traumatized child???

[hawkfeather]

i have five kids.. my eldest son is nine and i am incresingly worried abtuo his emotional well being..
all i can think is i wsh he could see how loved he is.. i try so hard to how him- i remember when he was a baby and nursing and sleepign all curled up..now he seems sooo sad.
today his teacher told me he accidentaly hurt a child at school and his response was to *hurt himself*..i know he is hyper sensative..when he was little people rushed him to grow up becasue he is tall and his elder sister is developmentally delayed so there was this pressure to act like her- plus hs father was abusive with me.. nver the kids.. and he was young btu i know energetically it must have left a huge impact...
I try so hard to do everythgin right.. we don't have a tv, they go to a wonderful waldorf school.. we co-slept..but ostly i love them so much..i worry the damage has been done and i am at my wit's end with how to help him love himself-- after his bio dad and i split up i myself was so traumatized.. i know that my depression must have affected them all as well.. he just took it on.. he is terrified of upsetting me.. i can't ask him to pick up his clothign without him crying cause he is bad..and all my other kids are breezing alnog happy as all get out..
i wonder abotu therapy but i fear him thinking there is soemthign wrong with him.. i have no probelm with him beign emotional and feelign things or crying..but i wnt him to be confidant and happy too...
i am lookign for any and all feedback here!!!!!
pardon my typing.. i am just upset!

[spirit4ever]

Oh mamma, how I wish I could help you out. My oldest is only 3, so I have no experience, I really hope others can give you some much needed advice.

[Kindermama]

HUGS to you! Your son is very lucky to have you for a mama!

I remember after my parents divorce (I was 9), I was very emotional...I actually started co-sleeping with my mom again. Looking back, I wish I just had some one on one attention with her. And I also wished my parents would just stop fighting with each other. It was also difficult to accept my new stepmom. Therapy can't hurt at all...it usually helps immensely.

[westernmamomma]

I 2nd the idea to get some therapy for him. It would help him to have an environment to express himself with no expectations (no offense to you, it's his perception of his environment) It would also help you bc the therapist could give you some ideas on how to work with him to make him more secure. Is there any way that you can spend some one on one time with him outside of the house? Is there someone who could take the other kids for a while so you two can reconnect a bit and just play? We've been dealing with some anxiety issues with dd who is 3 and the time together just the two of us helps.

[dessismama]

I definitely think your son will benefit from therapy. I have a 9 year old daughter who was very traumatized by being in an orphanage in severe neglect for 2 years... We did a therapy called theraplay that seemed to be very helpful. It is a sort of a guided play and it was easy for her to express her feelings, fears, etc.

I highly recommend it!!

((Hugs))

[mom2littlebean]

I don't know where you live. But I have a number for a therapist who specialises in trauma.

He has helped adults as well as children. He was also commisioned by the US armed forces to help deal with PTWS.

anyways pm me if you would like further info.

[ladyelmo1]

I have to agree with the others, that therapy, especially play therapy would probably be a good choice at this point. From the sounds of things, you've done all you can as his mama, and it's time to ask for help. There is no shame in it; you have done your best! You are a wonderful mama, never doubt it!

[kimmie-pooh]

I agree with the others regarding therapy. Please don't be afraid to take him. He will understand.

You are a wonderful mama. Don't ever doubt that. If you weren't, you wouldn't be hurting right now.

Hugs to you. I hope you find the answers you need for your sweet boy soon.