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Rainer Matthew Keegan Rest in peace 12-12-05

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
I'll get around to posting on the grief and loss thread soon, but I wanted to post here first, since I consider you guys to be my friends after the months of posting while I was pregnant. And you guys know the whole story of his trials and birth.

My son stopped breathing at 1pm yesterday afternoon. After heroic measures, he died at 4:50 this morning. I spent the best 7 weeks of my life with my darling boy, and I don't understand how he came through everything else- all his surgeries and everything to be taken away now.

I was walking and feeding him in our sling and I noticed that he had stopped sucking. I thought he was asleep, so I pulled myself out and then after about a minute, I got this nagging feeling that something wasn't right. We pulled him out and realized he wasn't breathing. We did infant CPR while we waited on the side of the road for the paramedics. He was in cardiac arrest for over 30 minutes. They were able to start his heart again, but he never was able to breathe on his own. This morning, his organs began to fail and we decided to remove him from the vent. We were able to hold him, bathe him and dress him before we left. I still don't understand why I couldn't bring him home again. I'm having a very hard time accepting...
post #2 of 40
I'm so very sorry for your loss of your precious baby. My heart just goes out to you and your family.



Tracy
post #3 of 40
You are in my thoughts. I couldn't help but respond with hugs to this thread. Be well, mama.

megin
post #4 of 40
There are no words to tell you how very sorry I am.

Peace to you, mama.
post #5 of 40
Words cannot express how very sorry I am for your family's loss.
post #6 of 40
Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry for your loss.
post #7 of 40
Oh mama, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I hang out on the pregnancy and loss board and there are so many great mamas that will be there for you. I hope you will get the support you need to get through this awful, heartbreaking time. You, your family and especially your precious baby Rainer will be in my thoughts.
post #8 of 40
Oh mama...I am so sorry. Rest in peace sweet Rainer....you are loved.

:
post #9 of 40
I am so sorry you lost your dear baby boy. No Mama should know this pain.
post #10 of 40
I am so sorry.
post #11 of 40
I am so sorry
post #12 of 40
Oh Mama! I am soo sorry for your loss. I hope you find the peace and strength you need through this difficult time. Sending you lots of love and hugs!! May Rainer remain in your hearts forever!! My prayers and thoughts are going out to you and your family
post #13 of 40
I'm so sorry.
post #14 of 40
Mama, I am crying for you and Rainer. I am so sorry for your loss. You are both in my prayers.
post #15 of 40
I'm so sorry mama. My hugs to you.
post #16 of 40
I am very, very sorry too. What a tragic loss. You are in my prayers, Mama.
post #17 of 40
I am so sorry...words fail me...

rest in peace sweet baby Rainer


post #18 of 40
No words seem adequate. Know that your family is in our prayers
post #19 of 40
I am so sorry Mama....
I will be looking for you over on the grief boards.
post #20 of 40
I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet little Rainer.
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