6 year old daughter angry and sad at bio father..HELP! - Page 2

[kater07]

Have you considered getting her someone to talk to? I know that moms are supposed to be the best at everything, but there are counselors out there trained for this exact issue. Maybe there's something that a professional has been trained to do that you don't know about. Surely there's a family friendly psychologist out there who can help your whole family by talking to your DD then working with you, DS and DD to get through this.

It takes more than a sperm to be a real dad.

Bless your fiance for loving your children and being a real dad even if he isn't tied to them biologically.

Hugs to your DD, I cried at the thought of her being so upset. I can't imagine what she's going through and my heart aches for you and her.

[lucyem]

My sister and I grew up with a father like this. Along with other issues. When I was young it hurt and we evetually learned to deal with it in our own ways. I think counseling would have helped. Letting your daughter yell at her dad might be a good thing. He could wake up. There is also the chance he could blame you for causing problems. In our case yelling at our father was useless, he never heard a thing even on his death bed he still thought he was a great dad and blamed my mother for it all. In college I read a book called "Second Chances" that really opened my eyes to my father. It also helped because I discovered I was not alone. Most children of divorce seem to experience similar emotions when dad leaves. The book is a long term study of families who divorce. Worth reading for everyone involved in a divorce with kids or thinking about it.

Anyway get some counseling for your daughter. Give her an outlet for her emotions. The counselor may also have some other ideas that would help her deal with her emotions.

[supermuma]

Wow! Lots of good advice:)

Thanks so much for the great advice.
I have thought about getting her into some therapy. I am in the process of finding one that I trust and will take our insurance! Definately something that could help.



It just frustrates me that he doesn't even get it (as another poster noted with their father). He doesn't even realize what he is doing to her, or to her brother. ...

My son expressed some anger this last time they saw him, new for him! Bio dad called on Christmas eve so I let them go over for a few hours during the day. I picked them up in the evening on Christmas eve.
My son did not want to go but through some persuasion from his dad he went. When I picked him up he was on a rampage. He was hitting his "nana" and screaming at his dad, "I HATE you and I am NEVER coming back here again", he said it over and over again. He was crying and I felt sooo badly.
When we got into the car my son said, " I am SO MAD AT YOU!".
I asked him why and he told me that it was because I mad him go to daddy's and he didn't want to. He never wants to and I always make him go" (OUCH! )
He then told me that he wanted to rip up the present daddy gave him because it was from him and he hated him.

I just kind of let him vent. I told him that I would not force him to go anymore (this has been an ongoing thing and this is the first time he has verbally expressed how much he hates going). I give him the option now. I no longer feel any obligation to his dad for force my son to go with him.

My daughter still seems quiet and resigned. On the phone last night she asked him if he would promise to spend more time with her. I have heard him make these promises to her so many times and it just breaks my heart.

Wow, that turned into a venting session.

It is so nice to know that there are people out there who understand. THANK YOU THANK YOU!