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Is it okay to say I'm praying for someone? - Page 2

post #21 of 82
12/13/05 at 2:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
That's praying for their own selfish wants, not praying for you.

(Hmmm, maybe the various religious mamas on the forum could pray for your family to develop some tolerance. )

Well, I believe in karma and know that in this lifetime (or another) life experience will teach them better.
I don't think anything good can come out of getting into someone else's personal space (unless specifically invited into said space).

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post #22 of 82
12/13/05 at 3:00pm
I think it is incredibly nice and sensitive of you to ask the question here in the first place!

I am a secular humanist (atheist) and really don't prefer people who KNOW I am to tell me they are praying for me. It seems like a backhanded compliment if you kwim. But if someone on a message board who DIDN'T know my religion said a simple "I'm praying for you", that wouldn't offend me. It wouldn't make me feel any better but it wouldn't offend.

Of course, this is all assuming that it is praying for illness to be cured, or the like. Praying (like my MIL does) that I will get my kids baptized or will find religion is very offensive to me. If she wants to do that, have at it but don't tell me. She also prays we'll not hit traffic on our way home, or for me to do well on my college finals (years ago) - to me, that is offensive too. My thought on it is that if there IS a god, praying for light traffic is like prayer spam. Do you really want to fill up god's in box with crap like that?? When she would tell me she was praying for stuff like that, I always told her to pray for a cure for cancer, food for the hungry, etc. Don't waste your time on the college final! I'll do well if I studied enough...
post #23 of 82
12/13/05 at 3:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday
I am an atheist and pretty touchy about religion, as it happens, but "I'll pray for you" has never bothered me.

The exception is when the person means they are praying for me to repent or find jesus or whatever. That is a little offensive. But if they mean they are praying for me because of illness or other difficult circumstances, hey, go for it. I take it as, "I'll be thinking of you."
: except I'm not atheist, but I'm not religious. Probably more of an agnostic I guess.
post #24 of 82
12/13/05 at 3:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday
I am an atheist and pretty touchy about religion, as it happens, but "I'll pray for you" has never bothered me.

The exception is when the person means they are praying for me to repent or find jesus or whatever. That is a little offensive. But if they mean they are praying for me because of illness or other difficult circumstances, hey, go for it. I take it as, "I'll be thinking of you."
: Except I'm Jewish
post #25 of 82
12/13/05 at 3:58pm
I don't care for it. I'd rather hear," I'll be thinking of you". Keep your personal religious beliefs out of my face, thanks.
post #26 of 82
12/13/05 at 3:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten
... She also prays we'll not hit traffic on our way home, or for me to do well on my college finals (years ago) - to me, that is offensive too. My thought on it is that if there IS a god, praying for light traffic is like prayer spam. Do you really want to fill up god's in box with crap like that?? When she would tell me she was praying for stuff like that, I always told her to pray for a cure for cancer, food for the hungry, etc. Don't waste your time on the college final! I'll do well if I studied enough...
That's a great way to put it...'prayer spam!! '
Reminds me of something..when I was in elementary school I went to St. Vincent's Catholic school. At a volleyball tournament, our girls team had a prayer before the match, where we prayed to be able to beat St. Anne's. (It was at a tournament of all the Catholic schools in the city). I asked the coach if we really should be praying to God to ask St. Vincent's team to beat St. Anne's.
I'm glad the OP started this thread! I often find myself praying when I read something here and want to support the person who posted it. I can keep that to myself, but then I don't really know how to answer the posts. I feel bad reading through a post, praying for the person or situation in question, and not leaving a comment, because I think it could be hard on the poster to come here for support and not see many responses. At the same time, I feel a little weird posting 'you're in my thoughts', or 'I'll be thinking of you'.
post #27 of 82
12/13/05 at 4:51pm
I'm atheist and the only time it really offends me is when a christian says "I'll pray you find god" or something like that. It's like they're praying to convert me KWIM? I can think of so many more worthwhile things to pray for if you're going to bother with prayer at all, how about world hunger? Or abused children? Or the war in Iraq? Also it implies that there's something wrong with me or I must be unhappy in my non-belief and need help to find the "right" way, so that's offensive.

But the other day I was telling my aunt about how dh lost his job and she said she had been praying for us every morning, I wasn't offended by that. I don't think it will work but it wasn't a condescending thing or judgement about my non-belief. I just sort of took it as her way of saying she sympathizes.
post #28 of 82
12/13/05 at 5:25pm
I like to tell mamas I am praying for them especially when I don't have an answer to their sad situation....I think it can be taken as "I have you in my thoughts" kind of thing.
post #29 of 82
12/13/05 at 6:02pm
it doesn't offend me, as long as it isn't condecending.
post #30 of 82
12/13/05 at 6:02pm
Doesn't offend me either. I think that's part of being in a diverse group like this, and I embrace it. When you need support here you've got prayers going to the christian/jewish/muslim go, the pagan gods and goddess, the wind, the trees, the sky, as well as warm thoughts and lighted candles and positive energy. Its a great thing really.
post #31 of 82
12/13/05 at 6:04pm
I'm an atheist and it doesn't bother me. I don't believe there is a god, but that doesn't mean I should be bothered by anybody else's relationship with their god or their religion. If you pray to a god for any reason, that is your business.

One time, though, someone told me they would pray for me BECAUSE I'm an atheist. THAT is crossing a line. Most people aren't that rude and ignorant to say that to an atheist though.
post #32 of 82
12/13/05 at 6:23pm
I'm Jewish and it wouldn't bother me. Of course, I'm talking about the "I'm sorry you're having a rough time, I'll pray for you" type of thing, not the "I'll pray that you convert to my religion" kind of thing.
post #33 of 82
12/13/05 at 6:52pm
Like most pp, it generally doesn't offend me. The exception is when (1) the comment comes from someone who makes a big thing about their religious beliefs all the time (my evangelical in-laws do this--it's hard to have a conversation where some mention of their church/religious beliefs doesn't come up) and (2) when the comment comes when I don't feel that I am "in need" (e.g. when I told my mother I was having a homebirth she replied that she would be praying for me every minute).

I wouldn't be offended by someone saying they were praying for me on a message board if I had shared a sad situation or asked for support. I think if someone is willing to take the time out of their day to do something positive for me that is a cool thing, and that makes me feel good.
post #34 of 82
12/13/05 at 7:17pm
why wouldn't it be? I mean...if someone does not accept YOUR prayers then whatever.. it's their thing.
Just the fact that someone wants to do something as nice as send a good thought in the form of a prayer... that's really nice.
You just can't be pc all the time. If someone really wants to get all hung up on the word "prayer" then whatever-- they are not looking to the good wishes behind it & ONLY focusing on the word -which is not accepting of your goodwill.
carry on with what YOU want to do for people.
those that will accept, appreciate & send back the goodness.
You send me prayers. good thoughts, whatever anytime.
post #35 of 82
12/13/05 at 8:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalizzie
What do you think? Especially if you are non-Christian...would you be offended if I said I was praying for you?

Thanks!

Ideally, I'd wish that people wouldn't assume that I believe as they do and therefore, they wouldn't assume that praying for me is something I'd appreciate.

OTOH, I realize that praying for someone is something that is meaningful to the pray-er, so if you said it to me, I'd take it as a "I'm thinking of you" kind of message.

Then again, now that you KNOW how I feel about this subject, I'd be irked if you still said, "I'm praying for you."
post #36 of 82
12/13/05 at 8:55pm
For probably 20 years, if someone said they were praying for me, it showed they didn't know me at all. Prayer wasn't meaningful for me, so the fact that someone said "I'm praying for you" means that they're doing something to make themselves feel better without conveying information that makes me feel any better. It came across as selfish, manipulative, and/or ignorant of who I am.

I'm no longer offended by such sentiments. My mom just emailed that she is praying I'll get this job. That used to feel manipulative to me, but now I feel she's just holding it together the best she can and is at a total loss for what else to say. I'm glad she's thinking about me and hoping for me.
post #37 of 82
12/13/05 at 9:00pm
Thanks so much for asking. I am an atheist. It actually does bother me, and let me tell you I have been prayed over a lot, or rather my son has with all his health issues. But I always try to take it in the kind spirit in which it is meant and grit my teeth invisibly. It's the thought that counts, not what the offering means to the giver, so often in life!
post #38 of 82
12/13/05 at 9:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CerridwenLorelei
the offense works backwards too so I think its nice that you asked It shows you care

( I once on another messageboard was told I had better not do any more sending of good vibes to the mamas family cause I would make them go to hell...)
I don't think those ladies are doing anything different than people saying it offends them if someone else prays for them. Really, if I ask someone for good vibes, thoughts, whatever, I don't care what form it is in.
post #39 of 82
12/13/05 at 10:20pm
I am not religious in the least but if someone wants to pray for me it certainly doesn't hurt. It doesn't offend me in the least and tells me someone cares.
post #40 of 82
12/13/05 at 10:30pm
Prayer in my mind is no different than someone saying "we'll keep you in our thoughts.", "I hope everything will be okay." Or any variation of that.

If in truth G-d hears prayers and acts on them, hey, no harm, no foul. If G-d does not, then just the energy of the prayer, thought, vibe, intention, etc can help.

We have a thread in TTC that is called the TTC Prayer List. It is a list of women who are ttc, and want a little extra help. Not everyone on the list believes the same thing, but we all knew what it meant. That there were multiple people out there wishing we would get pregnant. Certainly no harm in that.

I am with the other posters that if you say "I'll pray for you" and mean to find Jesus or whatever, then yeah, I am a little offended by that. But all in all, it is your time, and your energy....doesn't mean I am going to change my mind on what I believe.

If you want to pray for me, heck the positive energy can't hurt.
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