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Would you consider *any* cosmetic procedure for your baby? - Page 2

post #21 of 48
Thread Starter 
Just to reassure some of you, I am 150% against circumcision.

I agree, the foreskin is important and natural and normal, but in some respect, so is Ivan's birthmark. It does not hurt him, it is not malignant or interfere with anything. But I see the point.

I'm leaving it alone, for sure; it's his, just as his foreskin is his, and I will not be changing that at all.

I really appreciate all the input. What started for me as a question in comparison, ended up really helpful in the reality of the situation. So thanks!
post #22 of 48
There are so many variables I'd have to consider- how severe the "defect", where it was, what the surgery would entail, risks, etc - so it's not really a yes or no question for me. I guess the main thing I'd have to consider would be would the surgery have been worth it if something terrible happened (god forbid)...would I feel like I had made a smart decision? The hard part is that I wouldn't want my kid to have too rough of a time socially, but doing anything that might possibly risk my kids life isn't really acceptable either,I don't think.

I'm a new mom and have already learned never to say never, so I can't say what I'd do in a real life situation....not that I said what I'd do in a hypothetical one either, heh.
post #23 of 48
Depending on what was wrong...yes, I would consider it. I wouldn't pierce my child's ears or dye/perm their hair (not surgery, but I know people who color their 6 year old's hair)....if my child had a port wine stain on his/her face, I would...have it removed. If my child's ears stuck out and looked really...really bad...I'd have them fixed early because the older they get the more 'stiff' the cartlidge becomes.

I wouldn't fix a port wine stain on the belly or bottom...we left our son's skin tag on his ear because we didn't think it would interfere much.....but I think that for me (I'm only going to speak for myself) that doing a cosmetic procedure is acceptable if it saves the child from future teasing/psychic pain.

Unfortunately, even adults look away/comment when they see scars/port wine stains etc on the face of a child...and I've seen small children (age 3) who laugh or point or simply want to 'touch' the defect that they see.

Yes...I would consider it....it may mean that I am making a choice for my child, but it is one that I'd be happy to 'answer to' when they grew up and were old enough to understand. I make a lot of other choices for them...to immunize, to send them to a specific school, etc...

Anyway...that is my opinion only.
post #24 of 48
I would consider it. I don't see it in the same light as circ.

The only personal example I have is my daughter Megan and her feeding tubes. She left the PICU at 3.5m old w/ an NG tube (a nasogastric feeding tube that ran from her nose to her stomach) we kept that tube for a looong time. It was traumatic to change it and if she pulled it out we had to put it back in.

Then when she was about 18m or so, I noticed that she would put her hand over it (it was taped to her face) to try and hide it from people. When we were out in public people would stare. Or she would bury her face in our shoulders, etc.

The fact that it was somehow bothering her socially and that it was painful to her to put in again and again, helped us decide to put in a g-tube (a feeding tube that goes from her belly through her skin into her stomach) that would be hidden under her clothes.

So, we 'put her through' a surgical procedure and recovery for those reasons, and because we wondered if she would begin eating better w/o the ng tube irritating the back of her throat (she did).

Anyway, I know it isn't the same thing, but a child's self-concept can depend on SO many things. And sometimes a surgical procedure for a *real* problem (ie, NOT circumcision) can be worth it.
post #25 of 48
My son was born with the upper cartilage of both ears misshapen and flat. As he grew they changed to look like "elf" ears.

He is now 16, has had some kids call him elf ears in school but doesn't really seem to think much of it. He is keeping his hair long and they are covered up now. I do think they may bother him a little bit but he has never asked about surgical correction.

If he ever did bring it up, if it was that important to him I would consider an appointment to get more information. I don't know right now how I would feel if he really wanted something done about it.
post #26 of 48
Quote:
I wouldn't pierce my child's ears or dye/perm their hair (not surgery, but I know people who color their 6 year old's hair).
:

I put purple manic panic in my *2.5yo* DD's hair..semi permenant hair color..she wanted it..she kept bugging me for "purple hair" because mommy had purple hair...so, I put it in...it's just hair, it isn't a permenant hair color.....it has no chemicals...why not?

Guess I'm a bad mom......
post #27 of 48
I agree with you 100 percent Amanda ... nice to see you BTW...I would wait until he's older, see how he handles it and what he wants to do about it. If and when he can make an informed, mature decision on it, then I would deal with it accordingly. But for now, as long as it's not hurting him, why cause him pain that he may or may not care about later on. Good luck and so glad to see your newest little man is doing well.
post #28 of 48
Pandora -
I think that's different. When I think of mom's coloring their kids' hair, I think of pageant mom-types that want their little girl blonder, or with highlights. My daughter likes her hair to be colored pink on occassion, and I think that's totally different.
I would love to see your purple-haired 2.5 year old, though
post #29 of 48
i would only change something now that was affecting him, like sight, breathing etcetc

i am all for waiting until they are older for the other things. who knows by the time they are old enough to make their own choice, the technology will be so much better and they may have less painful and evasive options etc
post #30 of 48
OK, here's something to ruminate:

What if the child had teeth that weren't attractive but not malformed or crooked? Would you get braces fitted? I know it's not surgery but it is a change of their body and it is permanent and in this case, it would be totally cosmetic.
post #31 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora114
:

I put purple manic panic in my *2.5yo* DD's hair..semi permenant hair color..she wanted it..she kept bugging me for "purple hair" because mommy had purple hair...so, I put it in...it's just hair, it isn't a permenant hair color.....it has no chemicals...why not?

Guess I'm a bad mom......
Sounds kind of cute, actually......I'm thinking more 'pagent' mom stuff. I actually know two different families that do this...One has a child now in 2nd grade whom she had been giving perms/highlights to since kindergarten...and the other has a 5th grade boy whom she began highlighting about 1.5 years ago....It just strikes me as funny that beauty seems so important that the hair has to be highlighted/permed....and the kids are already so sweet-looking...
post #32 of 48
Frank - I'm no orthodontist, but if teeth need braces, generally it's more than cosmetic, I think.
I had braces for 3 years, and I had to have permanant teeth removed before the braces were put on because I had a very small jaw (I have 24 teeth now instead of the usual 28). If I hadn't had them done, I would most likely have a very crowded mouth as an adult, bite problems, and problems with decay where my teeth would be overlapping. I have "perfect" teeth now, and have never had a cavity, and the decision to have braces was made *with* me at the age of 11.
post #33 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankly Speaking
OK, here's something to ruminate:

What if the child had teeth that weren't attractive but not malformed or crooked? Would you get braces fitted? I know it's not surgery but it is a change of their body and it is permanent and in this case, it would be totally cosmetic.
That was me in high school. I had one crroked tooth, right in the front, and I asked for braces.

I'm glad I was the one who got to make the decision!
post #34 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankly Speaking
OK, here's something to ruminate:

What if the child had teeth that weren't attractive but not malformed or crooked? Would you get braces fitted? I know it's not surgery but it is a change of their body and it is permanent and in this case, it would be totally cosmetic.

If he wanted them, then yes I'd consent to it AFTER he was fully informed of what to expect.

fwiw, ds1 is currently going through some orthodontia. In his case, it's not completely cosmetic, but still we wouldn't have gone through with it if he had not consented.
post #35 of 48
I had (well, still have) a very dear friend in school with a similiar birthmark but his stretched onto his neck as well. I do not ever remember him being teased. He was very popular and we all just sort of were unphased by it. It was just Sam, you know? He did not seem to mind it at all...it was just his face, grown up with it all his life and that was just his reality...very simple thinking about it. He is my age now and has not gotten surgery or ever really considered it.
post #36 of 48
My mother took us both in for orthodontic review when I was 14 and brother was 16. His teeth were very crooked and he was the one that insisted on the braces. The dentist said he didn't need any, it was just cosmetic. I didn't really want them but was told I needed them. Oh well. If I had been informed enough (I was only 14) I would have researched it more to see if I really did. It was an experience I hated, I wore them for 4 years. My brother always resented that I got them and he didn't. He was a VERY handsome man and felt that his crooked teeth detracted from his looks. That's his choice, his body. I wish he had gotten braces as he wanted them so much.
post #37 of 48
I was facing a slightly, slightly similar pressure for my 5yr old at the time. My Ped and mom and aunt wanted me to have my DD checked by a dematologist for a capillary *spider* on her cheek. I agreed and had her checked out. It was just cosmetic, and the only thing he could do was laser it. I decided it wasn't worth it. It didn't hurt her, and it wasn't dangerous for her. She wasn't asking for it to be fixed, and she proabably wouldn't have even noticed it if it wasn't for everyone talking about it.

My aunt was ready to pay for us to have it done so DD wouldn't feel bad about herself in her new school, etc. DD wasn't self-conscious about it, and she didn't have any desire one way or the other about having it treated. My aunt couldn't understand why *I* didn't just *decide* FOR my minor child to have it done "for her own good." My Dd decided when she wanted her ears pierced, and she can decide if she ever wants to do anything about the spot on her cheek. BTW, I'm very glad we let it be b/c it is more than half gone all by itself.

The only way I would do any sort of painful(after pains included) cosmetic procedure on my child would be for something dangerous, like an extra, unusable digit that could be ripped off if left. I don't consider something that looks bad AND causes damage to another part of the body as cosmetic, that would be medically necessary to me.
post #38 of 48
Our children will all probably end up with orthodontic work...but out oldest (11) already has them. He had such a bad underbite that it looked like the had buck teeth...in actuality, his lower jaw didn't grow properly...as a result, he also had mild speech issues and did speech therapy in earlier elementary school. He won't die from it, but we are having it fixed...it will require 3 years of braces and the orthodontist said that if it isn't completely fixed by the braces he may need oral surgery as a young adult.

Our daughter has an underbite as well, though it isn't as bad....she is only in the 4th grade now, but she has already managed to chip a tooth and her teeth have worn improperly on one side...she has some serious wear and tear going on...I'd like her to avoid dentures as an grandma...so yes...we will spring for the braces.

And btw...I don't think doing braces for cosmetic reasons is all that bad anyway.

kris
post #39 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by dynamohumm6
Frank - I'm no orthodontist, but if teeth need braces, generally it's more than cosmetic, I think.
Generally, that's true but there are cases where it is purely cosmetic such as wide spaces between the teeth and teeth that are not straight but are causing no problems. Some of my back teeth are crooked but no one other than my dentist and I know. Braces for me would have not improved my dental health or life. It would have been purely cosmetic.

I know that unattractive teeth can torpedo careers and your love life. I know a woman that is very attractive until she smiles and then she becomes far less attractive. Because of her circumstances in life, I have no doubt that she has adequate dental care and she could certainly afford braces. Should her parents have had this done for her while she was a child?

Let the discussion continue!



Frank
post #40 of 48
Well, in that case, there's absolutely no reason an adult can't have braces, either. I know lots of adults that have them now, because their parents couldn't afford them when they were kids!
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