops were overreacting in my case. (I'm paranoid of them, BTW.)
post #13 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by papapoochie
The mentally ill were locked up in hospitals their entire lives. So, the community WAS safer.
Please do not assume that all mentally ill people are dangerous to others, especially children.
post #14 of 126
Avena- You are completly correct in your statement about how the police are there not to serve and protect us, but the government. In several court cases where people sued the poliece for not responding to 911 calls (with some horrendous consequences, one case 3 women were raped and tortured for over 3 hours after they called 911) the rulings in all the cases stated that the police have no duty to protect us, it's not their job. Scary huh?

I haven't personally experienced any horrendous run ins with the cops (just a few liars making me pay a fine) but I have known people personally and have heard stories from reputable places that make me completely distrust the police.

papapoochie- just a warning, some people may take your statement about the mentally ill as an offensive statement. I'm not personally offended, but I have spent several years working with mentally ill people and most of them are not a threat to society in any way. I assume that you mean mentally ill people who have criminal tendancies.
post #15 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by bailey228
papapoochie- just a warning, some people may take your statement about the mentally ill as an offensive statement. I'm not personally offended, but I have spent several years working with mentally ill people and most of them are not a threat to society in any way. I assume that you mean mentally ill people who have criminal tendancies.
My apologies folks. I do not want to offend anyone. I intended to imply the criminally insane. Those who are sociopathic and tend to be highly recidivistic with their criminal acts against others. I should have clarified this.
post #16 of 126
This is kind of OT, but reading this thread reminded me of a study done on the moral development of police officers according to Kohlberg's stages ...

The study indicated that the majority of police officers never progress beyond Preconventional Moral Development (Stage 1) -- the stage most among children. This stage is associated with the "I do the right thing because I don't want to be punished." thought ...
post #17 of 126
Quote:
gigantic mutant males in uniform
well, isn't that downright offensive : : : :
why are you taking issue with the POs as they have to respond to call - valid or not. I think you should be complaining about the ones that keep turning in in.
the POs are just doing their job... you'd be really pissed if you called on someone & they ignored it
& yeah, the bad guys keep getting bigger & more dangerous so the good guys have to keep in shape!

Quote:
Originally Posted by snowbunny
This is kind of OT, but reading this thread reminded me of a study done on the moral development of police officers according to Kohlberg's stages ...

The study indicated that the majority of police officers never progress beyond Preconventional Moral Development (Stage 1) -- the stage most among children. This stage is associated with the "I do the right thing because I don't want to be punished." thought ...
what STUDY where & by whom ? :
you really do not know Law Enforcement.
How you possibly make a blanket statement?
Your area of expertise is in ????

POs/FF/etc deal with things everyday that the AVG person may not see in a lifetime. How dare anyone say
Quote:
majority of police officers never progress beyond Preconventional Moral Development
- sounds like some Prof has little idea what goes on :
Let them pick a dead child off the road & see how their Moral Dev. foes or how about the child molester that goes free b/c of some legal glitch. YK the guy is gonna do it again but you're powerless -

Yes, that's why we have lwas that need to be obeyed, society does need boundaries. They go by the law or how else can you do this job. Their job is bounded by
Quote:
do the right thing because I don't want to be punished."
Quote:
She attributes it to an extremely lax legal system. She said kidnappers and sex offenders would not be let out of jail. The sentences were much harsher
this is much of the current problem

PO's get called on kids for a number of reasons - some are valid some are not. It's becomign a trend for POs to be parent kids or come in & play mediator or even WORSE - play boogie man. Do you how many people will see DH in uniform & tell their their kids, "You behave or that Officer is gonna arrest you & take you to jail" : WTF?

now that parent is making a kid be resentful, scared, etc of POs DH will speak up & ask them not to do that.

If one has over-zealous neighbors then that's 1 issue but I can give a ton of horror stories my DH has seen in 21 YEARS of PD work & that people should called & looked the other way so.. is over zealous or being too complacent wrong?
if someone in the 'hood has issue with you, you should deal with them either personally or legally.
post #18 of 126
ITA polka123! There are good cops and there are bad cops, but unfortunately it seems like most people zone in on the bad cops and assume all cops are that way. My dad's best friend was a good cop and a good man, unfortunately he died of a heart attack within a month of my dad and I moving down here. We miss him dearly. He risked his life every day to keep gangs from getting roots in my hometown!
post #19 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by polka123
Yes, that's why we have lwas that need to be obeyed, society does need boundaries. They go by the law or how else can you do this job. Their job is bounded by

Quote:
do the right thing because I don't want to be punished."
You're absolutely right! Their job is bounded by that. And 'that' is preconventional moral development ...

I'm sorry if my referencing the study and stages of moral development upset you.

Certainly there are good cops and bad cops and everyone chooses his or her profession for different reasons ...
post #20 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by polka123
well, isn't that downright offensive : : : :
why are you taking issue with the POs as they have to respond to call - valid or not. I think you should be complaining about the ones that keep turning in in.
the POs are just doing their job... you'd be really pissed if you called on someone & they ignored it
& yeah, the bad guys keep getting bigger & more dangerous so the good guys have to keep in shape!



what STUDY where & by whom ? :
you really do not know Law Enforcement.
How you possibly make a blanket statement?
Your area of expertise is in ????

POs/FF/etc deal with things everyday that the AVG person may not see in a lifetime. How dare anyone say - sounds like some Prof has little idea what goes on :
Let them pick a dead child off the road & see how their Moral Dev. foes or how about the child molester that goes free b/c of some legal glitch. YK the guy is gonna do it again but you're powerless -

Yes, that's why we have lwas that need to be obeyed, society does need boundaries. They go by the law or how else can you do this job. Their job is bounded by

this is much of the current problem

PO's get called on kids for a number of reasons - some are valid some are not. It's becomign a trend for POs to be parent kids or come in & play mediator or even WORSE - play boogie man. Do you how many people will see DH in uniform & tell their their kids, "You behave or that Officer is gonna arrest you & take you to jail" : WTF?

now that parent is making a kid be resentful, scared, etc of POs DH will speak up & ask them not to do that.

If one has over-zealous neighbors then that's 1 issue but I can give a ton of horror stories my DH has seen in 21 YEARS of PD work & that people should called & looked the other way so.. is over zealous or being too complacent wrong?
if someone in the 'hood has issue with you, you should deal with them either personally or legally.

Posting my first post to say
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