Originally Posted by thundersweet
I dont know what to do now. He is not being re-circumcised. The urologist is going to remove some of the loose skin that hangs and along with that the hole would go. The hole itself is getting bigger. It started out the size of maybe a stud earing and is now bigger than a pencil eraser. Bigger and more oval shaped. The skin hangs and droops. He doesn't look like he was left intact or circumcised. It just looks strange. Dh says it will affect the way he feels about his body later. He will hide it and be embarrased. My mom, a nurse, told me she thinks it needs to be done. She has seen many of both uncircumcised and circumcised and says he looks like neither. Her opinion was to spare him the embarrasment later and get it taken care of with clear instruction to the doc about removing too much skin. I just don't know. I have some thinking to do. I wish I could show a picture but that would be wrong.
Ok, I know you are feeling badly about this, so just remember I'm saying this very gently--this operation WOULD BE re-circumcising him. "Removing some of the loose skin that hangs" is removing more foreskin--just making a tighter circumcision. The hole would be removed with this extra skin being cut, but at what cost? This could cause all sorts of problems. Painful erections, hair on the shaft of his penis from the skin being stretched too tight...just a host of issues that he won't have if you just leave him be.
No one can tell you how he'll feel about his body later. If you just leave it, and in 10-15-20 years from now he IS bothered by it, he can absolutely opt for the surgery! No problem! But he can never, ever, ever
get it back if it's taken away from him. One of the many, many problems with circumcision is that a dr can't tell how much skin is "too much". You don't know how a penis will grow, or how much skin is too much. It's all guess work. ALL of it. From the very first cut, it's guesswork. I have been with men who have had a tight circumcision. I won't go into detail, but it's not something I would wish on any man--or their sexual partner. Please please please, just leave your baby alone for now. You can ALWAYS revisit this when he is older, and when he has a say.
And I have to add one more thing. It does not matter to anyone--not your dh, not your mother, not you, not ANYONE--if your son's penis looks "strange". What are they going to do, frame it and hang it in the dining room?? It's not theirs (or yours) to make "look pretty". It matters ONLY to him, and his future sexual partners. It's not a mantle decoration, it doesn't matter if it's not asthetically pleasing to anyone BUT him.