how do you stay calm and relax?

[mimi!]

Hi all,
I'm very new around here and I'm looking for some ways to relax and not worry. Its hard not to worry as I've had a m/c, so I'm wondering how some of you stay calm. Is there anything you do or think about that helps keep you sane to help preserve your pg?

Thanks

[leurMaman]

honestly, the only thing that gets me through my fears is meditation, positive thoughts, and prayer. Best wishes

[Ary99]

You are not alone, my friend. I am dealng with lots of fears and anxieties right now.

I don't "feel" very pg and I'm not sure what to make of that. I didn't feel very pg with my last baby and that ended in a loss. I think for me I'm being realistic about the chances that it could happen again, but I also tell myself it's all really out of my control.

It's hard. I had a really bad moment yesterday morning. Keeping busy has helped. In the evening I have quiet and keep my hand on my belly. Truly right now I am having a hard time thinking there a real baby growing in there. I won't feel more excited until I am much further along.

I'm reading books unrelated to pregnancy. I'm spending time preparing for the holidays. You can *always* email or pm me. I really know what it's like.

Hil

[jenmk]

Anything that will completely take your focus while you're doing it. Like yoga, or crafting or reading a book you just can't put down or whatever you like to do that when you look at the clock, you say, "Gee, it's already 10 pm? How did that happen?" Those sorts of things help a bit, because you at least get some time when you're not stressing.

[Ary99]

Great suggestions, Jen (btw, love you artwork; you are very talented).

If you don't knit, now would be a great time to start. It's not that hard and it has a rhythmic, meditative quality to it. I'm making a bag right now.

[jenmk]

Thanks, Ary99!

I second the knitting. I've made simple, easy to make sweaters and hats for my kids. As well as stuff for everyone else. (In fact I'm currently working on an afghan for DH with big huge chenille yarn . . . that will not be done in time for Christmas! Argh. Last year I made him a sweater that wasn't done in time for Christmas, too. In fact, it's still not done . . . )It is very calming, and keeps your focus well.

[mimi!]

Originally Posted by Ary99

You are not alone, my friend. I am dealng with lots of fears and anxieties right now.

I don't "feel" very pg and I'm not sure what to make of that. I didn't feel very pg with my last baby and that ended in a loss. I think for me I'm being realistic about the chances that it could happen again, but I also tell myself it's all really out of my control.

It's hard. I had a really bad moment yesterday morning. Keeping busy has helped. In the evening I have quiet and keep my hand on my belly. Truly right now I am having a hard time thinking there a real baby growing in there. I won't feel more excited until I am much further along.

I'm reading books unrelated to pregnancy. I'm spending time preparing for the holidays. You can *always* email or pm me. I really know what it's like.

Hil

Hil:Yeah, I don't feel that pg. either. Last time it hit really hard - the fatigue and nausea and I grew big fast 'cause there were 2 (which ended in a loss). This time its much milder seeming so I'm hoping that doesnt' mean that I'm any 'less pg.' or a loss is imminent. And me too, I can't wait until I'm past 8 weeks, then 12, that will be super exciting.

At any rate, many of the suggestions are good. I should knit ds a scarf and do some yoga - if nothing for my back which is a constant upkeep, pg or not!
Thanks all!

[veganf]

calm

Congratulations, and relax. I don't think there is anything we can do but know that worrying can only cause stress, which is not helpful. Eat well, rest, exercise gently. I had an early miscarriage in August '05, and today would be the same gestational day as when it happened, so I'm really crossing my fingers and hoping to get through today and the coming week! But I know that if I don't, that nature knows something about this baby that I don't, and that it would probably be for the best. Anyhow, that's my way of looking at it. Just think positive thoughts, and tell your baby-to-be that you want him/her to stick around and grow grow grow!

- Krista

[mimi!]

Originally Posted by veganf

Congratulations, and relax. I don't think there is anything we can do but know that worrying can only cause stress, which is not helpful. Eat well, rest, exercise gently. I had an early miscarriage in August '05, and today would be the same gestational day as when it happened, so I'm really crossing my fingers and hoping to get through today and the coming week! But I know that if I don't, that nature knows something about this baby that I don't, and that it would probably be for the best. Anyhow, that's my way of looking at it. Just think positive thoughts, and tell your baby-to-be that you want him/her to stick around and grow grow grow!

- Krista

Krista- I just saw your message on the due date thread and we have the same day, the 22 or 23. I don't know either! I also m/c in Aug 05. Incidently, My ds was conceived in Aug. 02. So now I think that its pretty special to give birth in Aug. now.

I know what you mean about the week that you had your loss. I am really looking forward to getting through week 7 and 8. I hope you can manage to stay calm and relaxed this week. Good luck!

[veganf]

Aug

Mimi!
My mother is all into astrology (though I don't pay any attention to that stuff), so her first comment was "another LEO!!" My father's birthday was Aug. 17th, my aunt's is the 18th, my husband's is the 9th, my good friend's little boy was just born on the 17th right after my father died, my youngest nephew was born on the 18th....so August is a loaded birthday month in our family. So I'm really hoping it's the end of August so it's not right on top of all the other birthdays. Though another 17th birthday would be nice, my mother would think it's really neat.

- Krista

[FlipFlops]

When I find a way that works, I'll let you know...lol.

Seriosuly, though, I am a worrier by nature and it's gotten worse since I've become a mom. I've tried meditating but I find that I can't NOT think. I've found one thought-stopping technique to be somewhat effective. When I get a troubling thought in my head, I picture a big red STOP sign in my head as many times as I need to until the thought goes away.