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Run-ins with Police Officers - Page 3

post #41 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by AladdinsLamp
Wow, I think it is weird that so many think it is okay for children to be out in a front yard WITHOUT a parent out there. Not a single one of my friends - whose kids range in age from 13 yrs down to 6 mo EVER let their kids play in the front yard without a parent RIGHT there. And these are people spread all across my state, not just in my city or neighborhood.

Yeah, it was safe for me to do that as a kid (although dh says it wasn't safe then either, but people didn't realize it) but not now at all. As a preteen and teenage I lived in Europe and my younger brother and I took streetcars, buses, subways all over our city without any fear. But that was 20 years ago too, and US-type-random-crimes-against-strangers has been successfully exported to Europe so my ds won't be going all over London by himself at 12 like I did.

Sorry, I think you all are naive. Yeah, the chances are low that someone will swipe your child from your front stoop, but that won't be much consolation if it were your child who IS stolen. ESPECIALLY since you know how to prevent it. Seriously, watching out the window? Give me a break, they would be gone before you got out your front door.

Allie


My kids are 11, 9, 8, 5. We just in the last year allow our older kids to be outside in our backyard without supervision. They are only allowed out as a group and must stay together. I still check frequently out the window to ensure they are doing fine. If they are in the front yard we are typically out with them. We live in a residential area. My youngest is occassionally allowed out with the older kids, but I usually watch from the window with him and they stay in the backyard. The only exception we have made is too allow our daughter to walk the dogs up and down the sidewalk. That makes me nervous enough, but I am lucky enough to live in an area where few cars that don't live on our street travel and all the neighbors are keening aware of unfamiliar cars showing up.
post #42 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpie545
Anyone who's every watched an episode of COPS should know what I'm talking about.
I really tried to ignore this comment, but after several days I can't.

Do you honestly think this gives an accurate portrayal of what police officers go through on a daily basis? This is a small sample made for a television show.

It really is frightening if you base your opinions of the police from a television show.
post #43 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
I really tried to ignore this comment, but after several days I can't.

Do you honestly think this gives an accurate portrayal of what police officers go through on a daily basis? This is a small sample made for a television show.

It really is frightening if you base your opinions of the police from a television show.
Thank you for that. I'm not sure I would have said it as well. I would only add/emphasize that we might also wish to remember that sensational sells better than the mundane everyday on shows like this.
post #44 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by AladdinsLamp
...it was safe for me to do that as a kid ... that was 20 years ago too ...by himself at 12 like I did...I think you all are naive.
You keep implying that it is more dangerous out there now than it used to be, but it's not. The world is, if anything, slightly less violent than it was then. Of course there's always dangers, but it's not sufficiently dangerous out there to advocate keeping children in little isolation bubbles. That's far more damaging IMHO.
post #45 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by changa
The world is, if anything, slightly less violent than it was then.
http://www.kidsfightingchance.com/statistics.html


http://www.klaaskids.org/pg-mc-mcstatistics.htm

"The number of missing persons reported to law enforcement has increased from 154, 341 in 1982 to 876,213 in 2000. That is an increase of 468%."


http://www.eyesofamerica.org/US_abdu...statistics.htm


http://www.eyesofamerica.org/US_abdu...statistics.htm

And these are just the kidnapping statistics.
post #46 of 126
There was a dramatic increase between 1998 and 2000, admittedly. But according to the USA Today, "sexual assaults against adolescents ages 12 to 17 plunged 79% from 1993 through 2003."
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/...tm?POE=NEWISVA
And according to kidsfightingchance.com, kids have a 1.1% chance of being reported missing, and about 10% of those are kidnappings. That's a 0.11% chance of my kid being grabbed from my yard.
http://www.kidsfightingchance.com/statistics.html

Besides which, strangers account for some 10% of sexual assault, with the other 90% being friends and family. So playing in the house is more of a risk than playing outdoors.
post #47 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by changa
There was a dramatic increase between 1998 and 2000, admittedly. But according to the USA Today, "sexual assaults against adolescents ages 12 to 17 plunged 79% from 1993 through 2003."
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/...tm?POE=NEWISVA
"And only a tiny fraction of abuse cases end in murder, says David Finkelhor, director of Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. Of the 60,000 to 70,000 arrests each year for sex crimes against children, he says about 40 to 50 involve homicide."


I was initially just looking at kidnappings, but the fact that adolescent sexual assaut has decreased 79% is great. There are still a huge number of arrests each year for sex crimes (see above). My kids are not quite in the adolescent age category as of yet.

I think it is playing with fire to risk anything happening to my children as I am the one who is to protect them from danger. I assure you my children are not placed in a "little isolation bubble." The are protected from the dangers of today's society.
post #48 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
I really tried to ignore this comment, but after several days I can't.

Do you honestly think this gives an accurate portrayal of what police officers go through on a daily basis? This is a small sample made for a television show.

It really is frightening if you base your opinions of the police from a television show.
I understand that those shows are edited, but there are edited to make police seem like they are the ultimate power, and there is no questioning it. These shows are edited like that purposely, and then shown to the public, so the public then percevies that they should never question police. It's a psychological thing, putting police very high in the threshold of power. That is what I don't like. I have seen police officers behave horrifically irrationally on COPS, and I have seen them treat human beings like rag dolls, over extert their authority, and don't think for a second that I don't think that doesn't happen off TV, and I know for a fact it does. However, the public doesn't think to question it, because we have been told for so long that it's right and okay to treat other human beings like garbage because you are a cop.

That said, I know there are some policemen and women who do wonderful things, and who are excellent officers, and I do respect and commend them. My problem is that police have too much power, and not enough regulation. Even when officers commit crimes, they are not punished anywhere near as severely as citizens are. They are immune from lawsuits even when they do wrong, and often don't have to answer for what they did to their victims. There are so many policies and procedures put in place by police officers that are specifically made to make an individual feel like less of a person, and to make them feel lower than the officer who is questioning them. It's a very punitive system. And we wonder why there is so much violence towards cops?

I understand that it's a two way street, and officers are human too. However, part of the job is being professional and showing a better example. If you can't do that, don't be a cop. I no, for the record, I don't base what I think of police on TV. I base it on real life experiences, and the treatment of friends and loved ones. I'm sorry that some people find that offensive.
post #49 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by changa
You keep implying that it is more dangerous out there now than it used to be, but it's not. The world is, if anything, slightly less violent than it was then. Of course there's always dangers, but it's not sufficiently dangerous out there to advocate keeping children in little isolation bubbles. That's far more damaging IMHO.
I don't think being outside in the front yard with my children while they play is keeping them in an isolation bubble. I guess I don't really get your viewpoint that parents being WITH their children WHILE they play in a vulnerable place is keeping them in an isolation bubble.

Heck, I don't let my dogs play in my front yard alone because in this part of the country there is a big risk of them getting puppy-napped and put in dog fighting rings (which is a life way worse than just getting hit by a car.) I call that being a responsible dog-owner. I don't think my dogs live in an isolation bubble either.

Allie
post #50 of 126
I emailed this thread to my husband and hope he chimes in since this was his report, but he recently did research on the effectiveness of the Amber Alert, which led to a study of child obductions in general. The VAST majority of child abductions are done by family members and close friends. "Stranger Danger" is actually rare, it just gets the most press.

As for police harassment, police officers very frequently abuse their powers, but you find bad apples in every profression. It's just very scary when that bad apple has the power to ruin your life. It is such a blessing when you have one who does their job because they want to serve and protect, and not simply have authority! I've known some very valiant police officers in my life, and to them I am grateful for their sacrifice and service.

As for me, I would talk to a parent before reporting them to the police.

Gotta go, cranky baby....
post #51 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpie545
They are immune from lawsuits even when they do wrong, and often don't have to answer for what they did to their victims.
They are not immune from lawsuits.

http://faculty.ncwc.edu/TOConnor/205/205lect12.htm


Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpie545
There are so many policies and procedures put in place by police officers that are specifically made to make an individual feel like less of a person, and to make them feel lower than the officer who is questioning them.
The officers do not put the policies and procedures in place, the department and/or state does. The officers have to follow the procedures/policies. There are specific techniques utilized by officers when questioning a person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpie545
I'm sorry that some people find that offensive.
I personally don't find it offensive at all. You are basing your perception off of experiences the same as everyone tends to do.
post #52 of 126
Maybe I didn't read the thread thoroughly, but is it clear the age of the kids outside alone? My step daughter goes outside alone all the time...but she's 18 . My kids are too young to be completely without supervision, but my 6.5yo is responsible, we live in a small town and we have gone over stranger safety...and the fact that he needs to have permission before leaving with anyone...even a family member. There is also a rule that if anyone else comes out while he's out there he must tell me. And he's only allowed in our very small backyard or where I can see him from the kitchen window if he's by himself...and I keep the windows open in addition to checking on him every 30 seconds. I don't isolate them, nor do I feel I am naive about the danger present.

If I lived in NYC, I would not let him step foot outside our home without me by his side. If we lived in our nearby 'city' (which is a joke) I would not let him outside with out me. If we lived on Main street of our little town I would not let him go without me. I don't see the difference between me sitting on the porch watching him play and me standing 2 feet back, behind my open kitchen window folding laundry while I watch him play

And, ftr, I don't think that most parents watch their kids well outside. At least not where I live. I know of a number of 6yos that are allowed to walk across town by themselves. I see unsupervised kids at the playground all the time that are about 6 and up. I see many toddlers and preschooler playing in their yards without a parent in sight.
post #53 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellona
I don't see the difference between me sitting on the porch watching him play and me standing 2 feet back, behind my open kitchen window folding laundry while I watch him play
I think the point the other poster was trying to make about inside v outside with your child was the opportunity for someone to pull your child into a vehicle. If you are outside, in view, with your child the person probably won't even attempt to take the child. If you are inside, even looking out a window, then the person sees an open chance and has a window of opportunity to take the child while you are getting to the door to go outside.


Quote:
Originally Posted by bellona
And, ftr, I don't think that most parents watch their kids well outside. At least not where I live. I know of a number of 6yos that are allowed to walk across town by themselves. I see unsupervised kids at the playground all the time that are about 6 and up. I see many toddlers and preschooler playing in their yards without a parent in sight.
The sad thing is if someone is watching these parks/yards they are gathering the information they need for the timing to take one of these children. I cannot fathom sending my child at those ages anywhere or have them playing in the yard alone. It really isn't all about someone taking the child. What if an injury occured at the park? How would the parent even be contacted? The toddler/preschooler could be injured as well. What if a dog came from another yard and attacked one of these kids? There are all kinds of dangers that are around.
post #54 of 126
I have debated whether or not to post. I have a fear of police officers. I mean EXTREME fear. This is not a foundless fear. There are many reasons for this.

I have been attacked by police officers, unneccessarily on at least two occasions (once landing me in the hospital).

Another time, I was the victim of an attack, and somebody heard my screams, called 911, and when the police officer showed up, he helped hold ME down!!! Then, he put me in cuffs because I was being "irrational" screaming my head off (uh... yeah, I was just attacked!!!!). He of course let me go after getting me away from the scene of the attack. He never arrested my attackers.

I have been yelled at by police officers for requesting information on Level 3 Sex Offenders in my community.

I once had to call the police because a guy strung out on crack broke into a home I was babysitting at. He had forgotten he didn't live there anymore. He threatened me with a weapon, and I called 9-1-1. When the cops pulled up out front, the guy ran out the door and the police officers chased him. I left the door open, didn't go to the doorway, waiting for the police officers to show up. They never caught the guy, and they never came back to help me.

The police were called numerous times during vicioius attacks on my person by family members. They never came out to help me. One time, while I was on the phone with 9-1-1, a family member was holding a knife to my throat. I begged and pleaded for the police to come help me. They never answered the call.


Thing is, my experiences with the police are not unique in the places I've lived. A family member of mine is a police officer, and I have read his logs. He admits to racism, unneccessary force/violence, prejudices, etc. This is not just a few random police officers on the force. This is EVERYBODY. We'd be lucky if there was one good cop in the bunch.

In the next town over, a woman turned up missing (the third in 10 years), and is presumed dead. All the evidence points towards a police officer being responsible. He has not been charged in her disappearance or murder, and has served no time.

There's been police officers (actually, every single one called regarding this) who refused to file a complaint when a certain person was molesting all the children in the neighborhood. I'd have to call the police at least once a week when another kid was molested, and yet the police did NOTHING. The molester is still on the loose, victimizing children. I realize that probably has more to do with the laws than the police officers, since the child molester was just a child himself (12-13, brutally sexually molesting children ages 4-13). But they, or CPS should have investigated the home this child was coming from, since it was obvious there was sexual abuse going on in that household, and they'd been found guilty of it before.

Police investigating neighbor disputes is nothing. They show up, they tell everybody to knock it off, and they leave... usually. It heightens animosity between neighbors. That's not on the police officer, though. There's a lot better reasons to be scared of police and carry animosity towards them.


I no longer call the police in instances where somebody should be arrested. I turn away and try to ignore what I see, because I know if I call the police things will get ugly and the person breaking the law probably won't go to jail, and I'll end up getting hurt either by the person who I called the cops on, or the cops themselves.
post #55 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by a_work_in_progress
Thing is, my experiences with the police are not unique in the places I've lived. A family member of mine is a police officer, and I have read his logs. He admits to racism, unneccessary force/violence, prejudices, etc. This is not just a few random police officers on the force. This is EVERYBODY. We'd be lucky if there was one good cop in the bunch.
I am sorry to hear about all your negative experiences with police officers. I can understand your fear and distrust of them based on your experiences. It sounds as though the police force in your area as major issues from the top down. The reason all the bad cops seem to gravitate to that particular force is most likely due to the lack of discipline; they know they will get away with the behavior. I want to assure the number of good cops outweigh the number of bad cops in almost every precinct. I am in law enforcement and I am in contact with police officers. While there are bad apples so to speak, it is up to the higher ups to discipline the officers in question.
post #56 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabadger
I must admit I'm a little surprised at the general agreement that children should never be outside playing without an adult present. Don't your kids go out and ride their bikes or skateboards by themselves, go skating, walk to the library, or whatever? Do they never have any unsupervised play time except when they're in their own bedroom?
Maybe it's just because I'm in Canada, where the lax legal system and wussy police force (by U.S. standards) mysteriously coincides with a much lower rate of violent crime but that seems excessive to me. I see neighbourhood kids walking or playing outside all the time, without their parents being present, and they certainly aren't stopped and questioned by police constables over it!

I am in Canada too and I must disagree with you. I have seen MANY times cops stop and ask children who are unsupervised where their parents are. I also AGREE VERY MUCH that children should not be left outside alone. I know Canada is safe in comparison to the states but there are still far to many sex offenders and child molesters for me to feel it is safe for my children to be left outside for any period of time w/o me. I know this is a sad thing to say and I realize my kids will feel over protected but they will NOT be kidnapped or molested and that is way more important than anything else.

Stacy
post #57 of 126
My brother is a cop and has been for years... he LOVES the show Cops and has never lead me to believe it is anything but accurate.

BTW, he is a big bully and has been all his life; and gets to be an even bigger bully as a cop... yes he loves it! I am not, btw, saying he is a bad cop... actually I think he's a good cop... so far as that goes.

Kids are more likely to be harmed, assaulted, molested, and kidnapped by their own family members than by any random stranger. Just something for people to keep in mind.
post #58 of 126
I wonder what the relationship is between childhood obesity and kids no longer being allowed to play outside their homes without parental supervision. I know lots of "worried" parents who think it's much "safer" for junior to sit in front of an Xbox all day scarfing down junk food than to be out in the big, scary street. I guess it depends on your idea of relative danger.

I had hoped to be able to fight this unhealthy trend by letting my soon-to-be-born child play outside when she gets older, like I did as a kid, except that apparantly (1) there won't be anyone else out there for her to play with and (2) if I do let her outside, someone will call the cops on me.
post #59 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by AladdinsLamp
Wow, I think it is weird that so many think it is okay for children to be out in a front yard WITHOUT a parent out there. Not a single one of my friends - whose kids range in age from 13 yrs down to 6 mo EVER let their kids play in the front yard without a parent RIGHT there. And these are people spread all across my state, not just in my city or neighborhood.

Yeah, it was safe for me to do that as a kid (although dh says it wasn't safe then either, but people didn't realize it) but not now at all. As a preteen and teenage I lived in Europe and my younger brother and I took streetcars, buses, subways all over our city without any fear. But that was 20 years ago too, and US-type-random-crimes-against-strangers has been successfully exported to Europe so my ds won't be going all over London by himself at 12 like I did.

Sorry, I think you all are naive. Yeah, the chances are low that someone will swipe your child from your front stoop, but that won't be much consolation if it were your child who IS stolen. ESPECIALLY since you know how to prevent it. Seriously, watching out the window? Give me a break, they would be gone before you got out your front door.

Allie
Nope, not naive, realistic. I genuinely pity the children of your friends. Anyone who thinks a 13 yr old is too young to play outside without supervision, in her own back yard no less, has really bought into the culture of fear. When will the 13yr old miraculously be able to supervise herself? When she goes to college? Or are your friends the parents we read about that call their college age kids several times a day because they can't believe kids can survive without them?
post #60 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by a_work_in_progress
I have debated whether or not to post. I have a fear of police officers. I mean EXTREME fear. This is not a foundless fear. There are many reasons for this.

I have been attacked by police officers, unneccessarily on at least two occasions (once landing me in the hospital).

Another time, I was the victim of an attack, and somebody heard my screams, called 911, and when the police officer showed up, he helped hold ME down!!! Then, he put me in cuffs because I was being "irrational" screaming my head off (uh... yeah, I was just attacked!!!!). He of course let me go after getting me away from the scene of the attack. He never arrested my attackers.

I have been yelled at by police officers for requesting information on Level 3 Sex Offenders in my community.

I once had to call the police because a guy strung out on crack broke into a home I was babysitting at. He had forgotten he didn't live there anymore. He threatened me with a weapon, and I called 9-1-1. When the cops pulled up out front, the guy ran out the door and the police officers chased him. I left the door open, didn't go to the doorway, waiting for the police officers to show up. They never caught the guy, and they never came back to help me.

The police were called numerous times during vicioius attacks on my person by family members. They never came out to help me. One time, while I was on the phone with 9-1-1, a family member was holding a knife to my throat. I begged and pleaded for the police to come help me. They never answered the call.


Thing is, my experiences with the police are not unique in the places I've lived. A family member of mine is a police officer, and I have read his logs. He admits to racism, unneccessary force/violence, prejudices, etc. This is not just a few random police officers on the force. This is EVERYBODY. We'd be lucky if there was one good cop in the bunch.

In the next town over, a woman turned up missing (the third in 10 years), and is presumed dead. All the evidence points towards a police officer being responsible. He has not been charged in her disappearance or murder, and has served no time.

There's been police officers (actually, every single one called regarding this) who refused to file a complaint when a certain person was molesting all the children in the neighborhood. I'd have to call the police at least once a week when another kid was molested, and yet the police did NOTHING. The molester is still on the loose, victimizing children. I realize that probably has more to do with the laws than the police officers, since the child molester was just a child himself (12-13, brutally sexually molesting children ages 4-13). But they, or CPS should have investigated the home this child was coming from, since it was obvious there was sexual abuse going on in that household, and they'd been found guilty of it before.

Police investigating neighbor disputes is nothing. They show up, they tell everybody to knock it off, and they leave... usually. It heightens animosity between neighbors. That's not on the police officer, though. There's a lot better reasons to be scared of police and carry animosity towards them.


I no longer call the police in instances where somebody should be arrested. I turn away and try to ignore what I see, because I know if I call the police things will get ugly and the person breaking the law probably won't go to jail, and I'll end up getting hurt either by the person who I called the cops on, or the cops themselves.
This, unforunately occurs too often. When police know that there will be little or not discipline, they behave irrationally and horrificlly, and choose who they want to help or who they don't. Absolutely power absolutely corrupts. In my opinion, a lot of cops are just big bullies who want to assert their power. Why the heck else would they pile on suspects who are willing to give up, or make people lie on the ground when they have their hands in the air? Policy or procedure, it's a lot of garbage and it's all psychology to make the policemen seen higher or above others. I'm not saying that there aren't situations where those techniques are needed, but all too often they aren't and people sustain injuries or are verbally abused and where is the discipline? Still looking for it! I've seen cops assault people and injure people then congratulate each other on a "job well done" or "good bust". It's absolutely pitiful in my eyes. Cops are suppoused to uphold the law, not break it. You may argue that cops are only human, and it's true, but that doesn't mean that we can't hold them to the same standards that everyone else is held to.

I know that there are good cops out there, and I know there are some that really want to make a difference, and I respect and hold in high esteem every officer that takes his job that seriously. What I want is more accountibility, more discipline, and less punitive policy and procedures. I don't think that as an freedom loving, law abiding citizen that is too much to ask.
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